I married a tradwife

This is my tradwife, the love of my life:

She is standing in a grain field here, but don’t worry, we don’t eat bread. Bread is full of gluten and carbs, which we don’t eat because that would mean we’re no longer in ketosis, which would cause us to gain weight. The grain in this picture is meant for producing beer of course, which is the only good drug (cannabis is for soycucks and gays). She is Swedish (biggest boobs, small butt, and guaranteed blonde hair and blue eyes), so her Trad religion is something called Lutheran, which I now believe in too. Luther was very based, he did not like Jews Zionists.

She never went to college, she just prays and stares at pretty pictures on Tumblr all day long, or wears dresses to pose in front of old paintings in museums while I take photos of her for her social media accounts. We bonded over a Schizowave video set to that sped up WASTED remix with a whole bunch of pictures of Jesus that I sent her. After marrying her earlier today, I just broke her hymen (with my penis). Shit was so cash, best twenty seconds of my life.

Well alright, ten seconds, but it felt more like twenty (to me at least, but to her probably too). I know this is not very discreet to mention, but the Lord revealed to me I have to mention that she came twenty times during the wedding night, with her vagina of course (not with her clitoris, which is like a very small penis and gay to touch). The Lord works in mysterious ways. This is natural when a woman is not on birth control and having sex with an alpha male. The Lord asked me to share this with you, to enlighten you.

Her goal in life is a noble one: She wants to push as many babies out of her vagina (grown from the semen I ejaculate into her vagina) as the Lord will allow. This is part of our shared effort to save the white race and stop The Great Replacement: We will outbreed the brown people, until the brown people become so desperate for food they eat the last orangutans as they die of hunger. Hail victory!

We will help make sure that by 2100, the percentage of white people on the planet is higher than it would otherwise be. We will not vaccinate any of our children, or brush their teeth with fluoride containing toothpaste. We won’t feed them toxic foods like kale or broccoli either. Instead, we will feed them a lot of raw milk. This is what Jesus would have wanted.

I have long thought that the world is in a bad place, but my wife educated me about the truth. I always thought that the Earth is overpopulated, that it doesn’t matter much that low IQ brown people are replacing high IQ white people like me, because those brown people will just inherit hell on Earth. I was wrong and far too cynical. I worried about soil erosion, ocean acidification, aquifer depletion, peak oil, overfishing and global warming, for no good reason!

It turns out this is all part of a globalist Malthusian elitist hoax. Paul Ehrlich warned about these fake problems long ago and it did not happen when he thought it would happen, which means it will never happen. I now realize that in the Bible, God clearly mentions to Adam and Eve to be fruitful, so that’s what I plan to do.

Note: This has nothing to do with the fact that she would not let me ejaculate in her vagina if I did not promise her first that I would stop taking drugs and we would marry and have children. She just had very persuasive arguments, that convinced me to bring children into this world after all. For example, it turns out the Rothschild and Rockefeller family came up with the global warming hoax, to bring about a One World Government with a global carbon tax, ruled by the Antichrist. Back when I was still a beta soycuck I only listened to the mainstream media, so I did not know this.

She also informed me that polar bear numbers are actually going up, instead of down. I did not know this either, but my wife showed me the Truth, after which I showed her my penis (after we were officially married of course). It also turns out that the elitists were first fear-mongering about global cooling, instead of global warming! This helped put my mind at ease.

There is also a Russian scientist who predicts we will soon enter another ice age. It turns out I was even wrong about Peak Oil! Oil is actually produced by the Earth itself and the depleted oil wells naturally refill themselves. I think the copper mines would probably just fill themselves with copper again too, if we just threw dirt back into them. I asked my wife if rain follows the plough, she told me she’ll study this in more detail.

More importantly perhaps, there is an evil bald man from Germany named Klaus Schwab, who sounds like a Nazi! He wants to force us all to eat bugs, as part of his globalist agenda. This is supposed to save us from global warming, which is actually a hoax, for reasons mentioned earlier. Eating bugs however is not good for you. They don’t contain seed oils, gluten or carbohydrates, but something else named Chitin, which is also not good for you, it also turns you into the bald guy with glasses. I don’t want to be the bald guy with glasses, I’m this guy:

This is now me.

I always say Yes. to my wife, because I’m an alpha male Chad, not a beta soycuck.

Did you get your bonus? Yes.

Did you check for seed oils on the packaging? Yes.

Are those potatoes Low Carb potatoes? Yes.

Is that milk unpasteurized? Yes.

Did you just come? Yes.

I started eating meat again, because my wife told me I’m a beta soycuck if I don’t eat meat, because that means I don’t get enough protein. Global warming is a hoax and a fake made-up problem, but we now eat grassfed beef, which actually helps store carbon in the soil. After we left the garden of Eden, the Lord allowed us to eat animals for sustenance. I already went to the gym, but to make sure I’m a real alpha male, I now do deadlifts everytime and I make sure to eat a lot of protein too.

I don’t know what my children are going to do when they’re adults, but we plan on home schooling them. Maybe they can inherit one of my businesses, or my wife’s business. I sell dietary supplements that I mainly promote through Twitter and my wife has an ASMR Youtube channel where she advertises NordVPN.

We also invest in Tesla, I signed up for a credit card so I could borrow money to invest more in Tesla. I always thought Tesla is a car company, but Tesla is actually an AI company! AI is the future, it will solve all our problems and Tesla will become the world’s largest company by market cap once they introduce their robotaxis.

I wanted to borrow more money, to buy a Cybertruck, but they are not road legal in the EU! Those stupid tyrannical bureaucrats in Brussels want to micromanage our lives and stifle innovation with all their excessive regulation. Perhaps our children will one day join one of Elon Musk’s new colonies on Mars! That would be exciting, I look forward to visiting them.

18 Comments

  1. > We will not vaccinate any of our children, or brush their teeth with fluoride containing toothpaste.

    Based. #NanohydroxyapatiteGang

    • Not gonna lie, I do pay extra for toothpaste that has the novamin stuff added. It doesn’t just repair the teeth, it’s like tiny glass that cuts open the bacteria (so don’t swallow it).

  2. Here’s one everyone going to be driving an electric car. It uses as much power as 20 fridges to charge it. It takes 20 years to design an build a many nuclear power plants to power them all. Nobody in the world is doing that. Funny no?

  3. “The grain in this picture is meant for producing beer of course, which is the only good drug”

    Since you’re Dutch, you should consider writing about your favourite Trappist beers.

  4. I sense your frustration Rintrah, but don’t worry bro, there’s another woman out there for you.

    Have you considered one who can help you get past these concerns about overshoot AND provide you with all the trappings of a boundless consumer lifestyle?

    If yes, then maybe a date with Hannah Ritchie, Oxford Researcher, Deputy Editor for Our World in Data, sexy and fashionable Youth Climate Champion, is in your future?

    Ritchie says everything will be just fine! The talent has written a book about it and everything:

    https://www.resilience.org/stories/2024-01-26/its-not-the-end-of-the-world-book-assumptions-omissions-spark-debate/

    Ritchie says that if you hold the polycrisis up to the light just right, and squint to keep unpleasant facts from spoiling the picture, you can see a flawless future of boundless economic growth AND resolved climate problems!

    She’s so romantic.

    Ritchie is also very adult and ‘apolitical’. Her ToR prevents her from talking about depressing downers like policy, or political challenges. But that’s for the best really. It’s best not to ‘mention the war’ on a date anyway. I’m not sure how that goes when it comes to splitting the bill after dinner, but whatever.

    In narrowing her ToR to omit pesky practical factors, Ritchie has shown all the Doubting Thomases out there that there’s still cause for apocaloptimism.

    What an attitude! She’s just so positive and mature for a 30-year-old. I bet she’s from a good home, sexy, popular, shot in a straight arrow from school > Uni PhD > Oxford Academic/Researcher/Deputy Editor. . .

    She’s not just some attractive, naive, gormless, academic/corporate bint who’d sell the whole world out without even realizing it. No siree.

    She says all wealthy countries are capable of zero emissions AND more economic growth.
    That’s sensible and mature right there.

    It’s all very convincing.

    She’s so apolitical that everyone wins!

    Remarkable what you can achieve if you frame things just the right way to keep nasty limits, politics, and policy from spoiling the picture.

    • So, do you take the girl on the right, or the girl on the left?

      Decisions, decisions. . .

      Could be best to draft a dating ToR that excludes either type.

      • It’s a neat trick this ToR business.

        A good ToR removes all sorts of difficulties and awkwardness. As synchronicity would have it, Dr Campbell has posted a short little clip that goes to the ToR for the UK Covid Inquiry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xdMOk5CCCM

        The old ‘one two’

        1. Jab the public with a stunning inquiry/review

        2. Lay the public out cold by ensuring the inquiry/review never reveals the truth.

  5. I knew you’d be alright when you find the right woman. Still, you can keep some of the bad habits, like not investing in tesla and not having a credit card. She’ll understand. But you definitely MUST listen to her when she mentions “micromanage” and “klaus” in the same rant.
    In the grand scheme of things, the difference between 10 seconds and 20 seconds is not material.
    And by the way, who cares if she’s real or not. She’s good as long as she makes you be brave, healthy, kind and generous. We also need you to be like that. Maybe even you can wind down ranting about us, LSWM, but that’s really not a must.
    Appreciate your writing, Radagast!

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The patients in the mental ward have had their daily dose of xanax and calmed down it seems, so most of your comments should be automatically posted again. Try not to annoy me with your low IQ low status white male theories about the Nazi gas chambers being fake or CO2 being harmless plant food and we can all get along. Have fun!

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