Some of you are really smart anti-establishment counter-cultural critical thinkers, who don’t believe in the mainstream media elitist global warming hoax. You are joined in this very smart esoteric insight, by such an anti-establishment critical thinker as the president of the World Bank, who is also not sure whether global warming is real or not. Maybe we’re irreversibly making our planet inhospitable to civilization, or maybe we have nothing to worry about and the satan-worshipping pedophiles on top just invented a hoax because they want to make us all eat bugs!
And because you are so smart, you must have been asking yourself the same question I have been asking myself: Let’s say we manage to defeat the satan-worshipping pedophiles who want to tax our carbon and make us eat bugs and live in a pod. We re-elect God Emperor Trump, we re-open the coal mines and we start producing as much of the life-giving gas known as carbon dioxide as we can. What’s going to happen to people who breathe in all this carbon dioxide? Today, for Moronic Monday, I decided to look into what the consequences of this
moronic err.. very smart experiment would be!
We can expect that around 2100, with patriots in control, we will have reached a concentration of CO2 in the atmosphere of around 1200 parts per million. We all know that global warming is a hoax that the satanists use to make us eat bugs. As smart people, we also know that ocean acidification is a hoax. This is the sort of thing satanic elites tend to do: Invent two hoaxes simultaneously, so that even if you don’t fall for one hoax, you still fall for the other hoax.
But still, we find ourselves wondering: Let’s say we defeat these satanic elites. We manage to pump as much CO2 in the atmosphere as God would want us to. How does the human body respond, to living out its entire life under a concentration of this life-giving gas, much higher than it has ever before encountered during the course of human evolution?
Well human beings live rather long, so it’s hard to study what happens in them. It’s much easier to study what happens to other animals. At 890 parts per million, mice show a reduced attention span. They spend less time learning and more time being hyperactive. Strangely enough, there is also lung damage. Exposure in early childhood to 890 parts per million leads to respiratory impairment in mice.
What about intelligence? Well let’s look at another animal: Cleaner fish. Cleaner fish have to be pretty smart, they need to eat parasites off other fish, without eating their protective mucous, in which case they will piss off the other fish. If that doesn’t sound very difficult to you, imagine having the brain of a fish. It turns out, at 750 parts per million the fish become stupid: They can’t figure out the tasks they’re supposed to solve. On the other hand, reduce CO2 levels from the normal 405 ppm to the levels they originally evolved under and they become smarter than they are right now.
So it turns out that under patriotic freedom-loving levels of CO2, the kind of level that satan-worshipping globalist elites want to prevent, fish become stupid! Well that’s weird, why would that be? Probably for the same reason humans become stupid when you crank CO2 up to 1000 parts per million. The real question we’re dealing with is not: Will we become dumber in the future? No my friends, the real question is: Have current levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere already turned us into drooling morons?
We have serotonergic neurons in our brain that measure carbon dioxide concentrations in blood. Today at 420 parts per million, those neurons will spend our entire lifetimes never measuring concentrations that are “normal”. Normal for us is 280 parts per million, that’s what we had for the past 10,000 years. In the period before 280 parts per million was normal, about 200 parts per million was normal.
Cringy evil elitist vegan beta soyboy cucks
Very based freedom-loving God-fearing patriotic alpha male
Of course we also have to consider another alternative explanation: If you invented two hoaxes to fool God-fearing freedom-loving patriotic Christian family men into thinking God gets pissed off when you change the atmosphere, why not just invent a third hoax? We can call this the “evolution caused all life to be adopted to low levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and now that level is increasing much faster than most lifeforms can adjust to through natural selection” hoax.
And so I have the following request to make to all freedom-loving patriots: Next time you go to your local news comment section to share your very smart and unique insights in regards to how Europe is falling apart because we listened to an autistic (HAHA AUTISTS ARE SUBHUMAN RITE GUYS) Swedish teenage girl, could you do me a favor and while you’re at it take the time to explain to me what exactly happens to human physiology as people live out their entire lives at 1200 parts per million of carbon dioxide? Thanks.