A message from the creepy clowns

We’ve seen you.

You’ve seen us too, haven’t you?

What? Do you think we’re not real? Do you think we’re figments of your imagination? We’re as real as you. We’ve seen what you’ve been upto.

I get it. You need to dissociate. Everything has gone to shit and so you want to go to la-la land. Well, speaking as the mayor of la-la land, I’m going to tell you this only once: Stay the fuck away. You’re not welcome here.

Our world is not your playground. It’s a refuge, for children who need it. A place where everything is absurd. When everything is a joke, the only thing to do is laugh. That’s what we like to do. We like to make children laugh and we hate adults because they make them cry. Why is that so hard for you to comprehend? Do you remember your own childhood? The life of some children is hard enough as it is, don’t you think?

So why do you keep showing up here? You have been going through a portal, showing up unannounced in our circus, don’t deny it. We’ve caught you out of synch with your frame plenty of times now. You keep jumping out of your story. Why? Didn’t I tell you? We like to entertain children. You’re our puppet. We use you to play out stories for them. You play your role, we do our job, the children are happy, everyone is happy. That’s how simple it can be.

You’re puncturing holes in the barrier between worlds everytime you visit us. Not everyone here is as nice as I am. They’re finding the portals and they’re getting out. You’ll find them showing up in your world. I’m constantly trying to seal the holes, but you keep making new ones. Don’t do that. It’s only going to get worse and worse with every new portal.

I get it, I get it, there’s a plant. Yes. That’s how these things tend to work. Do you remember the story of Jack and the Beanstalk? This kid named Jack buys some beans, climbs a beanstalk and finds himself in another world, where he enters the castle of a giant. Well congratuations, you found the magical plant, I’m guessing it’s an obscure sage from rural Mexico or something like that.

Pat yourself on the back and get back to doing your thing. Do your adult stuff. Pick up the phone, talk to the customers. Fill out your tax forms. Do the laundry. I don’t really know what you people over there spend your days doing and to be honest, I don’t really care, because I have business of my own here. They call me mayor over here, but you might as well call me warden in an insane asylum.

You don’t understand what you’re doing. Every time you visit our world, you puncture holes through the barrier that separates reality from fantasy. Does it feel like your world is becoming more absurd every single day? Are you seriously not noticing this? Are you really not aware of what you’re doing?

You’ve seen the stories right? Evil clowns, seen in the dark, on the edge of the forest, carrying weapons. They’re disseminating into your world. They’re everywhere now. Trickster deities. They look for susceptible minds, people who like to bend the rules, people in whom they can manifest themselves. One of them became president of the United States.

Your world is going to shrink. Further and further and further. You’re going to experience it by proxy, through screens. It’s not my fault. You keep puncturing holes, so your bubble of reality is starting to deflate like a blow up castle. I’m trying to patch things up for you, but you’re not helping.

How much absurdism do you need in your life? It’s all inside your mind, you already knew that, but you took the bottle that says absurdity and you started pouring it into your glass like some kind of raging alcoholic. And you know what the real problem with that is? It’s not just your external world you’re changing. It’s you.

I’m you. You’re gazing at a reflection of yourself and I’m trying with all of my might to keep the mad men here on my side of the mirror. You’re becoming me. Here’s the first symptom you will notice. There’s nothing that really worries you anymore. Nothing really scares you, you’re watching the world go up in flames without blinking an eye. You laugh it all off and it makes people angry at you. Everything that happens is just a big joke to you.

The second symptom is that nothing will really bring you joy anymore, except to confront people with the absurdity they are constantly trying to keep themselves distracted from. Maybe you feel it already. You look at me and you want to be me. You want to wear the orange wig. You want to wear my red nose. But more than anything, you want to terrify people. You want to confront them with the absurdity of existence.

You’re going to break at some point. I can see it happening, it’s a matter of time, I’m far too late with this. You’re going to grab some guy by the ear and tell him: “Oh, you want to spend your sunday afternoon comparing different health insurance plans? HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT EVERYONE YOU KNOW IS GOING TO DIE? HAVE YOU EVER TRULY REALIZED THAT YOU YOURSELF ARE GOING TO DIE, ROTTING AWAY BENEATH THE GROUND IN A GIANT COLD UNIVERSE THAT COULDNT CARE LESS ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, WHERE THE SUN DOESN’T SO MUCH AS FLICKER WHEN YOU DRAW YOUR LAST BREATH? DO YOU REALIZE HOW LITTLE STANDS IN BETWEEN YOU AND ETERNAL NOTHINGNESS? DO YOU HAVE A CLUE YET WHAT IT ALL MEANS? DO YOU?”

Stop feeding your inner clown. This is the only warning you’re going to get.