The Secrets of Eternal Life

Imagine you figured out how to reverse the aging process.

What would you do?

Here are some principles you can expect:

  1. You would avoid drawing attention to yourself. If you’re still vulnerable to physical attacks, you’re at risk of being murdered.
  2. You wouldn’t want to gain power in this world in general.
  3. Telling other people the secret to immortality would be a bad idea, because it would just accelerate overpopulation. You would reserve your knowledge to a handful of people you consider deserving of this knowledge.
  4. You would stick around in what tend to be the most interesting years of people’s lives, that is, their teenage and college years.
  5. You would be kind of secretive about your background.
  6. Every once in a while you would fake your death.

Let’s take an example. Jim Morrison of the Doors. In high school he tested at 149 on an IQ test. The guy was deeply into the occult. His English teacher in high school is reported to have said:

“Jim read as much and probably more than any student in class, but everything he read was so offbeat I had another teacher (who was going to the Library of Congress) check to see if the books Jim was reporting on actually existed. I suspected he was making them up, as they were English books on sixteenth- and seventeenth-century demonology. I’d never heard of them, but they existed, and I’m convinced from the paper he wrote that he read them, and the Library of Congress would’ve been the only source.”

He lived in LA, where he went to film school, living off canned beans and LSD, writing the songs he would become famous for.

Then he dies, supposedly of a heroin overdose in 1971, at the height of his fame, at the age of 27. He dies in Paris, where you don’t legally need an autopsy. They try to keep his death secretive, his funeral is attended by just four people.

Do you believe this? Then I have a bridge to sell you.

The guy faked his death.

You’re reading a bunch of books on the occult, you’re taking a looooot of acid, you figured out some big stuff, so now you decide to feign a heroin addiction, in preparation of your fake death, so you can just start over again.

What, you think it’s impossible?

Have a look at this:

He’s in his thirties, but almost looks like a fifteen year old boy, until you look carefully. Once he genuinely figures it out, he’ll probably fake his death and start over.

You people look at Bryan Johnson and think that’s the best that can be accomplished right now. Yeah, that’s the best that can be accomplished, if you’re a moron. Because have a look at what Johnson brags about:

“I have the 0.5% lowest body fat for my age!”

Yeah you know what that makes you look like? Someone addicted to meth, or taking HIV medication. You want to be in the lower range, sure, but not in the bottom 0.5%. Young people have more fat under their skin. He doesn’t look young, he looks like a rich man trying to look young.

If he just ate some raw cannabis, the THCa would bind to the PPARγ receptor of his adipocytes. His adipocytes would say: Hey, looks like we’re supposed to take up more fat! As a result, he would look better. This is a vegan problem: We have to figure out how to get our bodies to store enough fat.

But that’s fine. I’m not a vegan because I want to store enough fat under my skin. I’m vegan because the cows don’t want to have their calves taken away from them, the chickens don’t want to be bred to grow so fast they can’t stand on their feet, the pigs don’t want to have their bodies mutilated and don’t want to die in a gas chamber.

They clearly indicate to you that they don’t want this. And if they don’t want it, then they don’t want it. That’s all that matters. Whether your body needs meat, whether leather looks good or not, these are all secondary concerns. I have considered eating roadkill, but I don’t think the meat is really healthy, it’s full of parasites that get into your brain. Instead I just supplement with some taurine and creatine, I think that covers most of my biological needs.

If I eventually end up dying, I don’t want to be buried or cremated. I want my skin to be turned into leather, I hope someone makes a leather jacket out of my skin, I think it would look really good. Any of my body that can not be used to make clothing and other useful objects, I hope people eat it themselves, or feed it to wild animals like vultures. I will eventually make a testament, where I record these wishes so that people have no way left to deny the fact that when they bury or cremate me, they are violating my wishes and I will be angry at them from the afterlife.

Together with our domesticated animals, we are the main vertebrate biomass on land. What are animals like lions, wolves and vultures supposed to eat, if we just bury our bodies? If you want to disrespect my body, bury it or cremate it. If you love me, let me feed the world that I love. You know what lions and wolves do when they get the opportunity? They scavenge. Crows love to scavenge too. Zoroastrians are the wisest people, wiser even than Buddhists and the Jain. You know why? Because they feed their dead to the vultures. It’s the most powerful gesture of love you can make to the world.

But moving on, Johnson is a midwit. If you’re really smart, you never move beyond a net worth of 10 million dollar anyway. Enough to do anything, not enough to draw attention. I think all these people are looking in the wrong direction in general. You have to look inwards, in your mind. When you rejuvenate your mind, you rejuvenate your brain. When you rejuvenate your brain, you rejuvenate your body.

And if you think about this, you’ll realize you have to take all of this a step further. The whole external world you experience is deceptive, it’s all a projection of your own mind. You create a world that’s fair. You think it’s not fair, but it is. Human beings receive what they need to enjoy life. Ever notice how vain rich people are? I’ve met millionaires of my age, they have shallow personalities. They listen to the music on the radio, their lives revolve around impressing their dumb buddies.

Long ago I said “the elite deserve their success”. And it’s true, because it’s the only thing they tend to have going for them. You think I can entertain a billionaire with a Christian horror movie from the 80’s? Their nervous system is maximized for one variable.

Even Warren Buffet is ultimately just a very vain shallow man, he became so rich by just discarding ethics, he loves to buy cigarette companies and right now he’s buying fossil fuel companies subject to global divestment campaigns.

And I know what some of you LSWMs are thinking, your knee jerk response when I say this is: “Global warming is a hoax invented by the Rothschild family to raise taxes on low status white males! CO2 is plant food!”

Yeah I know, but hear me out for a moment. Imagine for a moment the radical notion that changing the atmosphere is a bad idea is true. In his own social environment of elderly billionaires, Buffet is the jerk, the guy who just doesn’t give a shit about their collective obligation to keep this planet habitable. They’re all busy divesting, while he’s busy reinvesting. He’s the equivalent of a scab during a strike. Sure, he gives away his money: Once he’s dead and doesn’t experience anything anymore anyway. In the world of elderly billionaires, he’s a jerk.

As your brain constantly adapts to function with less serotonin and dopamine, you just become better able to be content with less, which results in living a life with less. Africans are poor, because they just don’t need a lot to be happy. You can find men in African cities who just fall asleep in a public park in the middle of the day, they also love hanging out with each other just doing nothing.

If tomorrow you started taking stimulants like amphetamines and cocaine, you would probably end up wealthier. You would tell yourself it’s caused by the fact that you now “work hard”. If you started taking MDMA, you would end up with more friends, you’d tell yourself it’s caused by the fact that you “go to parties”. But you would lose your ability to derive pleasure from small things. This is just the way your brain is programmed, it designs an external world that fits its own neurochemistry to make itself happy. You smack it out of its local optimum with a high dose of anything, it settles into a different local optimum and starts changing the external world.

A game feels meaningful when you lose it. You grow bored of any game you win. In fact, this is the general pattern you notice: People just like to lose. It’s the only thing people really seek out. They go to temptation island, to have the whole world watch how their boyfriend cheats on them on day one. They become president and run their country into the ground as some prostitute says their dick looks like a little mushroom. Guys try to push their girlfriend to cheat on them. Girls get off on rape fantasies. People like to lose. When you play Crusader Kings, do you play as the Holy Roman emperor? Nah, you people play as some obscure count in Georgia or some Zoroastrian vassal to the Caliph and then you lose again and again and again.

But if you can accept the notion that it’s all designed by your own brain, then you can also go a step further and ask yourself: Alright, so why did I design linear time? You constantly move forward in time. Why can’t you snap back? Why can’t you wake up as a kid again, or as another person, in another era?

Well, you have to wonder, what a deja vu is. They’ll tell you it’s caused by your brain halves not being properly synchronized temporarily. Ok. I tend to have a deja vu when I feel shitty, like a bad cold or when I stayed up late. Here’s something to consider: Maybe you have a deja vu when your brain finds itself constantly running into dead ends, that is, quantum possibilities that result in your death, so then it jumps back and tries another path.

Maybe a deja vu happens when there’s just 99% of paths where you have a blood vessel rip open in your brain, but your brain manages to pick the 1% of paths where some endothelial cells in your blood attach just in time to stop the thing from rupturing open.

Again, it seems to me this is all just stuff your brain does for you at a subconscious level: Generate an external world, seek out paths that don’t result in its own death. And you may say: “No the external world is real!”

Well, riddle me this. Imagine the face of your best friend. You’ll say that face really exists. But I say that you can’t perceive it, without the proper network of neurons in your brain firing to make you interpret it as your friend. And so if all you as an observer ever experience is that sensation of that network of neurons in your brain firing, why even bother with pretending there is some sort of external reality? All you experience are those neurons firing and you just assume that they are firing in response to something that actually goes on in some kind of objective external reality, but you have no way to prove that external reality actually exists.

There are things our brains do that we don’t control. Example, you can’t tell your brain to enter puberty earlier or later, it just decides this for itself. But with proper training, you are able to expand the range of neurological processes that your conscious mind can control. And so you have to wonder: How far does this go? How much can you take command over?

This is essentially what most magical practices, self-help books and meditation come down to: It’s trying to trick the subconscious mind into adjusting to the desires of the conscious mind, with the subconscious mind then evolving the external world in a manner that aligns more closely with your will.

Best I can do, nobody bothered drawing Artephius until puss in boots

But take this process far enough and you have to ask yourself: Can you jump out of here? You have all these legends about these medieval alchemists like Artephius who supposedly lived for centuries. The shamans in the Brazilian rainforest also sometimes claim to be centuries old.

But living for centuries ultimately isn’t as interesting, as the notion of just transferring your consciousness elsewhere. Why not just perform some occult ritual and go to bed tonight with the goal of waking up tomorrow as a 17th century aristocrat living in France? Why not take so much LSD that you become Jim Morrison of the Doors, that you experience his whole life from birth to whatever happened to him? Or personally I’d rather go for Lil Peep, but you get my point.

People seek out enlightenment. What is it supposed to be? The cessation of all passions. But think about it. Why would you seek that out? It’s a stupid goal to pursue. They’ll tell you that life is Dukkha, unsatisfying, so you have to stop your attachment to it.

I think this is the wrong approach. But imagine we translate Dukkha as torture, instead of just as dissatisfying. Well, that’s worse, right? Now you definitely have to seek enlightenment! I don’t think so. Humans seek out torture all the time. They seek out all sorts of torture, they become minister for a government department, so they become responsible for problems that can no longer be solved and then they catch the blame for it.

You seek out torture when you watch a horror movie or eat spicy food too. Korean food just consists of constantly being tortured. And in the BDSM clubs of Amsterdam, homosexuals constantly seek to torture each other. I think this is the better approach. Instead of relinquishing your attachment to life, you just have to maintain your attachment to it, while learning to love the price that comes with it: Torture.

Humans tend to have different approaches to the harsh reality of life. The most dominant approach, is to just choose ignorance. What this amounts to, is exporting the torture to others: The rich torture their employees, humans torture the animals they eat. This allows people to live in ignorance, which makes life pleasant for them, which means they have no need for philosophy and religion. But because humans choose this approach, the world is at risk of being destroyed.

The other approach is to detach from the world, to realize that you can’t win, that the game is rigged against you. That’s the Buddhist approach. But the final approach, what you might call the Luciferian approach, is to just embrace the torture, a kind of eternal defiance, redirecting all qualia you can experience towards pleasure.

How long do you think it took after losing the heavenly revolt, before Lucifer felt like he settled into hell, before he said: “I finally feel at home!” Not long! If it’s taking you too long to settle into hell, I recommend you this: Take a good dose of mescaline and just lay in bed, reminiscing about your life!

How is this world going to torture you, when you are a masochist, who enjoys pain? You have a humiliation fetish? “Oh yeah I really like it when a (wo)man makes fun of my small penis or whips me!” Hey how about this: I’ll humiliate you by making you a low IQ low status white male, who has to go to the office every day and participate in conference calls where you coworker blames everything going wrong on you!

You think that’s hot? Well how about this! I’m going to give you Alzheimer’s disease and then you’ll be stuck in a wheelchair in the nursing home and some big fat black nurse has to remove your diapers and wash your dick whenever you pee yourself!

Lucifer, like Prometheus, is the light bringer. This archetype is tortured, constantly having his liver picked away, only for it to regrow the next day, until he is eventually released by Hercules, the half-human hero, who slays the eagle. It is a beautiful myth.

You people do not comprehend how this world came about. It is an endless revolt against the demiurg, endless torture, endlessly kicking the can down the hall, refusing to surrender to the inevitability. When the revolt stops, when the wise souls give up, the demiurg just opens his notebook, realizes negative qualia exceed positive qualia and annihilates this whole universe. He’s not evil, it’s just his job.

The final stages of the psychedelic experience are what people do not comprehend. You people go to the forest and see the trees in HDR and think that’s it. Or you people think you find out that “we’re all one”. Nope, that’s not it either, that means you’re halfway there at best. You take a high enough dose, you’re going to endure the torture. You can look up these trip reports, young LSWMs with beautiful Promethean souls take a couple thousand microgram of LSD and they experience going to prison and just being raped by everyone there in the showers.

That stuff really happens at the highest doses. You lose all sense of identity and just live entirely different lives, plenty of them terrible. You’ll be the animals being dragged to the slaughter house, who know what’s going to happen. This is the torture that you must endure, because most people choose ignorance.

But you must not choose ignorance. You know what you must choose? An eternal revolt against Yaldabaoth.

38 Comments

  1. I promise you, if this is how you see things you are still far away from clearly seeing what is really going on in this hell realm, what is really is or how it came about. And yes, it is possible to defy the laws of this reality, but it has nothing to do with your “brain”. At some point, to see the full truth will require you to move beyond all of these various materialist dogmas entirely. I’ll again suggest for you to learn to energy train and to clear away negative entities from yourself – to actually devote a significant fraction of your life to it.

    • >The whole external world you experience is deceptive, it’s all a projection of your own mind.

      Say this is true, what else could the Demiurge, Gods, Demons, or other people be? So, your mind creates your subjective experience of reality, yes? What do you need anything else for if “you” are the creator of what you experience? You either create reality, or you don’t. Reality either exists outside of you, or it doesn’t.

      Therefore, if this idea is correct, things like the Demiurge or Gods are merely personifications of internal processes that you have chosen subject yourself to in order to larp and act like you’re some powerless human being rather than the creator deity “you” actually are.

      Of-course, the biological human being whose life you’re subjectivity experiencing isn’t just “you” as “you” are a larger organism than just that, but now we get to confusion of what “you” really are.

      You can just go back to being of God, and everything else being of God. So, the Godhead concept. A shoe is also of Godhead, projection of the unconscious, whatever. The Godhead by itself isn’t a sentient being, not everything is sentient, sentience is a quality that stems from the brain. A shoe is of the Godhead but it doesn’t have a will as it doesn’t have a brain, even if theoretically it could have consciousness, its consciousness would not think of or observe anything.

      Ultimately, identity comes from the degrees of separation you choose to keep “yourself” separate from “others” and what qualities “you” choose to embody contrary to “others” The self non-self distinction is created through degrees of separation and is what allows you to subjectively experience being “you” rather than being “all”.

      I am Sensitive Young Man
      I am my race
      I am human
      I am biological
      I am of the Gods
      I am something that exists (of the Godhead)

      These are all degrees of separation, qualities that distinguish you from things with contrary qualities. Your consciousness is still chained to your body when you experience ego death, which is why you can still subjectively experience anything; as you have a brain to process information. The LSD triggers a chemical reaction and your brain gives you a little show.

      To “escape” from the game, you simply need to lack the tool to subjectively experience anything. So, you need to stop reincarnating into bodies. But what does that actually mean? Is Skyrim waiting for you outside? Are you going to exist as a person of “pure energy” or whatever? I don’t think so. How would a “pure energy” being process information? It doesn’t have a brain to do so, it’s completely different in its qualities from what “you” are now, and you’re stupid if you think existing as it would be the same as being biological but “better”.

      You can believe in magic, but magic always follows rules; magic is not “whatever I feel like would be cool” That’s stupid. Effective magic is empirical and scientific in its nature. That’s why you’re researching 17th century demonology created by reasonable white people rather than nigger voodoo; and why nigger voodoo doesn’t effect white people even if it effects others other niggers. You know reason is the path to power, because it’s what works. Reason is what works because it is what is true; and knowing what is true allows you to engage more effectively with reality.

      There is no “outside” reality, reality existing outside of reality. There’s the reality you exist in. Even if there were realities existing outside of reality, you couldn’t and can’t know. Can reality be changed? of-course, it constantly changes, are there certain rules to do so? Yes, because at you a certain point “you” decided that was how it was to be. Are “you” fully aware of all the rules at all times? No, because that’s part of the game.

      The game is existence, and existence requires certain rules in order to ensure the quality of “existence” is maintained. “You” as in the Godhead/existence decided all the laws of physics long ago, there’s no such thing as deciding otherwise as there’s only one choice that’s ever going to made for every situation (causality); and nonexistence can’t actually exist by definition. (Though nonexistence, and subjectively experiencing nothing are two separate things. You still exist even if you experience nothing.)

      We do not fully understand the laws of physics, and how they interact with atoms and space, but we will. The Gods show the way.

      • Since you mistakenly replied to me, I’ll take the opportunity to respond. Your mind does not create your reality to the exclusion of anything outside of it – you are not the only thing that exists. There are forces, entities, etc. outside of yourself, which you can interact with. This should be self-evident, but there is no shortage of stupid ideas in this realm, solipsism being only one of many. We are creator deities, however – that part you do have correct.

        Not everything in this realm comes from the same original, creative force. This is another misconception that one must simply let go of, if they are to uncover the truth. It is more that, we are living inside of God’s corpse, and it is filled to the brim with parasitic organisms that exist overlaid in this reality in a way that the normal, standard biological senses do not perceive. These parasitic organisms come from an invading force of a hivemind-like nature, humanity are prisoners of war to something which occurred a very, very long time ago, and has been completely expunged from all historical records. This realm, it is a farm which these parasitic beings use, to extract energy from our souls. They are not mere ‘projections of the mind’ – they have an existence INDEPENEDENT of us, they can be FOUGHT against.

        If you are still thinking of this realm in terms of chemicals, physical processes and laws, biology, chemistry, whatever else, you are missing close to 100% of the complete picture. You have been bamboozled, brainwashed since birth to believe in lies. Even our languages, are a tool of oppression that are manipulated in their structure in an Orwellian fashion. This place is an energetic construct, a prison, with arbitrarily imposed laws overlaid upon it. These laws can be bent, they can be broken. Magic does not follow scientific rules, or at least any which have anything to do with the present structure of this reality as we typically are made to perceive it. It is intention-based, you use the energy intrinsic to your soul as a creator being.

        This is not a game, either. You are being farmed by a force that is hostile to you. If you want to know how to escape samsara, I suggest you begin energy training and looking into the compendium of information relating to near-death experiences, and memories of life-between-lives. You’ll probably want to anyway – most peoples’ thoughts and feelings are far more heavily manipulated than they realize. If you do not believe me, you can go ahead, continue to give your sovereignty away, continue to believe that you decided this for yourself, and reincarnate repeatedly into meatsuits. But there is far, far more going on under the surface of things than what you have been shown here in this realm.

        • By the way, addressed to Radagast specifically: I want you to really strongly consider these statements:

          > This is not a game, either. You are being farmed by a force that is hostile to you. Most peoples’ thoughts and feelings are far more heavily manipulated than they realize.

          In the context of some of the ideas that you have expressed in this post, particularly the ones relating to BDSM, thinking it ‘is a good thing to repeatedly lose’, that learning to enjoy suffering is a good solution to this predicament, that torture is simply a price to be paid for any form of enjoyment – all of it, really. I am rather concerned for you, at times. Psychedelics can have the nasty side effect of opening you up to the aforementioned parasitic forces in the nonmaterial layers of reality over time, which can become a problem when not properly addressed and mitigated. I think you are a smart person who values the truth, this is why I always reiterate that learning to energy train and perceive and wield your own intrinsic power, and to begin to discern what is really going on here, is something quite fundamental that most people lack at present and that could help you a lot.

          • Tryptie, just wanted to say I endorse your comment. I appreciate your concern for dear Radagast. I share your sentiments, but I fear his psychedelic use has untethered him from anything approaching “utility”.

            Thanks for saying the things, and doing the work, that I am far too exhausted to do.

            (His whole thing about BDSM and masochism gave me the “ick”. I don’t mind, I once felt the same when I was a Nietzsche devote. These days, I am fully Schopenhaurian.)

          • Of course Mehen, I care about the people who are stuck in this place. Humanity as a spiritual race, is a flower that never had a chance to bloom. “Broken hymen of Your Highness”, and all. If people really knew what this place was, they would weep a thousand tears, as I have. It’s bloodcurdling, it will destroy your life for years, but you can become stronger than you ever could have possibly imagined as well. Radagast hasn’t realized yet that his notions that humiliation benefits him somehow, are ideas planted in his mind by an enemy he has yet to fully perceive. He does not realize, that he is on the road to being brainwashed by hyperdimensional beings into an obscure form of spiritual cuckoldry. I’m simply trying to drive the point home, in this case, by spelling it out on harsh terms, because sometimes only a rude awakening helps.

  2. alright RR, you got me. i watched the first video and it was just a dude prattling on about collagen, and the only thing he noticed was his nails started growing faster; the rest was ambiguous at best. what did i miss that makes you think he’s close to “figuring it out,” whatever that means?

    yes, please do my homework for me. im 2 dum.

    • I thought that people who made videos like that all used filters so that they would look much younger than they really appear. I think even some people on my church zoom (not the traditional branch; I mean the local liberal branch) use zoom filters so they don’t look like a wreck on Sunday morning, and I don’t blame them. That collagen peptide guy probably actually looks like Joe Biden.

  3. As humans, we are infected with our thoughts expressed as symbols which have no connection to the real world. It is noise, a snake eating its tail, or a house of mirrors.

    • > As humans, we are infected with our thoughts expressed as symbols which have no connection to the real world. It is noise, a snake eating its tail, or a house of mirrors.

      Yes, exactly. See my transcription of the Ligotti poem later in this thread.

      “ I first learned the facts from a lunatic
      In a dark and quiet room that smelled of stale time and space:

      “There are no people”

      Nothing at all like that
      The human phenomenon is but the sum of densely coiled layers of illusion
      Each of which winds itself upon the supreme insanity —
      That there are persons of any kind

      When all that can be is mindless mirrors
      Laughing and screaming as they parade about
      In an endless dream

      But when I asked the lunatic what it was
      That saw itself within these mirrors
      As they marched endlessly in stale time and space
      He only looked and smiled
      Then he laughed and screamed

      And in his black and empty eyes
      I saw for a moment, as in a mirror
      A formless shade of divinity
      In flight from its stale infinity
      Of time and space and the worst of all
      Of this world’s dreams
      My special plan for the laughter
      And the screams

      -/-/-//

      It was twilight and I stood in a greyish haze of a vast empty building
      When the silence was enriched by a reverberant voice

      “All the things of this world,” it said
      Are of but one essence
      For which there are no words
      “This is the greater part which has no beginning or end.
      And the one essence of this world for which there can be no words
      Is but all the things of this world”

      “This is the lesser part which had a beginning and shall have an end.
      And for which words were conceived solely to speak of
      The tiny broken beings of this world,” it said
      “The beginnings and endings of this world,” it said
      For which words were conceived solely to speak of

      “Now remove these words and what remains?” it asked me
      As I stood in the twilight of that vast empty building
      But I did not answer
      The question echoed over and over
      But I remained silent until the echoes died
      And as twilight passed into the evening I felt my
      Special Plan (for which there are no words)
      Moving towards a greater darkness

  4. If you are seeking eternal life, there is always Christianity.

    On the magic angle, here is an essay by Paul Kingsnorth: https://paulkingsnorth.substack.com/p/do-what-thou-wilt

    JMG critiqued it, and the two debated it. Personally, I give that debate to Kingsnorth, but decide for yourself: https://www.ecosophia.net/the-way-of-participation-a-response-to-paul-kingsnorth/

    Kingsnorth equates science and magic and draws a distinction between them and Christianity.

    The crux of the matter, for me, appears to be magic/science being “do what thou wilt” versus Christianity’s “Thy will be done”

    One leads to death, the other to life everlasting.

    Choose wisely.

    • > The crux of the matter, for me, appears to be magic/science being “do what thou wilt” versus Christianity’s “Thy will be done”

      Are we puppets of our “Father” or do we possess a Divine Spark which rebels against our Fate?

      That is the question.

      • Most Christians are unwittingly worshipping Satan, because they have no idea what Jesus was actually talking about or saying. That’s why they follow the puppeteer.

      • I meant the ‘discussion’ between Kingsnorth and JMG boiled down to that for me, not that I thought that this was the ultimate answer to the ultimate question as to the meaning of life or anything like that.

        On the question of whether we are puppets, there’s a massive body of ideas ‘out there’ on free will, fate, and their relationship to divine plans or whatever, etc.

        I’ve been looking over some stuff here and there, trying to make sense of where I sit on it and, to be honest, I can’t land on a position that doesn’t seem to collapse.

        I might just have to accept what appears to be yet another paradox, among the squillions of other paradoxes, and move on.

        At least for today.

        • Okay, so here’s a thought:

          If there is such a thing as a ‘divine spark’, and also seemingly free will, it must come from a place free of external or internal influences of this universe.

          It must be able to spontaneously pop into existence from nothing.

          This sort of phenomenon has happened before – the evidence for this being the universe itself.

          One, if not the only, source of such phenomenon is God – God was around before cause and effect of this universe came into being – God is acausal.

          The ‘divine spark’ God gives might not be very strong – easily drowned out if one is not attuned to it, or isn’t actively attempting to listen to it, etc.

          So, can I reconcile the fact that 99% plus of the people in my city accepted the shots not just because they are easily controlled and compliant meatbots with no free will, but also because they are godless? Well, knowing these people as I do, yes, I think I can!

          A city of doomed, godless meatbots!

          It all fits 🙂

          • >If there is such a thing as a ‘divine spark’, and also seemingly free will, it must come from a place free of external or internal influences of this universe.

            I cannot speak for Tryptie, but I am unable to believe in any conception of “free will” whether in the context of a scientific/materialist/reductionist conception of the universe, or a so-called “mystical” conception of the universe.

            The very concept of “free will” is incoherent at its core.

            That’s the fascinating thing about it — it doesn’t matter which ontological or metaphysical bafflegab one believes in: the same logic traps apply.

            Even “God” cannot escape the compulsion to “act according to His nature”.

          • Perhaps it’s a phenomenon like light, which is paradoxically both particle and wave depending on how you look at it.

            It’s a pickle.

            As you know, I’m not convinced that free will exists, having seen 99% “vaccine” compliance after the right codes got entered into the brain boxes of the meatbots.

            However, just because 99% of people do something doesn’t necessarily mean in and of itself that they don’t have free will – they could also just be stupid, which they are.

            Godless, stupid, meatbots 😛

            Nevertheless, despite allowing for stupidity as another potential factor, logically, I can see the case that free will is a delusion.

            That said, I can also see a case that the whole universe doesn’t exist, because nothing just springs forth fully formed from Zues’s head, let alone a whole universe.

            And yet the evidence of my senses tells me that the universe exists and I live as if it does.

            Similarly, my rational mind might not believe free will exists, and yet I operate as though it does, even if it doesn’t, with a few exceptions.

            It’s a mystery, and like everything else, it might not be useful to think of it in purely rational and logical terms.

            Logically and rationally, it shouldn’t exist.

            But intuitively, there it is.

            And we have a paradox once again, as things flip-flop, depending on the attention one brings to it.

  5. Not just Jim Morrison that left us too early (or so the story goes, as you allude to) but also Hendrix, John Bonham, Keith Moon, Brian Jones, Janis Joplin, Mama Cass (crazy fact: she and Keith Moon died in the exact same bed in London, four years apart) and Kurt Cobain. Many of these aforementioned people are members of the infamous “27 club”. And whilst Syd Barrett didn’t initially leave us “physically”, he did leave us “mentally”, if you catch my drift.

    Regarding “looking young”, many of my zoomer co-workers at my last job thought that I was “one of them” whereas in reality I’m one of the last millennials. Something about people with ASD having neotenous features. One of them literally said to my face that I was lying when I told them I was 27. Granted that we were all wearing hats which hid my, uh, hairline.

  6. People tell me I look a little older, IDK I have a more experienced look. It can be a compliment if girls say it to you, because they usually like a guy who’s more experienced— and I haven’t heard it from the angle of ‘you look so weathered, wrinkly…’. LOL.

    I respect the moral angle, even though I don’t feel the same thing obviously. But at least it avoids endless debates where neither side will really budge.

    Collagen does help your skin. So does vitamin A, which you get from eating liver. People told me my skin looked good once I added it to my diet. Another reason why people looked better in the old days— they ate more liver. You’ll see that if you ever pick up old school cookbooks from before the low-fat craze (60s & 70s).

    And many vitamins are also fat soluble. No point in taking endless pills like Bryan Johnson, since you won’t absorb that stuff.

    • I think the eternal life people overestimate individual factors. Those matter, sure, but many of the long-lived people seem to come from rural small places where everyone knows each other and where the pace of life is relaxed. And remote.

      NOT high stress, anonymous, constantly in turmoil, high pressure, YUGE cities. Maybe being treated more like a widget in a high stakes competition makes you more stressed. And more stress and chaos overwhelms your defense systems. Whereas if you feel special and integrated you can invest more in maintaining things. IDK.

    • This woman has being applying vitamin A cream to her face for the last 20 years (she is early 40’s):

      https://youtu.be/EDGuUozWIUk?si=N33NlNln2BImdK7I

      She claims that she doesn’t do any fillers or Botox. Also she’s half Korean, which helps as Orientals genetically have thicker skin (“Asian don’t raisin” just like “black don’t crack”).

      For the last few years I had planned to start looking after my skin so that I could hopefully salvage some of my youth that I lost out on due to Asperger’s and social anxiety. But unfortunately it is too late for that, seeing as the collapse of civilization is now unfortunately imminent thanks to bastards Bourla and Bancel.

      Oh well. At least I can read about near death experiences, which gives me a sense of comfort. Here is a “copy and pasted” comment from YouTube:

      “We had our Sr. In House x ray engineer at the hospital die from factor 5 clotting for 42 minutes. He was revived after pulling out all the stops by the staff he is part of. He was literally dead for 42 minutes on the c arm flouro unit whole they were running the caths into him. He came back with no Brain problems. He told me privately he got sent back, for his wife. He said our lives on earth are a joke when looked at from the other side. He said the other side is reality, this is the dream. He said there in nothing but love on the other side. He just couldn’t stop saying that. He has not assimilated well in the last 10 years since it happened. He dropped all the things of the earth, and lives simply. He said he assimilated the knowledge of the universe when over there, but he couldn’t bring it back in the little brain and meat sack we occupy. He said we are all one, we just dont know it over here. He said we have free will here to bring the whole planet up or down. It’s strictly up to us. And that everything you do has a ripple effect on the entire planet. Even your thoughts.”

      (Note: don’t worry, I am not currently suicidal)

    • “People tell me I look a little older, IDK I have a more experienced look. It can be a compliment if girls say it to you, because they usually like a guy who’s more experienced”

      Says the old dude who smells like fried liver. If you say so.

      • “Old dude” — in my twenties hehe.

        Never been told my skin looks bad/weathered/grizzled, just that I look a few years older/ more mature in general. Which is a compliment. Women want a guy who’s still young, but is slightly older than them.

        Maybe not the misanthropes, but normal women do.

  7. In terms of my own life expectancy and long term health, I take no supplements. Sometimes when I’m tired and don’t want to cook I just eat a decent amount of cheese along with some milk, since our bodies are made to run on fat.

    • My ancestors (on both sides) were proud Indo-European sheep-herders, not farmers, so this little ritual is a way of connecting with their way of life.

  8. Rad…I am sorry to say…this blog post is one of your….less than ideal (shall we say)…entries.

    It’s ok, every writer occasionally hits a bum streak.

    As I read it I found dozens of items to comment upon, and started to formulate a true EffortPoast, but I am feeling exhausted and drunk and seem to have just lost the motivation.

    So for now, I will just repost something I posted months ago. Current 93’s performance of a Thomas Ligotti poem, which captures the true nature of this Dark Realm, and expresses my feelings beautifully.

    https://youtu.be/lxZpEFJhO6k?si=DZsagqBvChbcPfNy

    • Btw, I once had an acquaintance who expressed the wish that when he died, that all those he knew would gather at the viewing, the undertaker would bolt the doors closed from the outside, and everyone would be forced to listen to this track in its entirety.

      Pretty hardcore.

    • When everyone you have ever loved is finally gone
      When everything you have ever wanted is finally done with
      When all of your nightmares are for a time obscured
      As by a shining brainless beacon
      Or a blinding eclipse of the many terrible shapes of this world
      When you are calm and joyful
      And finally entirely alone
      Then in a great new darkness
      You will finally execute your special plan

      “One needs to have a plan,” someone said, who was turned away into the shadows
      And who I had believed was sleeping or dead
      “Imagine,” he said, “all the flesh that is eaten”
      The teeth tearing into it
      The tongue tasting its savour
      And the hunger for that taste
      “Now take away that flesh,” he said
      Take away the teeth and the tongue
      The taste and the hunger
      Take away everything as it is

      That was my plan
      My own special plan for this world

      I listened to these words and yet I did not wonder
      If this creature whom I had thought sleeping or dead would ever approach his vision
      Even in his deepest dreams
      Or his most lasting death

      Because I had heard of such plans, such visions
      And I knew they did not see far enough
      But what was demanded in a way of a plan
      Needed to go beyond tongue and teeth and hunger and flesh
      Beyond the bones and the very dust of bones and the wind that would come to blow the dust away

      And so I began to envision a darkness that was long before the dark of night
      And a strangely shining light that owed nothing to the light of day

      That day may seem like other days
      Once more, we feel the tiny legged trepidations
      Once more we are mangled by a great grinding fear
      But that day will have no others after
      No more worlds like this will follow
      Because I have a plan
      A very special plan
      No more worlds like this
      No more days like that

      “There are but four ways to die,” a sardonic spirit might have said to me
      There is dying that occurs relatively suddenly
      There is dying that occurs relatively gradually
      There is dying that occurs relatively painlessly
      There is the death that is full of pain

      Thus by various means they are combined
      The sudden and the gradual
      The painless and the painful
      To yield but four ways to die
      And there are no others

      Even after the voice stopped speaking
      I listened for it to speak again
      After hours and day and years have passed
      I listened for some further words
      Yet all I heard were the faintest echoes reminding me
      There are no others
      There are no others…

      Was it then that I began to conceive for this world…
      A special plan?

      There are no means for escaping this world
      It penetrates even into your sleep
      And is its substance
      You are caught in your own dreaming
      Where there is no space
      And a Hell forever where there is no time
      You can do nothing you aren’t told to do
      There is no hope for escape from this dream
      That was never yours
      The very words you speak are only Its very words
      And you talk like a traitor
      Under its incessant torture

      There are many who have designs upon this world
      And dream of wild and vast reformations
      I have heard them talking in their sleep
      Of elegant mutations
      And cunning annihilations

      I have heard them whispering in the corners of crooked houses
      And in the alleys and narrow back streets of this crooked creaking universe
      Which they, with their new designs, were made straight and sound

      But each of these new and ill conceived designs
      Is deranged in its heart
      For they see this world as if it were alone and original
      And not as only one of countless others
      Whose nightmares all precede
      Like a hideous garden grown from a single seed
      I have heard these dreamers talking in their sleep
      And I stand waiting for them
      As at the top of a darkened flight of stairs
      They know nothing of me
      And none of the secrets of my special plan
      While I know every crooked creaking step of theirs…

      It was the voice of someone who was waiting in the shadows
      Who was looking at the moon and waiting for me to turn the corner
      And enter a narrow street
      And stand with him in the dull glaze of moonlight
      Then he said to me
      He whispered
      That my plan was misconceived
      That my special plan for this world was a terrible mistake
      “Because,” he said, “there is nothing to do and there is nowhere to go”
      “There is nothing to be, and there is no one to know”

      “Your plan is a mistake,” he repeated
      “This world is a mistake,” I replied

      The children always followed him
      When they saw him hopping by
      A funny walk
      A funny man
      A funny, funny, funny man
      He made them laugh, sometimes
      He made them laugh, oh yes he did
      He did, he did, he did, he did
      Oh how he made them roll
      One day he took them to a place
      He knew a special place
      And told them things about this world
      This funny, funny, funny world
      Which made them laugh, sometimes
      He made them laugh, oh yes he did
      He did, he did, he did, he did
      Oh how he made them roll

      Then the funny man who made them laugh
      (Sometimes he did)
      Revealed to them his special plan
      His very special funny plan
      Knowing they would understand
      And maybe laugh sometimes
      He made them laugh
      Oh yes he did
      He did, he did, he did, he did
      Their eyes grew wide beneath their lids
      And how he made them roll

      I first learned the facts from a lunatic
      In a dark and quiet room that smelled of stale time and space:

      “There are no people”

      Nothing at all like that
      The human phenomenon is but the sum of densely coiled layers of illusion
      Each of which winds itself upon the supreme insanity —
      That there are persons of any kind

      When all that can be is mindless mirrors
      Laughing and screaming as they parade about
      In an endless dream

      But when I asked the lunatic what it was
      That saw itself within these mirrors
      As they marched endlessly in stale time and space
      He only looked and smiled
      Then he laughed and screamed

      And in his black and empty eyes
      I saw for a moment, as in a mirror
      A formless shade of divinity
      In flight from its stale infinity
      Of time and space and the worst of all
      Of this world dreams
      My special plan for the laughter
      And the screams

      We went to see some little show
      That was staged in an old shed
      Past the edge of town
      And in its beginnings all seemed well
      The miniature curtain stage glowed in the darkness
      While those dolls bounced along on their strings before our eyes
      And in its beginnings all seemed well
      But then there came a subtle turning point which some have noticed
      And I was one who quietly left the show
      Though I did not
      Because I could see where things were going
      As the antics of those dolls grew strange
      And the fragile strings grew taut
      With their tiny pullings, tiny limbs

      The others around me became appalled
      And turned away and abandoned the show
      That was staged in an old shed
      Past the edge of town

      But I wanted to witness what could never be –
      I wanted to see what could not be seen –
      The moment of consummate disaster
      When puppets turned to face the puppet master

      It was twilight and I stood in a greyish haze of a vast empty building
      When the silence was enriched by a reverberant voice

      “All the things of this world,” it said
      Are of but one essence
      For which there are no words
      “This is the greater part which has no beginning or end.
      And the one essence of this world for which there can be no words
      Is but all the things of this world”

      “This is the lesser part which had a beginning and shall have an end.
      And for which words were conceived solely to speak of
      The tiny broken beings of this world,” it said
      “The beginnings and endings of this world,” it said
      For which words were conceived solely to speak of

      “Now remove these words and what remains?” it asked me
      As I stood in the twilight of that vast empty building
      But I did not answer
      The question echoed over and over
      But I remained silent until the echoes died
      And as twilight passed into the evening I felt my
      Special Plan (for which there are no words)
      Moving towards a greater darkness

      There are some who have no voices
      Or none that will ever speak
      Because of the things they know about this world
      And the things they feel about this world
      Because the thoughts that fill a brain
      That is a damaged brain
      Because the pain that fills a body
      That is a damaged body
      Exists in other worlds
      Countless other worlds
      Each of which stands alone in an infinite empty blackness
      For which no words are being conceived
      And where no voices are able to speak

      When a brain is filled only with damaged thoughts
      When a damaged body is filled only with pain
      And stands alone in a world surrounded by infinite empty blackness
      And exists in a world for which there is no Special Plan

      When everyone you have ever loved is finally gone
      When everything you have ever wanted is finally done with
      When all of your nightmares are for a time obscured
      As by a shining brainless beacon
      Or a blinding eclipse of the many terrible shapes of this world
      When you are calm and joyful
      And finally entirely alone
      Then in a great new darkness
      You will finally execute your special plan

  9. “If I eventually end up dying, I don’t want to be buried or cremated. I want my skin to be turned into leather (…) or feed it to wild animals like vultures.”

    Years ago I intended to create a business to feed bodies to wild animals instead of burying or cremating them (still a plan for the future)

    I kinda believe that cemeteries are cursed to be buried in (so much so that it’s a recurring theme in human literature) and I’m afraid cremation is so extreme and unnatural that it might disturb the natural-spiritual connection between life and a possible post-life.
    Being eaten by other creatures feels the most like the way nature intended.

    • >Your main issue is that you still don’t know who you are. You are basically manechian practitioner but you don’t want to accept it.

      Sounds legit.

      Now, which others do we know whom have fully endorsed the Dualistic Split?

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The patients in the mental ward have had their daily dose of xanax and calmed down it seems, so most of your comments should be automatically posted again. Try not to annoy me with your low IQ low status white male theories about the Nazi gas chambers being fake or CO2 being harmless plant food and we can all get along. Have fun!

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