I think a lot of people are unhappy, because they choose to be unhappy. Why would someone choose to be unhappy? Some see this as their rebellion, as their revenge against the world, as their revenge against God, as their way of never making peace with what happened to them, with what they had to go through.
Another common reason people refuse to accept happiness into their lives is because to do so means choosing to be vulnerable. When you allow happiness to enter your life, it can also leave again. Some people’s first priority, above anything else, is to make sure that nobody can ever hurt them again. When you have no joy in life, there is nobody who can take it away from you.
I think such people are very difficult to help, not because they can’t be helped, but because helping them will require you to go against all your compassionate instincts. If you want to help them, your only way of doing so, is to have zero mercy for them. You have to show them that their wall is not impenetrable. You have to show them that despite their best efforts, you can still hurt them. Most people can’t do that. It is the natural domain of the court jester, the troll, the shitlord, the one who will accept no taboos, the one who inverts every social norm.
If you want to help these people, you have to be honest to them and say:
This impenetrable wall of strength you put up, that doesn’t just keep your enemies out but deflects every kind word too, is recognizable by everyone around you as weakness. If you were truly strong, you wouldn’t need that wall to defend you in the first place.
That impenetrable wall you built doesn’t signal that you are someone who is not to be messed with. No, it stands as a giant monument, an eternal testimony to the reality that you were in fact messed with, that everyone can see.
Your refusal to indulge in the moment, to not take life too seriously, to put yourself out there, to express sincere affection and desire for connection to people who may not feel the same way, to show yourself as you really are underneath the layers of cynicism, bitterness and fatalism, to open yourself up to insults and rejection that hit you where it actually hurts, doesn’t mean that people can’t hurt you anymore. It actually means you already chose to let them carry everything away from you.
This is the only thing I have to say to all the truly unhappy people. The incels. The femcels. The radical feminists. The blackpillers. The misanthropists. The efilists. The ascetics. The white supremacists. The woke academics. The religious fundamentalists, who blow themselves up for God, who dress in burqas, who retire to monasteries, who will not grant themselves any of the Earthly joys. To all the people who were really hurt at some point in their lives.
They don’t see something that the rest of us refuse to see. We were all victimized by it, to one degree or another. What sets them apart from the rest of us, is that they chose to never stop being its victim. They don’t want the wound to heal. They want the whole world to see that the wound was inflicted on them. We’ve seen it, ok? It’s time to let it heal.
I guess I’m an asshole, for pointing that out. Someone needs to be.
In my long study of combat sport, I’ve learned a lot from a lot of extremely knowledgeable people. At first it was just dealing with my own traumas growing up in a savagely violent alcoholic home, a fact it’s taken me decades to make enough peace with to state plainly. I just wanted to be able to kick my dad’s ass, or at least be able to avoid damage and preserve something like dignity when he flew off the handle, either because he was drunk or because he was upset that someone dared to notice out loud some of what he did when he was. After a while I’ve realized that when I study or train, I end up learning about a lot of different angles of life in the process. Those have gradually become the more important part to me. There’s a certain grappling coach who explained plainly, the reason a person is better off learning from a professional is the success rate. You try to figure out how to grapple on your own, like one in ten things you figure out will be viable. You learn from a pro, especially one who knows how to teach at all,… Read more »
“At first it was just dealing with my own traumas growing up in a savagely violent alcoholic home, a fact it’s taken me decades to make enough peace with to state plainly.”
Since I was on a Henry Rollins trip last night, your comment reminded me of a song I hadn’t heard in ages (which may or may not resonate with you):
https://youtu.be/q6Aa7v_xkcw
“From the wreckage of humiliation
I got my self-respect
I pulled myself together
What the hell did you expect?”
P.S. for those unaware, that whole Rollins Band album is a sort of “Bible” for Sensitive Young Men. Extremely raw and vulnerable (in a masculine way). Just about every track is a gem, (for those who think and feel, anyway.) It got me through my darkest days as a freshman in college, first entering the world of women and dating.
It’s a tad self-indulgent in hindsight, but such were the times.
https://youtu.be/rKb6Ik0Jm3s
(Apologies for the Boomer/“Unc” moment – now back to your regularly scheduled programming)
Appreciate the rec. Gonna binge this album
Really?
Mehen’s music is always awful to my LSWM ears. Maybe even worse than Rad’s taste in music, which is pretty bad.
You are a brute with no refinement or taste. That’s fine — every tribe needs its thick-skinned warriors such as yourself. But I am now thinking of an old friend of mine, who was a total Chad. He was a boxer (Golden Gloves) but he once confided to me how brutal his father was, who put out cigarette butts on his skin as a child (among other things). It should go without saying he cleaned up with the ladies. It’s a curious thing. Not all men can be Chads. But all men can reach down into their sack to do what they must. To fulfill their role. ———- And the men who hold high places Must be the ones who start To mold a new reality Closer to the heart Closer to the heart The blacksmith and the artist Reflect it in their art They forge their creativity Closer to the heart Yes, closer to the heart Philosophers and ploughmen Each must know his part To sow a new mentality Closer to the heart Yes, closer to the heart Yeah! Oh You can be the captain And I will draw the chart Sailing into destiny Closer to the heart Closer… Read more »
I’m having an “optimistic moment” right now.
Don’t expect it to last long.
Far from a brute, I can enjoy all different kinds of music, as long as it’s good to my ears.
I even like this modern synthesizer song a lot.
Moshic
https://youtu.be/ZFlloiLofSM?is=VtR5m0qw_mNY-y1q
No Sugar In My Coffee
https://youtu.be/LLMLOKV8334?is=qhWR8kOzD8IhPDlq
Oh God, I fucking hate Rush.
Yeah, your taste in music is extremely divergent from mine.
This song is approximately 987,553 times better than anything Rush ever did.
https://youtu.be/E8cJ1Wa6U3o?is=g_vuS7-Fe00u4TyL
I’ve hit a point where the messaging hits me more than the styling. Never thought I’d become one of those people, yet here I am
If by “lore” you mean not just the track list and release date, but the stories, themes, mythology, and place the album occupies in Henry Rollins’ career, then The End of Silence is arguably the central text of the entire Rollins universe. The End of Silence The Historical Moment The album was released on February 25, 1992, at a very unusual moment in rock music. Punk and underground music were suddenly becoming commercially viable after the success of Nevermind. Rollins Band had spent years as an underground act playing clubs and college venues, but after appearing at the first Lollapalooza they were signed by Imago Records and given resources they had never had before.  Ironically, instead of making a more commercial record, they made a 72-minute monster full of ten-minute songs, jams, psychological breakdowns, and emotional self-dissection. Critics and fans often describe it as the band’s artistic peak.  ⸻ The Meaning of the Title There has long been speculation that “The End of Silence” referred to Rollins finally reaching a wider audience after years underground. Rollins himself acknowledged that the major-label situation felt strange because he had spent most of his career ignored by the mainstream.  But… Read more »
Henry Rollins is funny
https://youtu.be/XZ68LwV9xMQ?is=0Z160kVLy9PYR3qL
But he’s not a source of mine for good music. You made an entire essay about his mediocre junk.
WTF? 😆
His music isn’t what I would call “good”
(I’m a college-educated musician, remember)
But the album I recommended is “true art” if one understands “art” as the stylized expression of the human condition.
See me — Put yourself in my place Be me — Put my eyes in your face Maybe then you’ll see why this place terrifies me And why I’ve got to get myself away So hard to deal with the ones who aren’t real They continually blow my mind. No need — I’ve been burned enough times myself You’re like me — Sometimes you scare yourself The things that you think And the way that you feel Make you think you’re all alone And when you go outside And try to find yourself a familiar mind It really lets you know you’re on your own So unknown… When those walls close in around you When all those about you doubt you When the world can live without you Get a grip, get a grip, and keep it You’ll see how hard they’ll shove you Hate your guts and tell you they love you Get a grip right, get a grip, get a grip right now You’ll see how far you’ll get pushed How long they’ll hold you down Feed you lies, drive you insane Give you poison to kill your pain Know me — I see the fear in your… Read more »
The human condition of mediocrity?
The lyrics are impressive to you, is that it?
The song kicks ass.
I’m not sure what else to tell you.
Looking at this comment thread makes me kinda want a feels inducing music dump thread
Fucko, I’m quite tired at the moment, but the first thing which popped into mind after reading your comment was the Dead Kennedy’s song “This Could Be Anywhere” https://youtu.be/MxayQLVs9Ww In case you weren’t aware, The Dead Kennedys (highly significant band name, btw) were one of the premier punk bands of the late 70s and early 80s. They were distinguished by their more political and “intelligent” commentary. They could be classified as roughly left-wing/socialist, but an interesting thing is that they wrote before “political correctness” and “wokeness” and as a result I’ve seen certain factions of esoteric right-wingers quote certain songs of theirs favorably. You know, the original “left-wing” which actually cared about the LSWM blue-collar workers and inveighed against (((corporate))) control and domination. (Sadly, the singer/lyricist did not hew to his original revolutionary impulses, and in later life allowed himself to be absorbed into the Borg, but that’s another matter). A young Mehen was a huge fan of them in his teenage years when he was trying to make sense of the world and seeking out people who might provide him with direction. I later grew out of it after discovering the band Rush with their promotion of Ayn Rand,… Read more »
Oh, how could I forget. The Dead Kennedys wrote the very first critique of the Progressive “PMC” (Professional Managerial Class) in song format. Way back in *1980* Hipsters, too. (I was a kid at the time and had no idea who Pol Pot was) ——- https://youtu.be/v0Uc6ZWDF3c So, you’ve been in school for a year or two And you know you’ve seen it all In daddy’s car, thinking you’ll go far Back east your type don’t crawl Playing ethnicky jazz to parade your snazz On your five-grand stereo Braggin’ that you know how the niggers feel cold And the slum’s got so much soul It’s time to taste what you most fear Right Guard will not help you here Brace yourself my dear Brace yourself my dear It’s a holiday in Cambodia It’s tough, kid, but it’s life It’s a holiday in Cambodia Don’t forget to pack a wife You’re a star-belly sneech, you suck like a leech You want everyone to act like you Kiss ass while you bitch, so you can get rich But your boss gets richer off you Well, you’ll work harder with a gun in your back For a bowl of rice a day Slave for… Read more »
Bonus points to any reader who remembers what “Right Guard” was, without Googling it.
Counterpoint:
Night Of The Living Rednecks
https://youtu.be/3fM4dIHtFWI
(For Rad, only)
Rare, deep track:
https://youtu.be/VmJYpAycF0c
This track is probably copacetic with philosemetic Rad, sadly
this is your best post in a long time.
Thanks!
Relevant music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhXxoOAruJQ
Swear never to be gentle
To always be unkind
Love is hard to handle
Love will rob you blind
If I may say, Rada, it seems to me, that you are a rather unhappy person yourself – so maybe you see something in them, which is in you. Anyhow, Happiness is rather easy – just think more of others than of yourself and try to get closer to love, courage, empathy, kindness etc. – and stay away from anger, selfishness, hatred, fear etc. Depression is a rather selfish matter, it is anger turned inward – I hurt so much, look at me etc. Most people choose to be unhappy, they rather want to be right than know the truth (about themselves and things) – or rather, they do not know that above all they need to be truthful and kind – but once the decision is made to choose truth and to be kind to others: The way is upward. Good luck! One day you get out of this!
When I look at the overall picture, I am actually very happy and grateful to be alive.
However, it exists in a manner that is very difficult for me to convey.
Heaven and hell both exist within my mind.
As Tennessee Williams said: “If I got rid of my demons, I’d lose my angels.”
what is your stance on
”I guess what I’m feeling is like a beautiful sadness. It makes me feel alive. It makes me feel human.”
Yeah, that’s me. That’s what it means to be me. I like to think I am alright with it.
“When I look at the overall picture, I am actually very happy and grateful to be alive.” – You could have fooled me! “If I got rid of my demons, I’d lose my angels.”- written by an alcoholic.
You don’t need hell to enjoy heaven Rada – but maybe hell will help you see one day, that you can choose differently. That you don’t need your demons and don’t need to fight the pain. Once that happens – the pain stops – and hell is gone. Good luck!
> grandiose compassion for the guy you were 3 days ago
😎 📈
I think a lot of people are depressed because they choose to be depressed.
You build this wall around you
Who’s around to
Help you tear it down?
https://youtu.be/JJIK_KDqO54?is=Jk9ZduCu5f26nrlF
Even nu-metal can be alright sometimes if you’re willing to tear down your genre purist wall.
You felt ill this afternoon because you’re getting better. You see, when we’re healthy we respond to the presence of the hateful with fear and nausea.
https://youtu.be/zh14gESjgR8?is=0mH8zBCVJrIc6Mbt
Versus
coomer. Man, haven’t seen that one in years.
You can either cooom, or be depressed – but you cannot be both.
Good advice for the marginalised outcasts who have a potential positive future outlook for life, but sadly for some unfortunate people their lives were tragically and irreversibly destroyed from the very moment of their birth:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Reimer
> David Reimer (born Bruce Peter Reimer; 22 August 1965 – 4 May 2004) was a Canadian boy raised as a girl following medical advice and intervention after his penis was severely injured during a botched circumcision in infancy.
> Well known in medical circles for years anonymously as the “John/Joan” case, Reimer later went public with his story to help discourage similar medical practices. He killed himself at age 38, two days after separating from his wife.
R.I.P. to him and his twin who also killed himself.
Edit: It actually happened when he was around six months old. He was under the care of a controversial psychologist named John Money who practiced disturbing treatments on them.
https://youtu.be/8KANoVk5CgQ
Too much to know
Too much to see
It might mean something you
But it’s nothing to me
It’s just another ad for someone’s
version of how they think it should be
“Eli’s gone, he has slipped away…”
https://youtu.be/mVicWcmqjHE?is=fpF-noRnxwHnUqMU
Do you have any understanding how good this blues harmonica is? Dude lost an eye in Vietnam.
“I once had a girl, she was fine and brown. Eli took her when he left this town.”
Led Zeppelin: “Well, my woman left home for a brown-eyed man but I still don’t seem to care!”
“This place” that you think sucks is the only world you will ever experience. When you die your universe dies with you and there will be no glorious rebirth into a happier place.
Better get a move on…
And you’ll bet your life on that?
Counterpoint:
https://youtu.be/ZuLWPr9HmFM
Do you want to be happy, like an ape? This piece of shit is a Jewish troll, which means he’s not even Jewish, he’s a gypsy imposter. DIE DIE Die! Says the MKULTRA 2.0, HAVANA SYNDROME VOICE TO SCULL TECHNOLOGY VOICE IN YOUR HEAD! But for the love of God and all that is holy, please don’t kill yourself, kill your EGO, you UGLY JEWISH IMPOSTER!!!!
Please consider taking some cannabidiol.
I use cannabis daily, mostly CBD though. Sorry about my last comment. I had just watched a documentary about Havana Syndrome and its connection to MKULTRA. My comment was meant to be dark poetry. Unfortunately I was very drunk. I regret it, it was in bad taste.