I understand if none of this matters to you, but I don’t wish to just disappear into the void without anyone having any clue as to what happened, so here’s an update.
My blood has been tested on just about everything you can think of, there are no deficiencies, no inflammation, nothing even remotely abnormal. There’s no hemoglobin deficiency, no vitamin B12 deficiency, nothing. The doc says he wishes he had my blood values.
I ate some cheese for the first time in years, but I can’t quite get myself to expand beyond that yet. I doubt there are any ex-vegans who think to themselves “you know what, factory farms are actually cool”. All that happens is that you still live with the knowledge, but lost faith in the proposed solution.
I really wish there was an easy answer, like the universe would just reveal to us all what we’re supposed to eat. You might argue veganism is the moral option, but morality becomes a prison when taken to its natural conclusion. Eating chocolate is not exactly moral either, nor is driving a car or just about anything else we humans do. You’ll turn your life into hell by trying to do the “right thing”.
I suppose there is some good news though. The Haloperidol I was receiving triggers depression, but I’m now switching to a different medication, Aripiprazole, which is antidepressant. I hope this allows me to somewhat function again. When you’re forced to take Haloperidol, it’s hell on Earth. Everything you used to enjoy suddenly becomes unenjoyable. It makes you just want to lay in bed all day, doing nothing.
The world, I will admit, has lost its magic to me. I used to be able to entertain myself quite well with a bunch of nonsense. A found footage horror movie, some vaporwave music compilation, these were things I found entertaining. But now I’ve reached the point, where everything feels like a variation of something I already know.
This is part of growing old, but I don’t like to grow old. I wish I could be a child again, unburdened by all the things I’ve learned since then.
Just eat a bunch of butter, if you haven’t. Just try it. And kefir, mango or strawberry flavour
Wild salmon also, they’re doomed to die anyway
I really wish you well. As you know, the blood values are not the full story
Second on the blood values. Bioavailability is a thing, and blood markers are the average of a population that went to see a doctor (weighted towards sickness). Individuals will necessarily vary widely.
Radagast, it has got to be WILD. I think it is early for salmon season. Please try wild fresh herring or sardines or spanish mackerel. NO canned. Just simmer it lightly in a bit of water. No sushi, they always freeze sushi. It will be an epiphany. “Fish oil” pills have no effect on brain, at least to me.
I wish you well too! I think you are on a good track.
> This is part of growing old, but I don’t like to grow old. I wish I could be a child again, unburdened by all the things I’ve learned since then.
^This is another reason why we have kids, and why raising them is anti-depressant.
(it is a general comment on modern life, not personal criticism)
I thought this too.
The other eacape is a perfect match (!) woman (or man) who has the same soul.
I see no other model. Any other way leads to troubles. Either in relationships, loneliness, economic troubles, ticks and bad habits etc.
There are some few guys (and rare women), who out of their own are perfectly able to be alone (with or without close friends, family, neighbors…) Many women are or think they are ugly and choose solitude, but I don’t mean them. We all know one or two of these guys. And the author of this perfectly cromulent blog is not one of them.
À propos, I expect no updates in the near future. But in some weeks or months. I suspect there is something happening. Something weird and scary.
Apollo speaks wise words, Ratty. Continuation – be a part of it.
“This is another reason why we have kids, and why raising them is anti-depressant.”
I’ve known loads and loads of depressed women with kids; it is quite horrible for them and for the kids. And I have literally never met a woman who went from depressed pre-kid to un-depressed after-kid. Maybe this is some sort of guy thing, though I haven’t seen it with guys, either. I think happy people who have kids just assume that their kids made them happy, but in fact they were already happy. It’s okay to have kids, but it is not good to have false expectations.
Oh! maybe my comment doesn’t apply to some situations (e.g. the medical definition of “depression”).
But maybe it applies to “midlife crisis”, when people get closer to their thirties.
I just notice that people really need to give.
It doesn’t have to be through kids, true.
But kids seem to be the most attractive “investment”. You give a lot, but you get back a lot more. Like, things are revealed to you.
Obviously, one needs to find a good partner.
With all that said, I think there is a correlation between population decline and a rise in the number of therapists per capita.
Have you tried watching and identifying birds yet? It calms my mind.
>>The world, I will admit, has lost its magic to me. This is part of growing old, but I don’t like to grow old.
Feel you.
I’m surprised Rintrah has been taking synthetic pharmaceuticals as opposed to natural plants and mushrooms. Maybe he’s become expert at such mind altering substances as he’s told us about over the years because he sensed some kind of wave of panic would arise within him one day.
It almost sounds like the sea change of adolescence but he’s physically way past that.
The sea change of adolescence is nothing compared to the existential anguish of approaching middle age.
Rintrah’s not “taking” pharmaceuticals; he’s been “administered” pharmaceuticals due to a crisis. It takes a while afterwards to wean off of them and maybe switch to something else. His mind was unsettled either due to genes or his diet or the non-pharmaceuticals he’s been taking. The trick is to figure out the cause and then come up with either a proper diet (if that is the thing) or with substances that tamp things down just enough without causing a new problem.
You’ll get there, don’t worry. We all believe in you. Dips and reservations are inevitable.
You should definitely move to the country, it can heal you in ways you cant even imaginne. Also, try being an ethical vegetarian. Move somewhere where you have access to happy cows and chickens and can grow or have access to your own trees and plants This is how most humans up to the last 100 years have thrived.
I had taken some meds to sleep better in 2023 and one of them would give me amnesia from the time I took it to when I fell asleep. Basically, little to no higher function for 2 hours… It’s surprising how much we are driven by our habits and tendencies.
I think the rate of amnesia for that med was around 0.5%, so it’s best to look at all the side effects to get the best one for you.
Thanks for posting an update, hopefully the brighter longer warmer days will boost your mood. Eurovision and Summer are almost here.
> I doubt there are any ex-vegans who think to themselves “you know what, factory farms are actually cool”.
> I really wish there was an easy answer, like the universe would just reveal to us all what we’re supposed to eat.
EAT VENISON.
You’ve acknowledged that the Netherlands has a big problem with deer and wild boar overpopulation. These animals MUST be culled periodically in order to protect the wider ecosystem.
They don’t suffer on factory farms, they live a pretty good life. You don’t have to feel guilty about eating these animals. I’m pretty sure I remember you writing in an old post about how when you die you would like to be consumed by vultures.
I went through the same thing – going to the doctor and getting every blood test in the book. This was on a Paleo diet with a fantastic sleep and workout routine. I was totally healthy but mentally still fucked. Suicidal and depressed. Every test was perfect. Went to therapy I afterwards.
It took 15 more years to get diagnosed with BPD. Therapy for BPD was essentially useless compared to the insights delivered by ayahuasca.
If the diet path is a dead end I would strongly recommend Aya
Good luck.
Supplements that keep me steady: Magnesium Threonate, 1mg lithium, NAC, L-citrulline
<3
Well, of course everything seems flat. You are on an antipsychotic. Haldol is ridiculous; you should have been given quetiapine after discharge to use only as needed. I doubt the Abilify will do the trick, but it is worth trying and won’t hurt you if you don’t use it long term. There is a great website called askapatient; it is worth looking at when you are prescribed something unfamiliar.
You don’t have to dive into eating all sorts of animal products. Skip the dairy for now. For a month or two, eat mussels and pasture raised eggs along with vegan food. At that point you can decide if you want to add fish or culled wild animals.
Be patient. You’ll feel better, but it will take time.
Quetiapine, also an antipsychotic, is what was giving me amnesia.
Fuck all antipsychotics, and the longer you use them the harder it will be to stop using them. Past the acute stage of psychosis you can try stopping them.
Yes, that is right. But some people can feel the psychosis coming back and go back to taking some temporarily in order to stave off a crisis. There are lots of reasons to avoid taking them at all if possible, or if they are sometimes necessary, to take them as briefly as possible (including tardive dyskinesia and diabetes and the characteristic gait). But if you can tell you are going down it is a lot better to take them for a few days than to reach a crisis state again. Anyway, maybe none of this is relevant to Rintrah; maybe proper nutrition and a change in habits will be enough for him; he’ll be able to tell.
Oysters
Limpets are univalve and therefore not subject to toxic algae poisoning, unlike bivalve shellfish.
I like oysters and SMOKED SALMON, need to find me a supply of wild limpets.
You hear me, Rintrah?
SMOKED SALMON is the stuff!
Rintrah, good to hear you are doing relatively well, considering the recent events.
It is possible that all the supplements and mind-altering substances you were taking messed up your brain in some way. It is okay to feel a little down and to take things slow. I do not think that more brain stimulants is the answer.
Try to get out some, get some sun exposure, go shopping in person, etc.
Get well quick man! Best wishes to my bestie
Thanks!
haloperidol has lots of side effects, but it is strong and effective. Maybe you were pretty bad off when you came in. You should like aripiprazole much better and not be hungry all the time! kareninca mentioned quetiapine, that is even nicer but weaker, good choice when you are ready.
There’s currently a heated internet debate raging about the hypothetical fight between 100 humans versus one vegan gorilla in hand to hand combat.
Most people are betting on the vegan gorilla to emerge victorious with his superior strength.
The Gorilla would lose from exhaustion and being dogpiled, the humans easily out mass it.
Gorillas are beautiful and noble.
Boomers hate anime and video games.
I’m gonna go smoke a cigar. I fucking love tobacco.
You’re retarded, but you clearly have a spark of sanity inside you that just needs to be nurtured. I’m rooting for you.
Yay, the low IQ furry bugchashing Queen who probably wants to suck Andrew Tate’s cock cares about my sanity, thanks buddy. I know with your support behind me all suffering can be overcome. Would you let me shoot my load up your boycunt like you would your favorite Red Pill guru if I asked? That wasn’t a real offer btw, I don’t want AIDS or whatever other strange diseases you got being a knuckledragging Baltic scavenger who exists to be raped repeatably by every passerby when actual conflict arises. Do you lose your anal virginity at a furry convention? Did your rapist catch you because girls and dogs ran too fast?
The sexual practice among the subhuman are very disconcerting in my opinion. Your avatar, a clownish cartoon caricature mockery of something naturally beautiful and powerful is very appropriate as a representation of your soul.
Have to agree.
The gorilla wouldn’t stand a chance.
The gorilla has to eat its own shit to survive, because the plants it eats don’t get digested the first time round.
BTW, this is why veganism doesn’t work for the overwhelming vast majority of humans. We don’t have a redigestion mechanism like herbivores due (multiple stomachs, very long digestive tracts, cecatropes, etc).
humans have access to much more different foods than herbivores in the wild and can extend the length of their digestion system via extern fermentation. you are talking out of your ass chatgpt derivate..now clap your hands for the guy who avoids covid like the plague but takes diabetes inducing “medicine” for healing. great cabaret this blog is..
Tacking on an irrelevant complaint about how a person handles his or her health is not classy, and contributes nothing to your argument. If you can’t convince on the points under consideration, you aren’t convincing.
what would a chatgpt training ground be without a real troll. nothing! btw..i know people on dis-abilify, seroquel and zyprexa..they are fat and useless wierdos now. my trolling is more helpful than your constant shilling for obscure treatments chatgpt derivate.
The trolling is boring. It wastes time that could be spent looking for info.
I know plenty of people on those meds and yes, if you take them long term they cause real problems. That is not a secret.
You didn’t address or refute the studies I posted about methylene blue. You claimed it was a pharma product which is strange since there is no money in it; that is the problem with pharma drugs. And you added on some paranoid stuff, and irrelevant stuff, which made it look like your posts were ChatGPT; I’ll be charitable and assume not.
especially you are obviously chatgpt. everthing you say is shit that you try to back up with shit. 90 percent of bioscience and pharma is not reproducible..and you proudly wave around those toiletscience papers to look serious. take a sunbath and turn your skin into a singulett-oxygen factory, because its so healthy and “antioxidant”..doesnt matter since youre not real anyway.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zA52uNzx7Y4
I don’t even know how to use ChatGPT; I only bought a smart phone a few years ago. I can find studies well enough on my own by using search engines.
Yes, it is well known that most lab studies are not reproducible. Also a lot of studies out of China are just made up (not that American ones are necessarily any good).. So what do you use instead? Your sheer brainpower? That is fine, but you haven’t used that wondrous power to refute the studies I posted. Just saying that they are pharma garbage is lazy and doesn’t add anything. How is it that you know that choline is likely good, as you assert, without referring to a study?
you dont need much brain power to see the discrepancy between antioxidant AND gluthatione depletion at the same time. organic chemistry works with established rules that give you the power to extrapolate a lot of things, like the impossibility of healthy unsaturated fatty acids. they sell walnut oil as healthy to the public and on the other hand the same oil to painters for its easy polymerisation..almost anything that comes up now as healthy is just a psyop to kill you off and you my virtual friend are part of this. regarding MB..has been known for hundred years and researched to the core, if it was that great we would have known already. its all about to trick the nikkers to use favism triggering substances, otherwise those countless advisers(thats you) would lay bare its toxic propertys to that part of the population wich is what they never do..
I’d never seen mention of the favism problem, but it does seem to be true (per a study I’ve found). The person in the study was Qatari, not black. Per ScienceDirect, “The enzyme deficiency is a genetic disorder that is confined largely to inhabitants of countries surrounding the Mediterranean basin (Italy, Sicily, Lebanon, Israel, and north Africa)”. So it looks like more of a Middle Eastern thing than a black person thing.
regarding choline: its a short rodlike molekule with polar ends thats capable of hydrogen bonding with amino-groups on aminoacids, so i assumed it could stabilize or lock the conformation of spike protein via inserting between its pockets acting like glue. playing lego in the head..after a little google search..voila..choline does the trick. its no joke that chickenmeat and eggs are helpful against viruses because of choline and cysteine content. thats not new and has been proven for ages.
@betaalpha and @kareninca, chemistry, biology, science… There are all kinds of information out there mostly contradicting each other. I do know that you can’t go wrong with what is tried and true. There are plenty of studies saying sun and vit D is good, betaalpha says it’s bad. Well, I grew up on mountains and was lucky enough to see how old people lived and they lived long. Many of them lost their kids in their 60s. My grandmothers lived into her late 80s and 90s. They were healthy until they started eating the diets that their grandkids wanted (sugar, processed food, store bought bread etc). Who knows how long they would have lived if they stayed on their original diet. Grandmother who lived into her late 90s w/o taking any pharma drugs ate butter, grass-fed, beef, pasture raised chicken. No added sugar, no jams, no fish, no coffee, no olive oil as it’s too cold there for olive trees. Plenty of sourdough bread, slow aged cheese, lots of fermented cabbage and other veggies, lots of onions. Her parents lived very long too. They were walking and working in the field under the sun without hat. Plenty of sun, yet no cancer. Their grandkid and kids got internal cancers. I understand that the environment and food was cleaner when they grew up but one thing, I noticed is that shepherds were/are very healthy there. They do not know what sunscreen is to this day. We have evolved being under the sun how is it bad now? Of course, I am not talking burning your skin- the village people year around had a tan and saturated fat probably helped them not to burn. So my science degree (papers, texbooks, professors) are telling one story but what I saw with my own eyes was different. Not everyone can handle only plant-based diet, my father’s side has oxalate issues, kidney stones, diabetes etc. All that fermented food my grandma made, and I am talking huge amounts, did not help my dad and one of her siblings who had oxalate sensitivity and loved salt and sugar unlike their mother. As for lipofuscin, why not take and/or cook with olive leaf, turmeric, ginger, rosemary, rock rose, and so many other herbs daily in rotation? I do not know what MB does in the body but I used it in the lab.
I agree that traditional foods can be most healthful in the ordinary course of things. But the question is what to do about covid spike protein reservoirs, including in the brain, which accelerate Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s and very possible prion disease. Our ancestors did not have to deal with a Wuhan lab leak.
Personally we (my husband and I) do intermittent fasting, walking 3-6 miles most of the days especially if it’s sunny. Healthy eating-no processed foods, we try to buy as much local as possible, home made-bread-I switched to eincorn and millet, home-cooked food, sprouts, only steel-cut oatmeal. Legumes- I soak them for +8 hours and change the water couple of times and then soak another 24 hours in the fridge, then I cook them well- no gas or bloating. We take olive leave every day, I grind and fill the capsules, rock rose tea daily/frequently as an antioxidant and biofilm disruptor, we use turmeric/black pepper in cooking, and I rotate different herbs either in the tea form or capsule form. Fermented foods. We had COVID twice and I have not noticed and cognitive issues. For me I think answer is fasting, sunlight, light exercise, healthy eating and herbs. I employ my grandma’s cooking/eating habits as much as I can as those were the habits of bunch of other folks from her time who lived a long healthy life. I’m sure COVID caused a damage(s) in us that we will show up at some point in future. It’s a terrible bioweapon, best to avoid/minimize it.
> When you’re forced to take Haloperidol, it’s hell on Earth. Everything you used to enjoy suddenly becomes unenjoyable. It makes you just want to lay in bed all day, doing nothing.
Brother, all the antipsychotics have this emotion numbing effect. Hope you can stop taking them.
>The Haloperidol I was receiving triggers depression, but I’m now switching to a different medication, Aripiprazole, which is antidepressant.
Rintrah, I won’t presume to understand that which ails you, I can only offer my own experience.
From a young age, before I had any understanding of my mental illness, I thought I was, at various times, “depressed,” “anxious”, “socially phobic,” etc. etc.
As a consequence, I had been prescribed nearly a dozen pharmaceuticals to treat my condition (from various categories.)
SSRIs: Serzone, Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft
MAOIs: Nardil, Parnate
Tricyclics: Amitriptyline
(Some other SNRI I can’t remember at the moment)
None of these really did much for me. Some were better than others, but mostly “meh”
Anyway, your mention of Aripiprazole brought back a memory.
Years ago (the last time I took pharmaceuticals) I was taking Lexapro, which was also “meh”
I was being treated at a “research hospital” in my area, closely related to a near university.
I had apparently been “given” to a young student/resident who I was obviously more intelligent than. The attending doctor then added Aripiprazole/Abilify to my Lexapro.
It was like a rose blossomed in my brain. I had no anticipation of what was to happen, but I ended up feeling COMPLETELY REBORN. For about two weeks, my mind and “heart” were on fire. I spoke to relatives apologizing to them for emotional distance, and explaining to them that I now felt love in my heart for all of them, and that I now felt I was on a “new course” and that I would no longer be the weird “black sheep” of my family. I was sleeping only 5 hours a night during this time, it felt like a low-dose MDMA trip the whole time — you know, that feeling you get when the MDMA starts kicking in, but not fully catapulted into the “other world” Just a gentle feeling of well-being and love for one’s fellow man. I even did something that I never do: I impulsively flew down to Central America and rented a car to drive out to the coast of Costa Rica to visit an old friend who I hadn’t seen for many years. I would NEVER have done something so “reckless” otherwise.
I felt reborn.
Then it went away.
Never to be felt again.
Back to the usual Lexapro “meh”
The next time I checked in at the hospital, the resident diagnosed me as “bipolar”. I was flabbergasted. I explained to the young female that I had never had an experience like this, that all my life my experience could be considered “unipolar depression”, and that this experience only happened after I started taking the Abilify along with the Lexapro.
We argued a bit, until she called the attending doctor in.
Rad, I have a suspicion you understand the peculiar and unique mental anguish that happens when an older, more intelligent man must bow his head and defer to some bimbo “head girl” functionary who only knows how to follow orders.
Thankfully, the doctor came in and listened to my argument. The poor guy had to draw a graph, with the “curve” of my mental state, suddenly changing at the point the Abilify was introduced. And asked me to agree that the state change occured after the Abilify. Once I CLEARLY explained it all, he finally agreed and told the dumb bimbo that I am not necessarily Bipolar, but that the Abilify was the instigating event (DUH)
Here’s the kicker: several years later when I was no longer working for a corporation with good health benefits, I tried to sign up for private insurance through Obamacare.
I got several calls from aggressive (and BLACK) functionaries demanding to know about that brief stint with Abilify several years prior.
Apparently it is a very expensive drug, and insurance companies are reluctant to cover individuals who have had a “need” for it in the past.
I never did get that insurance, so I have been living insurance-free since the early days of the Plandemic. It’s all a fucking RACKET
I’m not sure where I was going with this. Just wanted to share my experience with you.
Anyway, I hope you somehow manage to even out your wobbly flight path into something stable.
All of us here value you in various ways
Why the hell does JMG never comment here??
Does he think his shit doesn’t stink?
Or is there some other reason?
I’d be more interested in hearing an update from Geert.
Because I doubt JMG has much in the way of scientific insight to offer on this subject.
The rest of us can speculate away, but people who can provide ‘primary’ scientific insights like our man Rintrah and Geert are the sources that everyone else extrapolates from.
>Because I doubt JMG has much in the way of scientific insight to offer on this subject.
JMG has much wisdom about Life, purportedly
He doesn’t have the right kind of smarts to predict what’ll happen next with the virus though – lots of people have opinions, but there aren’t many people who’re able to do that, and that’s what makes those who can so interesting.
And I’m still interested in what’s likely to happen on that score.
https://twitter.com/the4thwayyt/status/1917648586159907276?s=46
Rotting with a single identity
Hey Rintrah,
25 years of experience provider here. Being confronted with the toughest of problems on a daily basis, I thought I’d offer some suggestions on how you might get better.
First, your blood work is all good! That tells me a fix might be quicker than you think.
First thing I would do is seek out your most experienced Chinese Medicine provider in your area. They should have a minimum of 15 yrs of experience and here’s the big tip – make sure they are proficient in Chinese herbs and even better if they are Chinese. You’d be surprised what acupuncture and Chinese herbal therapy can do for you!
Next, find out your blood type! The Blood Type Diet is far and away the best diet to follow. Once you know if you are A,B,AB, or O, go to the app store. Search ‘Blood Type Diet’ and download the app. The official app usually is the first one that comes up and costs $3.99.
Pretty sure if you do these things now, you’ll be feeling your normal self by the time the northern European hot weather hits.
Best
It’s good with vegetarianism, don’t go to the extreme with veganism.
Eat more HERBS, and more sunlight.
+ Synthetic pharmaceuticals are only for emergency, the more you use them the worse it’ll get in the long term (pharmakeia = sorcery).
+ Herbs have lots of medicinal values of which modern medical system is so illiterate. Having herbs daily is one crucial key for health.
Keep at it mate, you’ll get there.
We all realise things are shit for you rn and we’re all right here cheering you on and trying to help the best we can. If there’s anything you need us to do, let us know.
Thanks
Goals:
Get off pharma
Productive vocation earning money
Rational female companionship/partnership
Children/family
Mediocre life punctuated by moments of irreplaceable joy.
No time for depression.
Moderate happiness, that will take you through a life that you will want to extend as far as you can.
What the hell? Is that really terrible?
>Productive vocation earning money
Heh.
How to do this without becoming a member of the Borg…
Hmmm
Find a niche what to do. Try to survive the long winter in hope for a new spring.
In the mean time become a grey man (invisible). Check quietly out of society and let it rot.
Speaking to strangers: Smile, nod and agree to whatever they say. Family prospect in your situation is much too much. Healing is priority. Monk mode.
Funnily enough, suicide rates are highest in the spring/early summer months.
A typo I presume
for vacation
Far better than being slaughtered at 20 something years old in the plains of Ukraine for “freedom”.
It’s good to hear from you.
I still think being part of some kind of social circle, doing more work / getting a job, would fix a lot of the problems. After all, if we’re talking about mental / anxiety / depression, a lot of that is social in nature (that’s how it was for me).
However, you’re still recovering, so the best thing to do is to take it easy and make changes gradually, not suddenly. I think as long as you make a little bit of progress each day you’ll be alright.
Yeah you’re right. I try to be part of more social circles.
dis-abilify makes you fat and gay in a year.
I read the average is 7%. Honestly that wouldn’t be a problem for me. Why would it make you gay?
first rule of drug use: look how it works in others…what you read is just advertisment and irrelevant.
I think that when people feel strong anxiety or tension, they tend to try to feel reassured by viewing the world they are facing as something they already know. As the anxiety and tension subside, I think that they will be able to feel the richness and dynamism of the world again.
I understand. I reached the same point. The meaningless of life. In the world be you have to man up and give your life a purpose. This guy has helped me a lot, maybe he can help you: https://m.youtube.com/@vishrant
A bit of light humour:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GBEo8LjoErk&pp=0gcJCdgAo7VqN5tD
>A bit of light humour:
Lol.
@wombat, @karen
Cackle!
I was recently asked by the coach at a corporate ‘leadership’ course what I hoped to gain from the session. I explained that at my stage of life everything good was already behind me, that what remained would get progressively worse until the worst of all happened, so I expected to gain nothing.
I was told to be grateful, make a list of things I’m good at, and to bring joy to colleagues.
So, there’s some good news Mehen.
Satan isn’t done with us yet!
“Well I tried veganism and it makes me depressed!” Good. When you are depressed you are healing the world, as opposed to consuming it.
—–
The previous statement was you almost a month ago; have you considered you’re subconsciously drowning in your own shit?
If you really know anything about meditation, and you feel these are truly dark times, this is it—this is when you ought to shine.
Do you have any root canals? Those can become infected within with no outward sign, causing the body to have massive problems. There’s a really poorly made documentary about it: Root Cause. Check it out.
@betaalpha
whats your take on MK677?
snort as much as you can…use it in a klistier for your virtual butt…vaporize it. life is short! if you are real: if it grows your muscles it enlarges your heart, your desicion.
it has only enlarged my D so far, but thank you for your kind words.
you risk your life for having a fat dick? pay a prostitute instead..they dont judge.
Im not retarded enough to take SARMs yet, not worries. Was just curious about this one, cause it keeps popping up in 4chan biohacking threads.
@ RADAGAST. Would you please do me a favour? since im working so hard to train your botarmy to walk that thin line between sarcasm and dadaism, i would appreciate it if you download this sexy electronic G.I.L.F smurfette kareninca avatar into some advanced chinese sexbot, so that i can insert my micropenis into her silicium vagene. maybe some titanium nitride coating wouldnt hurt to save lubricant..or you could tranfer some money to my account. if you are puzzled if im friend or foe..im definitely onboard with fucking up this disgusting zombie-vampire conglomerate of ?billion useless ones. have a nice day!
Dear Rinthra,
just hang on! Can tell you from my own experience (am 54 now) that life gets better and better, the older you get – so just hang on, you’re doing a great job! And keep being committed to truth – it may be tough at times and hurts in the beginning, but its the way to freedom and happiness – good luck!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1C_nCLrA1wg
Best
Erik
Thanks Erik!
Alpacas. Beef. Eggs. Butter. Oysters. Sun your balls and asshole in a public park. More Beef.
My 2 cents: get off all pharma meds ASAP. Start tapering. At the same time, get as much natural outdoor sunlight as humanly possibly and don’t be a retard and slather toxic sunscreen on yourself. Some all natural mineral based stuff only if you are starting to roast. Get well soon.
This is not going to be a positive, “get well soon”-comment but I believe it to be the truth.
Some people have stated that you are suffering some kind of spiritual ailment. It maybe truly be something of the sort, but rather than a deficit, I think you are actually closer to true enlightenment.
Tryptie’s IQ, based on the quality of his writing, is probably 20 or 30 points higher than mine. He is able to think about and express ideas with a clarity I could only dream of having. And yet, here he is, every blog post spouting about his utterly farcical spirituality. To everyone who isn’t Tryptie, these ideas sound like they might as well have been drooled out of a retard’s mouth in the back room of a sanitarium after a particularly vigorous head-bashing session. They are utter crap. He is way smarter than me, and yet his worldview is just nonsense.
I don’t think the brain is fundamentally evolved to reason about everything in an accurate way. The “cognitive revolution” in human evolution that might have come about to help us be more efficient hunters or whatever accidentally ended up breaking us out of the matrix. It gave us capacity to understand how pointless, cruel, and evil life is. We can see that survival is predicated on the suffering of other beings, and more beings are still yet slaughtered for no good reason at all. Infants and toddlers are thrown away in dumpsters, raped, and decapitated every day on this planet. If you apply your unobstructed faculties for reason towards existence on this earth, it becomes something you can’t tolerate because it is so fundamentally awful. So evolution had to pump the breaks on our reasoning ability and inserted some very selective irrationality, so that we as a species can apply precise logic when it comes to solving concrete problems, but still believe utter batshit at other times.
Enlightenment means coming to terms with this reality, that we actually do live in a materialist realm and that these magical fantasies are no more than our brains doing what evolution hammered into them to prevent total ego collapse. Sorry Tryptie, turns out you were the hylic all along. Why do people say looking at yourself in a mirror during a psychedelic trip can be so scary? Because perceiving reality, and worse, yourself, without these protective walls have been lowered is absolutely terrifying. When you truly understand how things are, it makes you feel the pointlessness of it all, and losing your zeal for life is just about inevitable. It is my sincerely held honest belief that suicide is true enlightenment.
“It is my sincerely held honest belief that suicide is true enlightenment.”
That is moronic. We will all be dead soon enough; there is no advantage to speed in this. It also does not follow from what you have written; not logically and not spiritually.
Also, you are making all sorts of assumptions about the nature of reality that you can’t prove. Your assertions are just as speculative as Tryptie’s.
>That is moronic. We will all be dead soon enough;
True
> there is no advantage to speed in this.
This is an Individual Matter
Yeah, not only is it moronic on the part of anyone who listens to this advice and goes through with it, but is completely demonic to actually encourage someone to commit suicide by somehow suggesting that it is a path that leads to enlightenment.
News flash: If you ended up in a mental institution and are voluntary taking anti-psychotics, you are not enlightened! Committing suicide does not free you from the cage, it just deepens your enslavement, and you will be back again with even worse problems then you had before.
Yes, it is demonic.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Messiah
I already read this one myself a while ago.
@forestgump..your daddy impregnated your mother on a carpet full of BISPHENOL-A wich was also your infant playground? get over it!
Looking at myself in the mirror after taking shrooms is quite pleasant in my experience. It’s good to be man.
Anyway
>Blah blah blah, I know Tryptie is smarter than me but I’m going to call her ideas retarded anyway because I’m too braindead to put them together.
You should take a huge dose of DMT, keep doing this until you get raped by aliens. Happens to plenty of people.
https://www.reddit.com/r/DMT/comments/18bzch1/anally_raped_by_alligators/
>Yes, this is perfectly normal. I am a normal person. This is meaningless, it’s a hallucination. I will not think about this further. It’s just a drug.
>When I was first going under there were these insect creatures all around me. They were clearly trying to break through. I was fighting letting go of who I am or was. The more I fought, the more demonic they became, Probing into my psyche and being. I finally started letting go of parts of myself, as I could no longer keep so much of me together. As I did, I still clung to the idea that all was God, and that God was Love, and I was giving myself up to God and God’s love because I was certain I was dying. As I accepted my death and dissolution into God’s love, the insectoids began to feed on my heart, devouring the feelings of love and surrender.
Heh heh heh heh heh
(Read “The Trickster And The Paranormal”)
Heh heh heh heh
Now this is what it’s like when worlds collide
Now this is what it’s like
Now this is what it’s like when worlds collide
Now this is what it’s like
What is it really, that’s goin’ on here?
You’ve got the system for total control
Now is there anybody out there?
Now watch us suffer, yeah, ’cause we can’t go
What is it really that is in your head?
What little life that you had just died
I’m gonna be the one that’s takin’ over
Now this is what it’s like when worlds collide
Are you ready to go?
‘Cause I’m ready to go
What you gonna do, baby, baby?
Are you goin’ with me?
‘Cause I’m goin’ with you
That’s the end of all time
What is it really that motivates you?
The need to fly or this fear to stop?
I’ll go along…but then you’ll realize
When we get there, I say nine of ten drop
Now who’s the light and who is the Devil?
You can’t decide, so I’ll be your guide
And one by one, they will be hand-chosen
Now this is what it’s like when worlds collide!
Are you ready to go?
‘Cause I’m ready to go
What you gonna do, baby, baby?
Are you goin’ with me?
‘Cause I’m goin’ with you!
That’s the end of all time
(You are a robot)
Now this is what it’s like when worlds collide
Now this is what it’s like
Now this is what it’s like when worlds collide
Now this is what it’s like
What is it really when they’re fallin’ over?
Everything that you thought was denied
I’m gonna be the one that’s takin’ over
Now this is what it’s like when worlds collide
Are you ready to go?
‘Cause I’m ready to go
What you gonna do, baby, baby?
Are you goin’ with me?
‘Cause I’m goin’ with you
That’s the end of all time
Are you ready to go?
‘Cause I’m ready to go
What you gonna do, baby, baby?
Are you goin’ with me?
‘Cause I’m goin’ with you
That’s the end of all time
Are you ready?
Yeah, I’m ready
That’s the end of all time
Are you goin’?
Yeah, I’m goin’
That’s the end of all time
https://youtu.be/lsV500W4BHU?si=BOXchTLEe5fpEyGj
“He is way smarter than me, and yet his worldview is just nonsense.”
Here’s the thing, when I read about brilliant people that turn out to be completely insane, I think to myself, hmmm, how can they be so smart about some things, yet completely wrong about the things that really matter, i.e. accurate perception of reality.
The way I see it, if someone with a high IQ entertains a nonsensical worldview it discredits their legitimacy as a higher thinker. You could say that they are sick and that their thinking is flawed, and as such, they can in no way be considered an example of higher intelligence, despite their ability to remember facts and to come across as being intellectually gifted.
There is book smarts and there is street smarts. If one has only one smarts he is half smart.
Hey Rad, Tryptie and I were recently having tea and crumpets on my private Substack channel, and in the course of our conversation, this track bubbled up from my subconscious.
Upon reflection, I realized you in particular might appreciate this OldTroon song, which I’m sure my OldTroon friends like Wombat remember from MTv
(The video is better than the lyrics)
You have to learn to pace yourself
(Pressure)
You’re just like everybody else
(Pressure)
You’ve only had to run so far, so good
But you will come to a place
Where the only thing you feel
Are loaded guns in your face
And you’ll have to deal with pressure
You used to call me paranoid
(Pressure)
But even you cannot avoid
(Pressure)
You turn the tap-dance into your crusade
Now here you are with your faith
And your Peter Pan advice
You have no scars on your face
And you cannot handle pressure
All grown up and no place to go
Psych one, psych two
What do you know?
All your life is Channel 13
Sesame Street
What does it mean?
I’ll tell you what it means…
Pressure!
presure!
Don’t ask for help, you’re all alone
(Pressure)
You’ll have to answer to your own
(Pressure)
I’m sure you have some cosmic rationale
Well, here you are, in the ninth
Two men out and three men on
Nowhere to look, but inside
Where we all respond to pressure!
Pressure!
All your life is Time Magazine
I read it too
What does it mean?
Pressure!
I’m sure you have some cosmic rationale
But here you are with your faith
And your Peter Pan advice
You have no scars on your face
And you cannot handle pressure
The pressure
Pressure
One, two, three, four, pressure!
https://youtu.be/Iyv905Q2omU?si=jjXQpxYw2gEEyVWu
In keeping with 80s pop songs which account for young boys becoming geriatric at the end of their pathetic lives, here is The Tubes “She’s A Beauty”.
I once mentioned the love of my life here: a half Finnish, half Mexican who stole my naive heart in college.
She told me early on that she didn’t want me to think of her like this song. That I shouldn’t think of her as a “beauty” who would “never love me”
That’s pretty fucked up when you think about it.
What kind of girl points out The Tubes “She’s A Beauty” as a warning sign?
When we first started dating in college, she wore her fat roommate’s Jorts. She later told me she wore them because she wanted me to love her for something other than her obvious beauty.
It’s so funny. I know my bros here can spot a hottie even when they try to hide it and disguise it with various oversized rags.
In case it wasn’t obvious, I ended up like the boy in the video — an old wrinkled man, brutalized by beauty.
https://youtu.be/mQ_k_VG6Syc?si=_t6uX51L1xyc1TKm
Ah, cheer up.
She’s just the girl U want
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izRM_fV2T4g
This was her and I many moons ago
https://ibb.co/5gc4k3Yw
could these two actors be called lookalikes? https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verena_Altenberger ….https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Br%C3%BChl
A nice-looking girl, and a nice memory to freeze for eternity on the flat circle.
Ah, unrequited love. . .
Another track, Roky this time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iX2MLsMrmCc
“It is my sincerely held honest belief that suicide is true enlightenment.”
That is moronic. We will all be dead soon enough; there is no advantage to speed in this. It also does not follow from what you have written; not logically and not spiritually.
Also, you are making all sorts of assumptions about the nature of reality that you can’t prove. Your assertions are just as speculative as Tryptie’s.
Sorry, I meant this to be a reply to ForestGhost’s drivel above.
Before you embark on your crusade against the technocratic oligarchy, consider taking a pilgrimage over to this paper on the Unabomber hoax
https://mileswmathis.com/unabomber.pdf
You will gain insight into how all these narratives are constructed to put you in this very frame of mind you are currently in.
Break free.
He who binds himself to a joy,
Does the winged life destroy,
He who kisses the joy as it flies,
Lives in eternity’s sunrise
>He who binds himself to a joy,
>Does the winged life destroy,
>He who kisses the joy as it flies,
>Lives in eternity’s sunrise
That’s clever actually.
@betaalpha
>could these two actors be called lookalikes?
Verena is relatively decent match. But I look nothing like Daniel Bruhl.
My face is long and not squarish. In my old age I think I look more like Jeff Goldblum (thanks Jews!)
Although, about 10-15 years ago I was stopped in the streets of downtown (on several occasions) by groups of Blacks tripping out, “Aye yo, this nigga looks like Scarface!!”
I can sort of see the resemblance to Al Pacino, but I had a better haircut.
(True story)