?DOWN TO CLOWN?

June 16, 2024 Radagast Uncategorized 16

This just deserved a tribute

Rated PG-13.

A young Dutch low status white male down on his luck, decides to embark on his lifelong dream of becoming a clown.

Does he have what it takes? Is he… down to clown?

Coming to a cinema near you.

16 Comments

    • Mehen, if you are still taking St. John’s wort, can you share how it is going?

      I started taking about 400mg/day 2 weeks ago to stave off a bout of depression. It seems to be working, maybe. But maybe my mood recovered on its own, or maybe because I am sporting more… ?

      Reply

      • Disc_writes,

        Hard to say why your depression is better. I’m not aware of any means of distinguishing between the SJW or your physical exercise (which is known to be very helpful as well, although in a different, delimited context)

        Funny you ask about my SJW usage, as I’m about to finish my last bottle and will be stopping for the foreseeable future. I do believe it had a kind of “mood lift” effect on me, the effect is somewhat akin to a slow turning-up of a dimmer switch on a warm incandescent lightbulb in a dark and creepy cave.

        But the problem is that depression and anxiety seem to exist on opposite ends of a spectrum. There is a “see-saw” effect where, if you treat the anxiety by “dampening” the CNS, you also make any comorbid depression worse. On the flip side, if you treat the depression by trying to “amp up energy and liveliness” you will make the anxiety worse.

        In my case, although I believe I benefited from a general sense of “brightening my mood” from the SJW, I have also been suffering from extreme obsessive rumination. I think I posted here before that it feels like my brain is overheated. I’ve always been an over-thinker, but this feels like something different. And the fact that the active ingredient in SJW, hypercin/hyperforin is more dopaminergic than serotonergic lends support to the idea.

        On the other hand, my issues have always been more deeply rooted in my Cluster B personality disorder, so it might have been folly to expect any pharma intervention to be helpful since it has long been established that there are no pharma treatments for personality disorders. And truth be told, with my current stage of life, my living conditions, and the state of the world, it might be entirely appropriate that my mind is freaking out about my future. Hard to tell.

        In any case, I’ve recently started taking lithium orotate to tamp down on the overactivity of my brain which will hopefully induce a more zombie-like state and assist with sleep.

        Reply

        • There is low dose methylene blue, if you can stand being totally “clean” for long enough for it to be safe to try. If you still have SJW or the like in your system you can die of serotonin syndrome from taking it. Other than bad interactions it is very safe.

          I know someone whose symptoms resemble yours who is doing well on Adderall, based on a small clinical trial done decades ago by his former psychiatrist. It acts as an antidepressant and also helps with OCD; it shifts the focus to something tolerable. There is a shortage of it now, which makes it hard to get the prescription filled.

          Reply

        • Mehen,

          Thanks for the comment. I am glad to read that it worked for you, too, to some extent.

          >the effect is somewhat akin to a slow turning-up of a dimmer switch on a warm incandescent lightbulb in a dark and creepy cave.

          Yes, that sounds about right. So it could have been SJW indeed. My expectations were quite low and I assumed it was just placebo effect.

          > I’m about to finish my last bottle

          Bottle? Is it extract? I can only find it as dried leaves or capsules here.
          —
          I am prone to both anxiety and depression, too, but I have been able to keep them under control since my early 20s, so I never had to self-medicate or go to a shrink. I am not exactly a ray of sunshine, but I can usually cope. Sometimes I start slipping, but I usually manage to pull myself together.

          However, I have not really managed to get over a burn-out last year, and now I have migraines all the time, suicidal ideation, my social anxiety has gotten a lot worse, difficulties breathing, cannot concentrate, etc. This must be the worst mental health I have been in for more than 20 years. I have a wife and three children and I cannot afford to circle down the drain yet.

          I tried SJW and my mood does seem to have improved. I can breathe better and the migraines are less. Now that I have my mood more under control, I am less anxious around people (crowds are still a problem and don’t expect much small talk from me, but still).

          >Cluster B personality disorder

          Cluster C here. My mom was cluster B, which is why I am now posting about mental illness on an obscure LSWM website.

          There are more and more news about psychedelics re-wiring your brain or whatever. I think it is just another fad from Silicon Valley, but I am willing to give it a shot. I want to try to microdose on psylocibine (legal here), but first I will continue SJW for at least a few more weeks and maybe increase dosage to 600 mg.

          >it might be entirely appropriate that my mind is freaking out about my future

          On a similar vein, I think that, from now on, I will only be able to function in society if I take drugs. My mind is freaking out about my *present*.

          Reply

          • My husband had what his doctor thought were migraine headaches, and he was prescribed some med for them that helped a little but not much. Then I read that a lot of what seem to be migraine headaches are really sinus headaches. After a long and tedious search with experimentation, I found something called “Dr. Christopher’s Sinus Plus.” It contains Brigham Tea Herb (so called because it was used by the Mormons), which is a natural source of ephedra. Ephedra (of some sort) used to be in OTC cough meds, but was taken out, but is still in Dr. Christopher’s (since it is in herb form). It totally gets rid of his headaches.

          • >Bottle? Is it extract? I can only find it as dried leaves or capsules here.

            Tablets. I’m not sure if I mentioned it before but many years ago I first tried SJW in the late 2000s and the recommendation at that time was for the “Perika” brand.

            I only started taking it again due to a thread on a Peat forum raving about a Swiss-made pharmaceutical grade version called “Remotiv”. I tried a a couple of orders of that, but it was only available from eBay from resellers in Australia, so the hassle became too much, so I went back to the Perika version made by “Nature’s Way”

            >I have a wife and three children and I cannot afford to circle down the drain yet

            Ugh. That’s rough. Despite my troubles, I am thankful I don’t have that additional burden around my neck. No offense.

            >There are more and more news about psychedelics re-wiring your brain or whatever. I think it is just another fad from Silicon Valley, but I am willing to give it a shot. I want to try to microdose on psylocibine

            Since I haven’t had easy access to psychedelics for many years now, I have not done the usual “deep dives” I usually do for something I’m currently engaged in. But the last I’ve read online is that there is no good evidence for microdosing psychedelics. The evidence (at least as far as I’ve been exposed to) is that the truly transformative effects happen with a strong dose of shrooms, followed by another strong dose 2 weeks later. This protocol seems to have a long lasting effect. Of course, you will be told this should only be done under the supervision of a professional therapist, yadda yadda, I’m not a doctor, yadda yadda

            >but first I will continue SJW for at least a few more weeks and maybe increase dosage to 600 mg.

            I’m surprised you have experienced beneficial results at 300 mg. On my bottle of Perika the label encourages 3 tablets a day, totaling 900 mg. From my long experience with supplements and supplement companies, the label recommendations are typically UNDERdosed (presumably for liability reasons) and don’t usually reflect the clinical doses found in the literature.

            I would encourage you to quickly increase to 600 mg, and if you feel better on that dose, increase to 900mg. If you start to feel anxiety or rumination at that point, drop back down to 600mg.

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