I’m a guy, with very abstract masculine interests. Relating to people with a very feminine personality inevitably becomes a bit of a struggle for me. It takes a conscious effort for me to avoid completely withdrawing into a world of masculine interests. If I’m into occultism, environmentalism, cooking, fashion, daytrading cryptocurrencies, playing roguelikes, peak oil and transhumanism, the first four of those interests are going to overlap better with people with a more androgynous personality than the last four, which will mostly appeal to hypermasculine personalities. That doesn’t mean the last four are bad, it means I need to make sure they don’t become the totality of my being.
The reason guys who work in IT become lonely is because they find themselves surrounded by other men, so their personalities become very masculine. If all the guys spend every day talking to each other about software exploits and companies that fail to update their infrastructure, they’re going to be left with interests so masculine that they’ll become completely unable to relate to people outside of IT. It’s politically incorrect to say that women find this stuff extremely boring, because the EU’s marketing campaigns will obviously make girls extremely eager to become screen-staring code-moneys, but I don’t want to bother with political correctness.
On the other hand, I’ve been friends with girls who retracted into the feminine world. A Chinese girl I used to hang out with had a make-up blog, where she reviewed make-up products all day long with her friend. That’s an interest so extremely feminine that if it ends up composing a large part of your personality, you’re going to find yourself struggling to relate to guys. You go out with a guy and you spent your whole day reviewing lipstick, what could you possibly have to discuss with him that he could respond to with something meaningful?
Of course as a girl you can choose to devote your whole personality to making yourself look pretty, or as a guy you can devote your whole personality to writing good code and laughing about competing companies that leave the wrong ports open on their network, that’s a choice you can make, but you need to accept the fact that you’re setting yourself up for a life in which it’s going to be difficult to relate to people of the opposite gender. Surprise surprise, both the girl I mentioned earlier and the guys I mention struggle to find someone to spend their days with.
My suggestion here is that in a society where modern technology allows us all to withdraw completely into our own worlds, it’s recommendable for people to take a conscious effort to ensure they maintain the kind of broad personality that allows them to relate to other people.
Tonight when you come home from work, you can open a Reddit link about some IT bug, you can open an instagram page where some girl shares whatever makeup she wears with her outfit, or you can open a wikipedia page and learn about a 17th century French priest infamous for his sexual immorality, who was accused of witchcraft by a group of nuns when he refused to live with them and eventually burned at the stake, only for the exorcist who sought to exorcise the demons of the nuns to become demonically possesed himself and spend the next twenty years of his life in a catatonic state. Whereas the prior two examples fascinate boys and girls, this is something that should interest everyone. If it doesn’t fascinate you, you don’t have a soul and you’re probably beyond redemption anyway.
It’s my opinion, that the whole world benefits from women becoming more masculine. The reason is quite simple: Guys enjoy girls with masculine personalities. Girls on the other hand, think guys with femine personalities are gay and kind of look down on them but will never plainly state so. We live in a society where girls pretend to enjoy playing video games because it attracts guys. How many guys pretend to be into brushing their nails to attract girls?
When feminists insist that women should be able to work in cubicles too, that women should be able to take care of themselves, participate in politics etcetera, they’re implictly suggesting that women should become more masculine. I have zero problems with that, I wish they would just be honest about it. Societies like Sweden, where women can participate in the masculine world of men, have higher birth rates than societies like South Korea and Japan, where women are expected to take on a traditional feminine role.
If it seems like feminists destroy a society, it’s because the feminists in particular still behave like very feminine women. A woman with a masculine personality, who wants to fit into the world of man, won’t stand on a train station with a rose in her hand waiting to kiss the refugees who arrive. To see such a thing, is inevitably psychologically damaging to men, not so much due to any fault of the refugees, but because it signals a rejection of their own people.
The reason that happens in Sweden, rather than among Kurdish women, is because Kurdish women are less feminine than Swedish women. A Kurdish woman has no desire to publicly signal that she prefers another tribe over her own tribe. You might suggest to me that Swedish women are prettier than Kurdish women. Besides personally disagreeing, I will say that skinny blonde blue-eyed girls are unattractive to me, because my mind will forever associate them with the dislike of her own people.
The degree to which our interests are masculine or feminine, will inevitably depend to some degree on the way our brains are wired. Flush the body with estrogen and your interests become feminine. Flush the body with testosterone and your interests become masculine. This isn’t just mere socialization, gender is to some degree intrinsic to our bodies.
We have some control over how our brains are wired. A lot of college girls in the United States are now taking male hormones, because they suffer gender dysphoria. In our society we now have a bizarre neoplatonic interpretation of gender, in which our genders are determined before birth and we are somehow “born into the wrong body”. This is nonsense, in the sense that our brains and our experience of our gender is as much a product of our hormones as the appearance of our body is. Raise your testosterone and you start to feel more like a man, raise your estrogen and you’ll feel more like you’re a woman.
My explanation for the gender dysphoria among American girls is as following: Of course you want to be a boy, because being a girl sucks. It’s bad enough for a man, but even women grow extremely bored by hanging out with other women. Girls want to be “one of the guys”, feed a girl a bit of alcohol, take her out with a bunch of guys and she’ll ramble on endlessly about now feeling like “one of the guys”.
For American girls, taking hormones and becoming a guy or “non-binary”, feels like a way to escape the placid world of girls they grow up in. I’m not a Bible-thumping troglodyte, but I must admit that I think wanting to surgically remove your breasts, cut your hair short and go through life pretending not to have a gender is not a normal psychological condition. One thing that is apparent about this crisis is that it occurs most often among girls who go to girls-only schools. The less guys these girls are exposed to on a daily basis, the more they want to leave the world of femininity behind them.
My suggestion to those girls would be that the gender dysphoria you experience can be addressed in a manner that doesn’t cause irreversible damage to your body. First of all, discard all the expectations society places upon how a woman should behave. You have zero obligations to look pretty, behave chaste, submissive and obedient. When you discard the idea of how a woman should behave, being a woman becomes more bearable.
Then you should seek out guys. “Guys should come to me!” No, that’s nonsense and a recent phenomenon. In the medieval period, men had to struggle to resist the temptations of women. Swallow your pride and seek out guys on your own initiative, even if only for platonic reasons, most guys won’t be offended. Most self-proclaimed feminists are not feminists, because they still try to fit within the feminine gender stereotype. If strong women like Margaret Sanger or Emma Goldman saw today’s hyperfeminine lipstick feminists, they would spontaneously start vomiting.
Consider all the essays by “feminist” women who complain about being asked in public transport what they’re reading. A genuine feminist essay would encourage women to feel comfortable seeking out guys on their own initiative, rather than complaining about guys who seek them out. The most feminist movie I’ve ever seen is American Beauty, because it revolves around a young woman who actively pursues an autistic guy, in spite of her hyperfeminine blonde friend insisting to her he’s a creep.
There are also innate conditions you can treat, that allow you to think more like a man. Women suffer from insecurity and depression at higher rates than men. One reason for this is because men simply have higher testosterone, which leads to confidence. A woman who regularly exercises and who lifts weights, will end up with higher levels of the hormone DHEA, which is an androgenic hormone that’s very important to maintain a woman’s fertility as well as her mental health. Keep in mind: The goal here is not to lose fat, the goal is to have a healthy body that is the epitome of natural vitality.
Finally, some women are naturally blessed, in the sense that they have innately high levels of male hormones. This leads to a large number of beneficial effects. A woman’s fertility is preserved for a longer period, if her male hormones are relatively high. In addition, by having higher levels of androgens, a woman’s sex drive is increased. Many women suffer from a lack of interest in sex, to the inevitable detriment of their relationships. In addition, having higher levels of male hormones gives a woman a more androgynous personality, ensuring that she will find it easier to maintain relationships with men.
How do you recognize such women? One way to recognize such women with higher levels of male hormones is through the simple fact that they have oilier skin. Over the years I came to realize that I have a weak spot for girls with oily skin. I never quite knew why this is. Perhaps their personalities seemed subtly different to me from those of girls with dry skin. If you take a woman with acne and compare her to one without acne of the same age, her levels of DHEA-S are the equivalent of being years younger. To raise menopausal women’s libido, doctors give them supplemental DHEA, to raise their levels of DHEA and DHEA-S to levels more similar to those of young women.
If your body suffer from inflammation, in addition to oily skin, you’ll be prone to pimples. Inflammation however is relatively simple to address and in people less prone to inflammation, the oily skin will express itself in the form of blackheads instead. You can’t really do anything about having oily skin (nor should you want to), but you can do something about inflammation. Take high doses of vitamin D, exercise regularly to keep your blood sugar at healthy levels and go out into the sun a lot and you won’t suffer inflammation.
What are some other things a woman can do to avoid hyperfemininity? Many of the plants we eat, have the effect of suppressing hyperfemininity. When we eat white button mushrooms, substances found in these mushrooms prevent the conversion of androgens into estrogens. As a result, your DHEA and other androgenic hormones will build up to higher levels. It’s known that women who regularly eat white button mushrooms have a much lower risk of breast cancer for this reason. In addition, such a woman will delay the onset of menopause.
As a species, we’re currently in the process of shaking off our self-imposed hyperfemininity. This is a difficult process. We’ve lived for centuries in societies where most people’s marriages were essentially arranged for them and a few powerful men picked the prettiest women they could find. Repeat this over a hundred generations and you end up with a young woman who spends her days obsessively removing every blemish she can find on her face, unless you live in the isolated mountains of Kurdistan.
Today we’re liberated from this tragedy, but we’re not yet prepared for the freedom we now have. The woman still fantasizes about the prince on the white horse whose head was severed under the guillotine. The men still place expectations on the women that benefit neither men nor women. To some degree we can influence this ourselves, to some degree this is genetically intrinsic to us. Some women’s brains might really be hardwired into spending their whole days brushing up their faces. Some men might really be hardwired to yearn for a woman who raises the pitch of her voice whenever she talks to him. We will have to work with the reality we live in, rather than denying it.
We’re currently in the process of evolving away from the hyperfemininity we had imposed on us. Go to Turkey and you will find that the emancipated Kurdish women have more children than the Turkish women. Go to Japan and the women who mingle with guys will be more likely to marry and have children than the women who spend their days living in a feminine bubble. We’re part of a generation for whom it’s a struggle, a painful struggle. A society like Japan, where a lot of people claim to have no desire to start a relationship, is a society where people suffer. But this is the backlash we receive from generations of strict gender segregation and arranged marriages.
We’re going to benefit from it, when the transition period is over. The reward will be great. How can you love someone, if you can’t relate to them? If you live in a world of object-oriented PHP and she lives in a world of horses or makeup artistry, how are the two of you going to interact? Is it any shock that we witness generations of men and women who spend every day staring at the TV together? Is it any shock that Japanese marriages fall apart when the men retire from work and finally have to be in the same room as their wives for more than a few hours at a time?
The long-term end game we are reaching for, is complete liberation from traditional gender norms, in the manner envisioned by dissident Bolshevik Alexandra Kollontai, a woman who voluntarily renounced her noble privileges to marry a poor man she fell in love with. A woman will be able to enter into relationships with multiple men simultaneously, with the consent of all involved. She will not carry a stigma for maintaining multiple relationships, she will feel no guilt or unease about the fact. In parts of the Amazon rainforest, most tribes believe that children have multiple fathers. The women seek out multiple men in the tribe. This is the natural state of mankind, the way people lived before the Neolithic revolution. It is also what makes people of both genders happiest.
I will leave you, with the image of a beautiful young girl, from an era when the word “feminism” still meant feminism. This is what a happy girl looks like. A girl who grows up like this is a girl who will be able to genuinely relate to how boys think. She will not be afraid of boys and she will not imagine there must be a rapist behind every corner, because she grew up playing with boys and learned to understand how they think and how they communicate. When she is an adult, she will not find men who provide for her, nor will she yearn for such men. She will find soulmates.