Hypersocial men are the real pandemic

Tim Hofman (2018)

Human beings exist on a spectrum in regards to sociality. On the one hand, there are those who are antisocial. These are very few in number, but essentially, these are people who want to be disliked. Most often, they have some sort of undiagnosed mental problem. They’re almost always men, or MTF transgenders. If you see some guy who literally dresses up like Hitler, you’re dealing with someone who is antisocial. I tend to think that antisocial people are generally hyposocial people who suffered a trauma.

Beyond the antisocial few, we find the larger group of asocial people. If you’re asocial, you’re essentially utterly indifferent to your peers, or utterly incapable of understanding how to interact with them. You just want to be left alone and do your own thing. Again, it’s unusual to be asocial. Human beings need to have some degree of social competence to pass on their genes, when you’re genuinely asocial, it’s a sign that something went wrong in your development. Here you tend to find people with conditions like autism, schizotypal personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, schizophrenia and other problems.

Moving a step further along the spectrum, we find the hyposocial people. These are the people who are deficient in normal social behavior. I would readily fit myself into this category. I’m used at this point to the reality that I don’t get along well with most people and that I don’t find most people very interesting, nor would I have any idea how to have a meaningful interaction with them. If you’re hyposocial, you probably have a few good friends and you favor quality over quantity. The friends you have are typically people you know through and through. A lot of people who fit in here are said to have Asperger’s. Most of these people are men. Autism is five times more common among men than women. Schizoid and schizotypal personalities are also more common among men than women.

This is the point where we find the people who are “normal”. Normal people have a reasonably large number of friends. They tend to eventually raise children of their own. I would argue the main factor that determines whether you’ll have children or not in our society is how socially competent you are. Normal people have some specific interest of their own, but they’re not unusual and don’t radically diverge from what you would expect for their peer group. As an example, you won’t find a normal socially well-adjusted office worker with a wife and two children whose main interest are renaissance era grimoires. Instead, the normal man’s interests fit those you would expect for his demographic. If he’s kind of rural and conservative he might like to go fishing, if he’s more urban he might have a thing for cars.

But now we arrive at the people who are hypersocial. This is common in young women. Almost all young healthy women are hypersocial compared to the rest of humanity. That’s just part of how human society works. Hypersocial people are defined by the fact that they’re more inclined to display behavior that the group as a whole approves of, than the average person. That’s what you notice in young women. Young women tend to embrace fashionable ideas, that are growing in popularity. As women grow older, they tend to start feeling more able to go against the grain.

But here’s the problem: Hypersocial behavior exists among men too. That’s a problem, because the responsibility that fell on men is to make tough choices in life and to stand up for causes that are unpopular. Why do hypersocial men exist? The reason is because in our modern environment of high population density and individualism, hypersocial men have a fitness advantage. Of course life is easier for a man in our modern society when he adjusts himself to whatever absurdity became trendy lately.

Girls tend to like hypersocial men when they’re young. The perfect example is the guy in the boyband. Boybands are basically guys displaying hypersocial behavior. They look perfectly youthful, smooth and androgynous, they tend to display openly bisexual behavior too on stage (sitting on eachothers lap etc).

As girls become adult women, then tend to start appreciating traditional masculine qualities more. You won’t find a forty year old woman into Korean boybands. A forty year old woman wants to escape her boring office job to join a biker gang of angry right-wing men with criminal records, hairy chests and handlebar moustaches before she runs out of eggs.

For what it’s worth, guys actually seem to prefer hyposocial girls, even though they are few in number. Young women aren’t socially competent to help them get along with guys: They’re socially competent to help them get along with other women. Think back to our hunter-gatherer ancestors: You’re pregnant or you have a small child. How are you going to survive, without the help of other women?

If you wonder what sort of people tend to be attracted to social justice, it tends to be hypersocial people. The word kind of gives it away. When a new form of social justice emerges, you’ll tend to find that young women are the first to pick up on it. Who is wearing masks on their social media profiles? Young women. Not elderly obese men, the demographic most at risk from COVID19. The people least at risk from the virus, are the ones most inclined to endorse the measures.

Hypersocial people have a habit of associating themselves with whatever seems to be winning and becoming more dominant. You won’t see hypersocial people “fight the power”. Rather, they identify themselves with the power structure. The thing is that in our society, the power structure has set up a boogeymen power structure that it points towards, as if it were truly in control over our society. This way, you can embrace the power structure, while claiming you’re not.

The classical example is perhaps seen in the 1983 movie Trading Places, where two brothers who own a trading house decide to perform a cruel social experiment on two innocent victims. They have British accents, live in a countryside manor with lots of personnel and have rooms filled with portraits of long dead people. But look at the world’s billionaires and you won’t really find people like that.

It’s a boogeyman, a hypothesized power structure that people wish to believe somehow manages to linger in the back, because then they can claim to be fighting against it. The companies that make up the SP 500 are not owned by pension funds controlled by nameless bureaucrats, they are owned by very old white people descended from the people who founded those companies, who live in countryside manors filled with personnel and secretly harbor offensive beliefs. It’s this idea that the world is run by a handful of guys who look, act and think like Prince Phillip.

However, if you want to know what’s really in control in a society, where the real power lies, you have to look at what young women choose to identify themselves with. You’ll find that real power in our society lies in the swarm. Money doesn’t really mean anything anymore. Power is now held by those who receive attention on social media. It’s almost like a currency, that is acquired by telling the masses what they want to hear, but can then be spent on things you genuinely care about yourself.

Why are we being locked up in our homes? Is it George Soros? Is it Bill Gates? Is it Fauci’s fault? People like Fauci are just men who understand where true power lies now, they gather power for themselves by giving the crowd what it wants to hear. It’s the hypersocial swarm that panicked in response to video’s of old people being intubated in Italy and military vehicles carrying bodies. That hypersocial swarm then forced the government to create a dystopian regime to make them feel safer. Governments don’t intrinsically want this. The default response of a government to a new virus is herd immunity: Keep business as usual going. That’s what most European politicians tried, until the swarm forced their hand.

Humans are not that different from locusts. Grasshoppers begin to transform when there are enough of them in the same place. They turn into a swarm of locusts, under the influence of serotonin in their brains. The swarm is intrinsically destructive, but there’s no real way to stop it. Social media turns us into a swarm of locusts. Our opinions are determined by 240 character witty jokes and ten second tiktok videos. We see that content because other people shared it, they shared it because it required minimal effort on their part to understand.

Hypersocial men are a problem for society. They’re a problem for women too, for what it’s worth. They’re easy to connect with, but after a while, you’ll start feeling a void. The hypersocial man doesn’t have a world of his own to show you. He doesn’t stand for anything. There’s nothing for which he would die. The Romanian dictator Ceaușescu’s wife died as a happy woman. She spent her last moments, arguing that they had a right to be executed by a firing squad together simultaneously.

But now imagine being a woman in a long-term relationship with a hypersocial man. This is a man who stands for nothing and believes in nothing, he adjusts himself to whatever the swarm happens to dictate. What is there for you to love, except for a hollow reflection of society itself? To me, the perfect example is the Dutch TV host Tim Hofman. Out of all the people on Dutch TV I can’t stomach, he is the only one who manages to come close to Arjen Lubach.

His girlfriend was also a media personality, she had her own show where she complained that she lost interest in sex. This is obviously a cheap shot, but I have to point out the possibility that you might have lost interest in sex because you don’t have an actual boyfriend: You’re trying to have sex with a kind of physical incarnation of thousands of hip people from Amsterdam. This is not an actual person, it’s a thousand Twitter profiles mashed into one pseudo-personality that happens to have a dick attached.

Look at the photo again. Imagine I had created a neural net that was trained on a thousand hip Dutch millenials in Amsterdam with Twitter profiles who all spent a gap year backpacking in Asia. I asked it to spit out a photo. Isn’t this the kind of photo you would expect to see? He acts exactly like he looks: He has the kind of personality and worldview that everyone can tolerate but nobody can become particularly enthusiastic about.

The advantage of dating a hyposocial person, as opposed to a hypersocial person, is that when you manage to make it work, eventually you’ll grow old together and you’ll be able to say: I knew a person. Hypersocial people don’t really have personalities or ideas of their own. They adjust like a chameleon to whatever is popular around them. This is not just a problem in relationships, because hypersocial people also tend to rise to the top in democratic political systems.

Hypersocial people cause huge problems for society, because they always parrot the feel-good nonsense as opposed to the cold hard truth. For the cold hard truth, you tend to be dependent on people who are hyposocial. Here’s a good example:

And the organizer of the Nibe Festival is also happy. That festival in the town of Nibe is scheduled from June 30 to July 3. “We will never gamble with the safety of our guests,” says festival director Peter Møller Madsen, “but I am optimistic about the vaccination program and the vaccination passport, it looks good.”

We will never gamble with the safety of our guests is the most politically correct thing you can say. It’s also the stupidest thing you can say. Every festival you attend is a gamble with your life. I was punched in the stomach once at a mosh pit at a metal concert. That’s how things tend to go. You have emergency medical services at festivals, because people take illegal drugs there that are contaminated with God knows what.

If you don’t want to gamble with people’s lives, you shouldn’t host festivals where people will be bringing Ecstasy pills manufactured by career criminals in Brabant and research chemicals ordered online. If you think you’re gambling with their lives by having a bunch of twenty-something year olds expose themselves to a corona virus, you have a very bad understanding of statistics.

But the problem of course, is that the kind of people who organize festivals tend to be hypersocial people. They have spent years, pretending that the biggest most acute problems on the planet are racism (against black Americans in the United States of course, not against Muslims in China), homophobia and transphobia, rather than for example the threat of nuclear war, loss of biodiversity, resource depletion, biotechnology or the Chinese government. Now that the ideology of totalitarian altruism has incorporated indifference towards the lives of elderly people with dementia in nursing homes as a mortal sin, you have no foot to stand on when you want to hold a festival. Congratulations, you played yourself.

This is the irony we live with. Elderly people see no problem in going to church in groups of hundreds of people, but hypersocial young people, their brains damaged by social media, think they have a moral obligation to shut themselves in their homes. You’re miserable? You’re depressed? You played yourself, by being hypersocial. Here’s a suggestion: Try being unpopular. Try being hated. Try it. Say something, today, that will prevent you from having a career as a celebrity or a politician. Cancel yourself. Say something that makes people cringe, say something you will live to regret.

There’s this famous essay by Paul Graham, where he asks the question of what makes nerds (ie hyposocial people) unpopular. He arrives at the conclusion that nerds aren’t genuinely socially incompetent. They understand why they’re unpopular and dislike being unpopular. However, they simply have interests in their lives that are of such importance to them that unpopularity is a price they’ll happily pay for it. Unpopularity is the price that nerds choose to pay for pursuing their own interests and passions, for having genuinely meaningful experiences.

Hyposocial people are underrated. Let’s face it, the only people who are ever going to get you out of the lockdowns are hyposocial people. If you’re going to follow hypersocial people, then this is now what the rest of your life is going to look like. Any sort of death or risk is of course unacceptable and cruel, to say that you will tolerate zero risk is to signal empathy, so that is what hypersocial people will do. Sacrificing obese people and nursing home residents so that young people might have a chance of a normal youth is a form of social darwinism, which is a pseudo-intellectual way of saying “basically what Hitler did”.

You see, the problem you’re dealing with is that you need to make an uncomfortable sacrifice here, if you want your life back. The pandemic after all, will never have a clear end. The virus will continue to evolve and circulate, but over time it will simply transform into a form of background noise. The real question is whether society becomes able to tolerate that simple fact. Can you accept the possibility that 100,000 Americans may die from COVID19 in the second half of this year? If society can’t accept that, you’ll be dealing with this whole circus theatre for another year.

These are the options you’re dealing with. Political correctness underwent a mutation, you can now only be politically correct if you’re willing to pay the price of being locked up in your home to save the lives of nursing home residents and the obese. The question you’re faced with now is the question nerds have faced throughout generations: Are you willing to be unpopular, if it means you get to be free?

8 Comments

  1. “You see, the problem you’re dealing with is that you need to make an uncomfortable sacrifice here, if you want your life back”

    Finally catharsis.

    I have been waiting for you to finally realize this is what you were saying and then admit it to yourself.

    It took a lot of these corona posts to hit 🎯

    Now you are ready to come to america

  2. I always admire the elegant flow of your posts, but this time I sense a lot of steenkolenengels in your sentences.

    >Are you willing to be unpopular, if it means you get to be free?

    I am not sure that such a tradeoff exists. You get to be unpopular and unfree, except, maybe, in your mind.

    Sorry, the Americans are not coming to save us this time.

  3. Normies crying over not being able to go partying every weekend is lifefuel

    If it were by me the pandemy would last forever so I never have to go out to work

    New normality is here and its beautiful

    • College town adjacent here. They’re still partying, nobody gives a fuck except urbanite dorks and limp-wristed nusoy cuckmales. Sorry, but the kind of guys who shoved you (us) into lockers in school are still enjoying life and still winning.

      • …until they’re 30 and still working a minimum wage job and realize that at this rate, they’re gonna live paycheck to paycheck for the rest of their life. And yet they idolize Trump as if he would solve all their problems, instead of fighting for policies that would actually benefit them like a $15 minimum wage.

        Sorry, no, I don’t envy those people one bit.

        • I don’t think we’re talking about the same people here; most socially well-adjusted college party boys tend to go on to succeed in life, having established connections and demonstrated that they’re neurotypical enough to make it in the business world. Frat houses seem to churn out success stories fairly consistently.

          The dumb jock is a myth for the most part, as is what our parents told us about how our bullies will be working for us some day; in practice it usually seems to be the other way around, but for the occasional sociopath that manages to get to the very top rather than the moderately high rungs that these fellows tend to occupy.

  4. So which category do the typical angry white male Trump supports fall into? Especially those from rural counties where 70%+ of voters voted Trump? Aren’t they the hypersocial ones in that case, since it’s fashionable in rural counties to vote Trump?

    > they always parrot the feel-good nonsense as opposed to the cold hard truth.
    The cold hard truth being that blue-collar workers are vastly underpaid compared to 50 years ago, especially considering that their productivity has more than doubled since then. In other words, capitalism and the rich have failed them. And yet they idolize a (supposedly) billionaire president who was spoon-fed his wealth since birth.

    > Hypersocial people don’t really have personalities or ideas of their own.
    Applies to SJWs, but also to angry white male Trump supporters. Do you really think the typical storm-the-Capital participant leads a unique and interesting life? They’re the ones who probably use “Trump supporter” as a personality trait. Angry at the establishment, the Mexicans are taking their jobs, MAGA, blah blah blah.

    Basically, I fail to see why all of your complaints about hypersocial people don’t apply to your stereotypical rural Trump supporter as well. If anything, you should be controlling for environment when determining whether a person is hypersocial or not. A Trump voter in a typical rural county is the norm, not the exception. Whereas the libertarian software engineer who voted for Trump despite all his flaws is probably an interesting hyposocial individual, and someone I might actually enjoy having a conversation with.

  5. >Money doesn’t really mean anything anymore. Power is now held by those who receive attention on social media.

    you’re a fucking idiot if you think this and you should spend less time on twitter. the people with money love the lockdown, because it allows them to access new sources of money to pursue growth, which is the supreme law of the land.that rag they are forcing you to wear? that’s not because some hypersocial women on twitter said you to wear it, but it’s because it costs a couple euros to buy. multiply that by a billion and you will make a lot of money if you sell masks.
    it also is good for social control, which is what the people with money want, after all
    they don’t want the unwashed masses to revolt and take that money away. if you are sitting
    in home posting on twitter you are not actually talking with people and there’s no peril of
    you going on a strike. and if you go on strike or some other protest they can just send
    the police because you don’t want to spread the flu, right? pretty convenient if you
    ask me

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