Advice for the Dutch King

The Dutch king has to throw toilet bowls to entertain Dutch peasants

Something trivial for today. It’s increasingly starting to look like the Dutch monarchy is going to be abolished, with the whole thing ending after Willem Alexander calls it quits. I don’t like this, even though the Dutch king has done nothing to earn my sympathy. I enjoy monarchies, they make the world a more interesting place.

The monarchy is criticized for being unequal. It’s thought that the whole concept of being born as a king doesn’t fit our society anymore. And I agree, but I consider our society to be an attempt at building hell on Earth, so anything that doesn’t fit into our society must have a virtue of sorts. So it is for monarchy. I like monarchy, precisely because it is unequal and unjustifiable.

Unless you think there’s a reason Willem Alexander was born into this position he was born into, the whole thing is fundamentally not justifiable. And with nobody, including Willem Alexander himself, still seriously arguing that human beings are born into a particular womb for reasons beyond our understanding, the whole thing becomes indefensible and bound to die.

The real problem here is that our society has replaced power based on mysticism, with power based on the will of the masses, which we consider reasonable and fair. We still believe that God decides who is destined to reign over a nation, but we have redefined God to mean the general public. And so rather than Willem Alexander’s position being a product of the will of God, it becomes interpreted as an aberration, an obstruction to God’s will.

We’re not going to save the monarchy, unless we get rid of one idea: That everyone is born equal. This is the fundamental error we’re dealing with, an idea we take for granted that nobody can ever prove. It’s clear that none of the people in this country consider pigs to be equal to humans, the people happily shove them into the gas chamber to make money. But when it comes to human beings, as soon as they fall out of the birth canal they’re seen as fundamentally on equal footing. To ask for any sort of justification for this mentality, to ask why we need to treat everyone as equal, enrages people.

As long as Willem Alexander adjusts to this mentality, as long as he continues trying to fit his role into the system, he erodes what little chance he has left of saving the position he inherited. He wants to be a “people’s king”. He doesn’t want to be known as Willem IV. He shows up once a year to participate in some silly games in some village somewhere, but beyond that he mostly wants to enjoy his luxury lifestyle with his family. He pretends he likes the satirical voice-overs people make about him for TV, or worse, he genuinely enjoys being laughed at.

But the more you adjust to the will of the people, the more you start to seem like just another guy to them. And as you start to seem like just another guy, your position becomes increasingly indefensible and irritating to them. We can tolerate people’s power over us, when they genuinely appear powerful to us. When they cease to feel powerful to us, their power over us becomes an annoyance.

The family wants to hold onto their position of privilege, I doubt they genuinely still believe in the myth that gave birth to the monarchy themselves, so they look for other ways to justify their position. And like many powerful and privileged families, they blend in like chameleons, they try to justify their position based on whatever the new dominant ideology happens to be.

If the Americans conquer your country, you’re genius businessmen. If the Soviets conquer your country, you’re just really good at hauling coal out of a mine. In our case, the Dutch royal family is just really good at being woke. The niece of the Dutch king “explained the BLM movement to her parents” and explained “why you really can’t say blue lives matter”.

And of course, as we live in a meritocracy, the Dutch royal family also just happens to be extremely competent. The Dutch heir Amalia had to promise her parents to stop getting such high grades in school, or so we’re told.

So rather than their position being based on God’s divine will, they now try to justify their position based on being woke and good at school. This is a natural human instinct, we generally try to frame our own position as a product of pursuing the values our society endorses.

If you live in a tiny house and ride a bicycle, you don’t tell people it’s because you don’t have any money. You definitely don’t tell them you don’t have any money because you prefer smoking weed over a 40 hour cubicle job. No, you tell them it’s because you value ecological sustainability. And if you’re part of a wealthy powerful family, it’s seductive to tell us it’s because you just happen to be woker and better at getting high grades than the rest of us.

But this doesn’t work in the long run. If you constantly have to make concessions to egalitarianism, the end result will be that your position becomes an unjustifiable eyesore to people. The Dutch monarchs have constantly made such concessions, it now threatens the end of their dynasty.

The only way out of this march towards oblivion, is to reject the fundamental notion that is eroding their position: Equality. You can either endorse people’s egalitarian notions, which will lead you to be seen as a hypocrite clinging onto undeserved wealth, or you can reject egalitarianism.

The reason monarchies work, is because of mysticism. The claim to power has to be based on something that humans can’t prove or disprove, on something we can only believe in. And then the task of the monarch becomes to aid us in sustaining our suspension of disbelief.

If the king acts like he’s an ancient tourist attraction who has to play games with the peasants and whose position is justified based on GDP growth from trade delegations, then the whole thing will die. If, like Elisabeth in the UK, the king acts like he has to suffer under a kind of divine obligation placed upon him, then the monarchy will survive as long as the ocean doesn’t swallow this place.

There’s talk of ending the Dutch monarchy, the Scandinavian monarchies aren’t doing any better. But nobody ever wanted to kick Lizzy out of her throne room. And the reason for that is really really simple: She preserved an aura of mysticism. Like the oldest monarchs in the history books, she was only half human, the other half a mythological being.

Lizzy still had to suffer indignities, the mythological being had to hang out on video with another mythological being (Paddington bear), but that’s the sort of price you pay for having a son who claims he didn’t have sex with a 17 year old because he has a genetic inability to sweat. That’s the sort of scandal that would now immediately end the Dutch monarchy, the British monarchy’s ability to survive that shows how good Lizzy was at her job.

Ultimately, mysticism isn’t just a blunt tool for the monarch to preserve his dynasty however. It’s also the main appeal of monarchy for the general public. We go along with this, because there’s comfort to be had from the idea that we’re not just subject to the dictates of power hungry charismatic climbers. It’s a comforting idea, that a principle as fundamental in life as power is not under human will.

And personally, I don’t mind inequality. What I do mind, is modern meritocratic inequality. It leaves you forever stuck with the haunting idea that if you have the right college degree, if you have sufficient charisma, if you’re willing to lie to the general public and offer promises you can’t keep, then you can rule a nation. What I mind is the “that could’ve been me” model of inequality, which leads to endless competition for status and thus to burnouts and overall misery. I don’t mind the “this is my station in life” model of inequality, which destroys any incentive to overexert yourself.

When we have no way to escape our status as humble proles, then we can at least demand a dignified situation as proles. But in today’s society that doesn’t happen, because if you live as a prole, you’re taught to see it as your own fault: You’re not a member of an oppressed proletariat, you studied the wrong thing in college, you bought the wrong stock, you didn’t work enough overtime.

I’d rather live in a society where I have absolutely zero chance of escaping the factory line, along with everyone else at the factory line, as that means people stop imagining they can escape the mediocrity on their own initiative.

Socialism died once people were led to believe their children could simply get high grades and become doctors and lawyers. And just as the proletariat was taught to stop thinking of itself as born into their situation, the aristocracy was taught to stop thinking of itself as born into theirs.

I want the Dutch king to save his throne, because that means at least the highest most prestigious position in society will not be subject to a zero sum competition among status hungry caffeine addicted corporate climbing narcissists. The prime minister is always just a glorified bureaucrat at the end of the day.


  1. Monarchies are magic because they let everyone in the kingdom be separated by only two degrees of freedom from each other. Even though most people have no real relationship with royalty, their brains don’t know that.

  2. If you haven’t, which I doubt, you must read Ayn Rand. She witnessed the deterioration of reason in that is exhibited by the brain damaged. Her observation was of history. She is not yet confirmed.

  3. Chinese had the notion of the mandate of Heaven. Democracy and Republics will give way to Kings. But not necessarily the good kind. Nor in necessarily a nice way.

    Both revelation and prophecies of the future assumes the return of Kings. But quite different than historical iterations. And Jesus being the God Emperor of all the Kingdoms of the Earth.

  4. It was the year 2050. King Mahmoud of the House of Kumquat was visiting Rotterdam to open a state of the art gender reassignment clinic. Just as he was about to cut the ribbon an angry voice from the crowd shouted, “You lot don’t represent me, you never have!” It was a low status white male. Who knew that such people still existed in modern Europe? The crowd quickly set upon him and kicked his head in which was the right thing to do since he was clearly a racist. Everybody loved the royal family. Not only were they a symbol of tradition, continuity and national unity, they were also *great* for tourism.

  5. So monarchy based on inherited power and authority over people and custom lost its legitimacy in world which do not believe in inheritance, continuation of blood privilege nor validity of historical laws and sacred common beliefs.

    There is alternative to that old monarchic system in semi-democratic setting. Last example of it was Napoleon and his legitimacy gained by superhuman like achievements and perfect marketing materialised in popular referendum fully granting him right to imperial throne and all perks of it.

    His only mistake was being a precursor still mentally stuck in old model of monarchy relying on family (while legitimacy was granted only to his DNA, not his whole, not French to that, bloodline) despite using meritocracy everywhere else.

    A bit similar path was taken by Churchill advancing in ranks through military service. With better results than English hero Cochrane, punished for own brilliance – what was a great choice by fate, as some people simply can’t be fit in just one nation fate container destined to be much greater world movers.

    So modern ruler must be elected by some wise group resembling legit open aristocratic-like meritocratic-like vote or be put on throne by history, that is by great luck or/and great skills.

    He must become hard to chase example for masses. A nearly superhuman hero. Like surviving a few assassinations..

    You must change a lot to keep things the same.

    And becoming part of rot challenging your very existence is the poorest of directions…

    Especially in Holland that cracked own identity by daring to change country name (doesn’t matter if only to leave one organic traditional name). It was killing one name and making it replaceable in future.

    In country which linguists are debating how many dutch languages exist and if there even is one Dutch language (mind blowing in itself), considering a mongrel immigrant dialect as one of Dutch languages (lmao)

    If you make a ground breaking transition between a true organic nation (or a confederacy of few united) into American type antietnic value system you ought to do it consciously and by establishing a new contract, by referendum with a conclusion of what you consider this country be exactly… creating a constitution and making really hard to change in future. And you probably can’t tolerate parasitical underground states with different f.e. old value systems gaining when internal instability escalates (and which I cheer for in Holland to outgrow the ruling cancer sooo much)

    Otherwise it’s drifting with inertia to sure end of disintegration. And it will become by law of habit and custom considered being a new feature blocking any ability to change it as it will become the new gravity law and dogma.

    This monarchy symbolises the country. It will exist as long as nobody will actively oppose the habit of seeing it as part of country symbolics, as part of common truths about Holland.

    The moment when the thought of them not being natural part of picture gets born or one Holland not existing it’s the end.

    They should build their role, create purpose for themselves in this position like bureaucrats create reasons for own existence and workplace to not be fired.

    Like rebuilding link with own nation defending it like own family from mass immigration. Or becoming priests of national religion, even only as guarantors of elections transparency. Or becoming protectors of national legacies like art, purity and unity of language. Or building something monumental to be remembered like buying a land abroad expanding Dutch territories. Or building an army and volunteering to fight in it for these new values worldwide. Even playing themselves in some movies, or defending national interests to irrational level, building brand like Trump.

    Even making a nationwide casting for own royal daughter hand reality show way, letting whole nation participate in it, granted the chosen person will be somehow special adding grandiose to royal family.

    They could also build a mafia. Literally how it works in Southern Italy…

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The patients in the mental ward have had their daily dose of xanax and calmed down it seems, so most of your comments should be automatically posted again. Try not to annoy me with your low IQ low status white male theories about the Nazi gas chambers being fake or CO2 being harmless plant food and we can all get along. Have fun!

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