Breaking news: CO2 reduces your sperm count

I heard it from an anonymous low status white male a freedom loving patriot on Twitter with a bodybuilding profile pic who follows the keto diet, so it’s 100% accurate.

The scientific mechanism responsible for CO2 reducing your sperm count is a phenomenon known to scientists as “dying”. It turns out that when CO2 traps enough heat, heatwaves begin to emerge that trigger this “dying” phenomenon. After undergoing the dying phenomenon, a person’s sperm count rapidly drops by 100%.

Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, Elon Musk, Joe Rogan, Donald Trump and Alex Jones have already confirmed this to be true. On the other hand, Bill Gates, Joe Biden, Barack Obama, Klaus Schwab, Anthony Fauci, the Washington Post and the New York Times claim the link between CO2 and falling sperm counts is a “debunked far-right conspiracy theory”.

This woman has written a very long Vox article, about how CO2 levels in the atmosphere need to be increased, to make Europe feel more welcoming and accepting for refugees. She also claims that increasing atmospheric CO2 is a feminist issue, because women tend to feel colder than men. She claims it is “racist” and “reactionary”, to want to preserve the sort of climatic conditions that Europe had before the industrial revolution.

1 Comment

  1. Nothing can be done about rising CO2 levels; it’s fucking obvious that the minuscule amount of CO2 being pumped into the air from industry and animal husbandry is a irrelevant amount; and the REAL reason why the Earth is heating up is because of the visits Earth has been getting from aliens the last eight decades. The reason why aliens are visiting us is in order to pump CO2 into the atmosphere in order to slowly kill us off, while making the planet habitable for their kind. The government is finally admitting that they have had contact with extraterrestrial life; but they will never admit WHY, and that they have made a deal with the aliens to become a genetically modified servant race in exchange for not resisting the genocide of our species. Really, there’s only thing normal white men can do to survive and try to prepare for the aliens to come out in force. Train your lungs to better breath in a CO2 rich atmosphere by slowly exposing yourself to non-lethal amounts of CO2 gas and increasing the dosage over time (Mithridatism). If your sperm count is going down, jerk off to anime girls and keep your sperm in glass containers that you store in your fridge for later use. When there’s a will, there’s a will.

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