Dirty Sister Cindy

I don’t have a lot of new things left to say anymore. That’s how things go with old men. They have to stop themselves from repeating what they have said before. I’ve learned the noble art of keeping your mouth shut. At dinner with new company, when people bring up politics, I don’t say a word. I eat in silence. Young men have opinions they need the world to know about. Old men with any degree of class will tell you that discussing politics over dinner is impolite. It’s honestly uglier than talking with half-digested food in your mouth for everyone to see.

What I’ve noticed is that people just tend to shut down, when you point out the soft white underbelly of their worldview. Talking to a low IQ low status white male about ecological overshoot is really no different from mentioning to a leftist that we ran out of physical space in most of the Netherlands to build houses and so the problem is a bit more complex than “neoliberalism”. When people don’t want to understand something, they’re not going to. When I was young I thought that people build a mental model of the world based on information. But in reality they install a mental model of the world in their brain and then they look for ways to reject points that don’t fit into it.

Telling people what they want to hear, is an excellent business model. When you tell people what they want to hear, you don’t even have to be good at stating it. I don’t think it’s very dignified however. It’s mental prostitution. As with all prostitution, you become unable to tell apart what you want and what your customer wants. Anyone who makes money posting his opinions on the Internet is engaged in mental prostitution. Whether you’re a high class escort or the town bike (like Andrew Tate) is secondary, you are a prostitute.

But young guys are somewhat naive. Have a look at this:

This is Sister Cindy, a woman who found Christ. Please do me a favor and watch the whole video, I promise it’s worth four minutes of your time. She is holding a talk about “abstinence”. But as she explains what a woman will do when you buy her Margeritas at a Mexican restaurant, the students (mostly the boys of course) loudly cheer her on. And supposedly, poor Sister Cindy is so aloof that she doesn’t understand what she’s doing.

Well, I’m an old man by now. I can look at Sister Cindy and figure out she must have had her fair share of LSD over the years. She has probably completely shattered the thin illusory barrier between Self and Other multiple times. American women of her age, who still have long hair and a healthy figure, are not stupid. Nor have they lost their sex drive. And like most women, words have an emotional impact on her. The boys think they’re mocking her, by cheering her on as she explains how a woman will put on a harnass and peg a guy after drinking five Margeritas.

Well, sorry guys, you’re too innocent to realize Sister Cindy is having the time of her life as you cheer her on. It’s kind of similar to the homeless guy who is yelling at a seagull and starts yelling louder as you walk closer. Yes he is mentally ill, but he is also putting on a show for you, for his own enjoyment. Sister Cindy enjoys hearing all the submissive boys cheer her on, as she penetrates and defiles their innocent pale minds with her words. And in all fairness, she deserves it, because she has bravado and is skilled at her game. She has refined her art.

If these boys were a little older and had an actual holistic interest in girls their own age, beyond their naive compartmentalized instinctive drive that disperses through their brains as they age, they would have figured out what the shy girls their age get up to on dark corners of the Internet. And then they would realize that Sister Cindy effectively sodomized them with her words, with their cheering being moans of pleasure. She very obviously gets something out of this, but they’re too naive to realize it.

To look at this and think: “Sister Cindy is a Christian abstinence preacher” Is childishly naive. And yet, to look at this and think: “Sister Cindy is not a Christian” is almost equally naive. Sister Cindy is just taking Christianity back to its early roots, by not being discreet. The early Christians “found Christ” after finding a whole bunch of other things in life.

Effectively all of Christian tradition is saturated with sexual imagery and symbolism. A nun just manages to maintain a lower hedonic baseline, so sex for her becomes ritualized. She kneels down and opens her mouth, to receive the blessing of Christ, a naked tortured man nailed to a cross, in her mouth. Imagine looking at this and not comprehending it. That’s true innocence.

On the other hand, a sodomite who makes everything explicit, constantly pushes his hedonic baseline higher. He goes to a club in Amsterdam, he screws up his brain’s dopaminergic tone with stimulants, then he finds out eventually while being tortured by another man, that there is no pleasure left to find in it. Then it ends in suicide.

When Leftists say that words are violence, they’re just revealing their brains don’t have a very thick barrier between different qualia. It’s similar to how Muslim men react to insults to the prophet Muhammed. These men don’t have a strong sense of self. When you insult Muhammed, for all practical purposes you’re insulting them, because in their lived experience they are a mediocre form of Muhammed, a degraded photocopy if you will.

For people with a weak sense of self, experiences become similar for them to reading about them. Right wingers who insist on “free speech” are not unable to understand this. Rather, they’re just showing off their ego: “I have a strong sense of self. I can take everything you throw at me.”

Well, I’ve noticed that they can’t. Words can be sex. Violent, dominating, assertive, cruel, merciless. If you look long enough, you’ll find videos of fat unattractive guys on the Internet, getting women to humiliate them. But every once in a while, you can tell the women give them exactly what they ask for, but they’re too good at it and they’re actually hurt in their ego.

That’s generally my experience, when I tell people what I see. They can’t handle it. They shut down. “That’s a hoax, that’s all fake! These globalists are just lying!” Those are not the words of someone who doesn’t believe you. Those are the words of someone who doesn’t want to know. Someone who doesn’t want to let you into his mind. He’s trying to tell you that his arse is shut tight.

Everyone loves a good sub. It’s why Asian women are so popular among Western men. It’s not that they’re unable to stand up for themselves, it’s that they’re able to endure a lot. Imagine an old man goes to the supermarket with his elderly wife. They fill their bags full of heavy stuff. The man wears two bags, his wife wears one. We don’t say: “Ha what a loser, his back hurts because he has to carry his wife’s junk!” He’s just good at absorbing pain for her. He is being a good sub.

East Asian nations are influenced by Buddhism, which teaches us that the self is an illusion. There’s no true distinction between self and other. So what you find in these nations, is that historically they don’t have slaughter houses. Inflicting cruelty on animals is frowned upon and taboo. But they do have food that causes you pain. They have very hot red peppers. When you eat these, you alternate in position with plants. You allow plants to inflict pain on you. You submit before plants.

Ultimately, that’s what ecological awareness is too. You allow plants, species and entire ecosystems to transfer their pain onto you. Their pain is intellectually abstract. Most people can’t handle it, they flee away from it. But here, the noble instinct is to submit to the degree that you are able to.

To descend entirely into your thoughts, perhaps with their help and to make their pain yours, like an elderly man who carries his wife’s groceries. To truly comprehensively internalize, the young elephant, part of a dying herd, of a species that has roamed this Earth for millions of years, whose father was shot by a tourist for the joy of killing an animal, because elderly male elephants are seen by humans as not essential to the survival of the herd. To be treated as an object, a lingering curiosity from a dead era that brings in tourist money. To have all your dignity robbed from you.

This is torture. But humans seek out torture for a reason. The reward for making their pain yours, is that you begin to recognize the presence of God all around you. It becomes the only pleasure you need.