You know what I do when I feel really suicidal? Writing is therapeutic, but I also like to watch some horrifying real-life videos of people dying in horrible ways. It always makes me feel better. My therapists don’t want me to take psychedelics anymore, which were the one thing that always worked for me, so this became the new thing that works for me.
I’m not going to upload these videos to my own blog because I don’t know whether the host will allow that, but I’ll link you to my favorite videos.
Here’s one of my true favorites. A guy kills his ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend and then kills himself, all in front of her. What really works for me here are her screams of terror.
Here’s another of my favorites. A wife finds her husband cheating with his mistress. After killing the husband with her knife, she goes after the mistress, who can be seen wandering down stairs with blood pouring from her body, before the wife continues stabbing her after she collapsed on the ground. Amazingly, the mistress survived this.
Take a good look at the output of my mind. This is what you get on 375mg of Venlafaxine, the highest dose they’ll give you before they push the next bullshit that doesn’t work. They’ve been happily switching from an SSRI to an SNRI, then gradually escalating the dose and waiting six weeks for the results, for over a year now. They’ve done EMDR on my traumas.
None of it really seems to work. They just let me suffer like this. They’re even delaying the next switch by two weeks, because they’re going on vacation.
I’m writing down my thoughts, precisely because I know they are not normal. They’re pathological. But I want people to see how little they do for you in the Netherlands when you are suffering severe depression. How they just continue to let you get worse for over a year, while you tell them you are suicidal.
And I want you to see what the consequences are. How I am just consumed by thoughts that are destroying me, while nothing is being done for me that works. I am trying to get better, but not receiving the help I need.
In the past, when I treated myself with cannabis and psychedelics, my mind was more flexible. For example, this is kind of awkward to explain, but I would be able to think to myself: “Why should I care whether she has ex-boyfriends, if my penis is bigger than theirs?” That may seem like a stupid thought to you, but it gave me some peace with the idea of being intimate with an experienced woman again.
However, that thought has by now been entirely neutralized by the idea that women don’t care about that sort of stuff anyway. I can not overwrite the first boyfriend registered in her mind.
This is what depression does, it gradually cuts off all your lifelines. And the worst part is, that while you’re in it, the depressive state feels very rational, while looking back at any moments when you were not depressed start to feel like your judgement was clouded back then. Any counter-arguments I can think of to what the depression asks of me feel powerless. The depression will now only accept one thing, or else, suicide.
It reminds me of what Elliot Rodger describes in his manifesto. Dumb leftoid Reddit guys will say stuff like: “He didn’t approach girls!!!” Well yeah, that’s the thing. What Elliot craved, was validation from a woman. That validation could only come from the woman seeking out him. None of them ever did that, so what the depression left over for him as his only lifeline, was never activated. Like me, he had a fragile ego due to a history of bullying and nobody would give him the validation that his ego required to strengthen again.
Similarly, I just can’t accept being an afterthought to a woman. I can’t accept just being “one of her exes”. You can call it narcissism if you want. But narcissism at the core is down to a fragile ego. I remember this friend of me complaining to me her Tinder hookup was bad at sex because he “respects women too much”. I was somewhat horrified, by the idea that guy could have been me. My ego is too fragile for that. If I’m going to have sex with a woman, I always need to occupy a special place in her mind, for the rest of her life.
I’m still planning on ending it once the conditions are there that make it easier for me, which should be in a few months. It will be pretty straightforward, painless and leave a clean body, with no real chance of failure. I have been planning this for months.
I don’t understand why more people don’t commit suicide. Medieval peasants could marry a virgin, the droit du seigneur was an urban myth invented during the french revolution.
But a bunch of you are married to a woman who had a more socially dominant extraverted and self-confident guy registered in her mind. It doesn’t seem to bother you at all, which I don’t comprehend. It really surprises me how few people actually commit suicide and just accept life in a subservient position.
But I have not yet given up all hope. Maybe the lady I meet tomorrow can offer me what I need to enter the next phase of my life. It’s possible. I will try to behave like a normal person and focus the conversation on what we have in common. I will not bring a gift to the first date, the consensus on the Internet is that doing so is cringe.
In addition, my friend has offered me 5-meo-dmt. I have had it before, it works to introduce different thoughts into my brain. I will be taking a bigger dose of it this time, I know just the spot to do it, there will not be any normies with dogs.
Some of you may wonder why I do not plan on going postal. I have no desire to do so, because I trust my enemies will get what they deserve eventually. One of them has already suffered a spinal injury. He can no longer walk or have proper sexual intercourse. Dead people don’t suffer, only alive ones do.
Maybe people will be reading this post once I am dead. If so, I just want you to know that I tried what options I had available to me, even as the darkness was consuming me.
I have been struggling with this problem for most of my life and since I was told to stop taking cannabis and psychedelics, I have been gradually losing the battle.
Let my life serve as an example of the consequences of the stigmatization of natural medicine and the failure of the Western medical establishment.
You know what’s funny? I’ve been finding the exact same thing. The course of my life has been disaster after disaster, so although I never went the same direction with it or had the exact same problems you did, we’ve always somewhat been on a wavelength. It’s funny because I’m in a position in life now that some find enviable, but no matter what I accomplish or what position I navigate to in life, the bad thoughts never go away. The bad feelings never go away. I read books and learn about myself, learn about development, learn about feelings, try to “release” or “process” emotions relating to things that happened decades ago or background and context on the circumstances of my present, and nothing ever really works in the sense that this goes away. Rather, I just become more aware, of self, of others, and of the nature of my own pains. While it is not complete, part of me is seriously beginning to entertain the hypothesis that time doesn’t really heal much at all, and that healing and the sense of feeling better might be a myth. Perhaps for some of us, a sort of tragic beauty is the… Read more »
Hi Rintrah. You are my favorite poster of all. Just wanted to say it.
Hang in there.
I would offer to take you out to lunch and would pay for lunch if I were nearby.
I had my own disillusionment to work through, myself.
Organize a Slavic woman for him, perhaps a Bulgarian.
I wish you well for your date tomorrow Rintrah and really hope that you are both compatible with each other.
Thanks.
I care man. I’m dutch and know what the system is like. I would be very sad to see you go.
Please reach out email me and I’ll send you my number. I might be able to offer you a place to stay get you in another environment for a bit. Or just talk, I would be very happy to.
I experience the shift from positive to negative thoughts daily, and learned to cope the best I can. The negative thoughts aren’t you, yes for the moment they are inescapeable but they aren’t true.
Thanks, I appreciate it.
Kairo, if you are Dutch you need to call the Netherlands authorities and tell them about Rintrah’s situation. I just tried calling a bunch of such numbers that I found online and they are not working; I don’t know if they are the wrong numbers or if I am dialing them wrong. It is very possible that they already know that he is this badly depressed, but they may not. If you tell me the right number and how to use it from the U.S. I will call.
A world in which I don’t get to read Rintrah posts? No bro, it’s not right. There’s supposed to be a happy ending for you.
I hope you find a path forward. Go back on the cannabis and just go out in nature. Walking and biking for hours. I looked at the videos it only reminded me of the times I had to take people and animals to emergency care. You turn into a machine that blocks everything out.
Rintrah, I now suspect you’re fucking with us because it amuses you to see our reactions, but if you’re serious could you leave me your bicycle in your will and a sum sufficient for me to go visit Thailand?
You have my email.
Thank you.
Rintrah, this is very bad. Venlafaxine is just Effexor, and EMDR is nonsense. They are giving you middle aged suburban lady meds. You need to go back in for a little while; maybe a few weeks. You don’t have to be on antipsychotics permanently; just for a period of time. You will have to believe that I understand; I have a relative who has similar symptoms. He goes into a locked facility then, involuntarily; 911 is called and an ambulance takes him. He is stabilized. After he gets out, a week or two later, he admits he is glad he was in, because he is glad to be alive. Getting to the point of desensitizing yourself with images of violence is a bad stage. If your relatives are not enough attuned this to call the equivalent of 911, then you can get yourself committed by making an assertion of a plan to the right people. That is sufficient in the U.S. If it is not sufficient where you are, then push harder, but do not hurt yourself or anyone one else (not that you would hurt anyone else). I will pray for you. I hope Tryptie does the equivalent. Since… Read more »
>They are giving you middle aged suburban lady meds.
Yes, they are, thank you.
>You need to go back in for a little while; maybe a few weeks.
This won’t solve anything.
>If it is so fabulous to have sex with a virgin, and makes a person whole and gives them significance, why should you get that and not the woman (since you aren’t a virgin)?
Alright. Since you insist, I am in fact still a technical virgin. She wanted me to wear a condom, but the thought of doing so repulsed me enough for me to just never go ahead with it, which is probably part of the reason it was never a functional relationship. Now you know.
Well, then that makes it fair, I admit. If she didn’t have any other contraceptive then she did the right thing at the time. Since she wasn’t ready to have kids. Were you ready to have kids??? There are a lot of guys in your situation; you shouldn’t take it to heart. I assure you that being a virgin can be remedied by both men and women. In some indigenous cultures young men were trained to sex by experienced women. I just found some by looking online but you could search too. I’m not saying you should seek out a middle aged old school Hawaiian lady, but it’s hardly a bad thing to sleep with someone who knows what he or she is doing. A guy I volunteer with finally slept with a woman for the first time when he was in his 60s. Unfortunately that lady was massively messed up and it didn’t turn into a proper relationship (to say the least), but it gave him a small amount of confidence and now he is in his early 70s and is dating his second girlfriend, who was the hottest girl in his high school class. Being hospitalized again will… Read more »
>it’s hardly a bad thing to sleep with someone who knows what he or she is doing
Yeah I have no interest in that at all.
>don’t pester her about her sexual past since it is not your business; she would lie anyway.
Oh you think I’m dumb enough to ask it straightforwardly?
Well, you’re dumb enough to be obsessed with this virginity thing, so yes. Sorry but women are genetically selected to deceive, lol, and especially to deceive guys with this particular dumbass obsession. Those guys are the easiest to fool.
By the way, you wrote that you wanted to sleep with a virgin in part so that you wouldn’t be compared with past males, and so that you would permanently be unique. However, you seem to be forgetting that when she afterwards sleeps with other guys she will be comparing you with them, just as you would be comparing her to your future partners.
>Sorry but women are genetically selected to deceive
Oh they won’t even know they need to deceive me. Any woman who already gave her gift to another man will step right into my trap.
>you seem to be forgetting that when she afterwards sleeps with other guys she will be comparing you with them, just as you would be comparing her to your future partners.
I don’t really care. What I care about is that I get to see her face as she experiences these sensations for the first time.
And I care about the fact that she’ll always have some memory of me in her mind. Not as an afterthought, but as her primary association with sex.
No, you won’t be her primary association with sex. The last guy she slept with will be; that or the most skillful guy she slept with. That is how it works. You have a totally false understanding of female psychology. You are just making stuff up about females. I had a friend years ago and she wasn’t even sure which guy she slept with first, lol, I’ll admit that is a little extreme but not entirely.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/190crc/do_you_have_an_emotional_attchment_to_the_person/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/1kgt7p/do_you_feel_bonded_to_the_person_you_lost_your/
This seems to fit your suggestion.
But frankly, this just makes my worries worse.
It means I’ll never have a special bond with ANYONE.
Everyone is effectively interchangeable to everyone.
Rad, women reside on a spectrum of what “experts” call “sociosexuality”.
Some women are “restrained” versus others whom are “unrestrained”
I’m sure you know this.
You are seeking the impossible: a woman with restrained sociosexuality who will be a passionate lover.
I’m sorry to say, that’s just not how it works.
I came to this conclusion — kicking and screaming — many, many years ago.
I’m sorry you are having to process this reality at your age.
I have to thank you for posting those reddit links since they are extremely funny. To me anyway. It’s too bad that they are locked so I can’t do any upvoting. I see that the answer is universally no, which is what I was saying.
What I wonder is why you didn’t check to see what women actually experience, rather than go on some internet male fantasy. Anyway, now you know.
What you are describing is a challenge for everyone. It takes work to form a bond with another person. And time. Sleeping with another person isn’t some sort of cheap trick to bypass that effort. Guess what, if you want this bond you need to put years into it. It is worth it. And no, the person one forms a real bond with is not interchangeable with anyone else. But a roll in the hay does not form a real bond at all. See, you now have a reason to live for a decent period of time.
It’s weird, but reading those comments really seem to have cured me of the desire to find a virgin.
It doesn’t seem there’s any significant imprinting on the first guy a woman has sex with.
A few don’t even seem to remember who the first guy was.
If you want to see my cock just try asking friendly you pervert, don’t ask me to break my back for you, I’m not 15 anymore.
“ No, you won’t be her primary association with sex. The last guy she slept with will be; that or the most skillful guy she slept with. That is how it works.”
I thought *I* was skilled at intellectually sadistic knife-twisting, but I have nothing on Karen.
Tip-of-the-hat to you, my dear.
Karen is deliberately looshing you rn btw
No, I am not. I am telling him the truth.
Do you think he should be seeking out a virgin as such? Or that he should be seeking out someone who is kind whom he gets along with? If you think the former, you are suggesting harmful behavior.
Its unrelated to your arguments themselves, it’s something energetic you were doing. It’s extremely common behaviour in ‘humans’, I just wanted radagast to know so if he felt abnormally shitty during the interaction that he wouldn’t blame himself for it.
Isn’t that amazing?
Tryptie with his supernatural powers was able to discern that Karen was looshing Radagast, not with her arguments, but “energetically.”
Yeah, I mean it’s not that hard. You can pick up on all kinds of things when you’re energetically sensitive. I also have a pretty good idea of the underlying stuff behind how Radagast has been feeling lately and why (beyond the obvious), and who in this chat is a hylic/NPC versus someone with a soul, and roughly if people are in a good energetic state or not. It’s all stuff that comes with becoming sensitive to energy, which is what happens when you train for a while. You would know this too and be able to do the same sorts of things if you would or could energy train, yourself.
What I will add to this, it is technically more accurate to say that an entity was acting through Karen. In the majority of the cases where this kind of thing happens, the person themselves is not really aware of what they are doing, or they may be partially aware or semi-conscious that they are behaving with sadistic intent but may not fully understand why. This is an extremely common behaviour, you yourself frequently do it as well to various people, though I don’t actually believe you’re really aware that you do. Anyway, it’s extremely common behaviour, it just irks me to see it happen to people who are already in a vulnerable mental state, though this is quite common too as they are often picked out as targets by the entities. Fortunately, you can usually block out things like that with a good energy shield, which is a technique I recommend learning btw. Most humans are actually evil the majority of the time, they behave as semi-conscious herd animals and this is the reason why for example practices such as factory farming and environmental destruction are so prevalent. This world operates in part like a stacked hierarchy where each… Read more »
There was no entity acting through Karen.
She’s energetically trying to shame Radagast out of suicide, just as Cyber Viking is, but these shaming arguments aren’t working with him.
You can’t shame a person out of suicide. In my experience, suicidals are those who have no dignity left to hurt. Besides, nobody has ever heard this UR LARPER PUSSY SOYSLOP NORMIEFAG LOL LMAO SPLOOMER small dick internet rhetoric and though “you know, he has a point”.
And make no mistake, tryptie is using shaming too. “Do my woowoo shit or you’re a sheeple!”. While it’s not as obvious as before, he’s just really vindictive and ugly on the inside. Look at this paragraph on hierarchy and humiliation. It’s not reflective of reality, only of the sewer in his head. Such relations exist only among jews, serbs, homosexuals, and people with anime girl profile pictures, or in other words people with inferiority complexes.
Like I said before, the way 99% of ‘humans’ treat animals, is the exact image of how the archons treat humans. I’ve observed enough of you to know precisely what kinds of beings you are. The “woowoo shit” is my friendly suggestion for a way to climb out of your present predicament, because on your current trajectory you and many others will spend an eternity consuming and being consumed by demons in a hell which continues to degrade over time until it becomes something more horrifying than you can imagine. You’re free to take my advice, or leave it – it is entirely up to you.
How is it that despite all your sanctimony and claims of being so special and above it all, you’re still just a walking anime girl profile pic stereotype. All the seething delusions of superiority, putting humans in quotation marks, poorly masked anger at the world, fantasies of being raped by demons. Like a real rape victim would ever use the words ”literally assraped”.
As for your Very Important Advice, let me tell you this: people will care when they see a person whose life is worth living practice it. We care about Rin because he opened himself up to us – we know how he lives, we know where his perspectives come from, he’s fine with us knowing that. You? You’re all talk, and everyone can see it. You get two years of education in some energy training or whatever, all of a sudden you’re in the position to smart-boy at Jesus Christ. Get over yourself.
I know I’ve mentioned my kundalini awakening experiences several times before in the past. It was absolutely rape, and it came with quite a bit of trauma which I’ve mostly worked through by now though it took years – the way I phrased it was sardonically quoting Cyber Viking.
As for the rest of what you said, you can believe what you’d like to. Good luck dude. It’s up to you, but I wouldn’t wish this on you.
Attempting to shame someone out of suicide is absurd. What I see in her post, is effectively an internet bully who is attempting to invalidate his feelings in general. Maybe you can say Radagast is seeing his situation out of proportion due to his feelings and past circumstances, but you would never want to say something like, “your feelings are stupid, and women are just going to lie to you (there are some good women out there, so this is just untrue in the general case), and they are right to do so”. I see that she is also now trying to find a way to get Radagast institutionalized merely for making a cry for help online, expressing his frustration, etc. Neither bullying somebody online, nor seeking to get them locked in a psych ward, does anything to help with someone’s depression at all, having been on the receiving end of both things in my life. If anything, psych wards usually make things worse, because they’re dehumanizing. And none of you, including her, know anything about the guy’s personal life or circumstances either. These behaviours are something that you would expect to see from somebody who has no real compassion… Read more »
No-one likes to be involuntarily committed. The person finds it embarrassing and demeaning and then they get mad and they want to blame someone; anyone they can find. Just the memory of it will cause them to seek someone to be mad at.
Of course, there were certain obvious upsides to their hospitalization that they never remark on.
I was most definitely not trying to shame Rintrah. I was trying to convince him that his “find true bond by sleeping with a virgin” plan made no sense, and he looked and got info and agreed. That is not shaming; that is reasoning.
You’re the sex-shame Catholic, not me; don’t project that stuff on someone who doesn’t suffer from it.
You sure say a lot of favorable things about fornication for someone who claims the Christian religion.
Charlie accuses me of being a petty religious moralist. You accuse me of being an anti-Christian advocate of fornification. Maybe the two of you should sort this out.
Hey. Racist furry who used to be a regular commenter here. I can relate to how you feel and appreciate you spilling your heart out with such clarity. For whatever it’s worth to you, you are heard and understood. All I can do is wish you the best.
Thanks.
I don’t understand you.
You are young, tall, high IQ, not bad looking, you have lots of money, and you live among your own people. You’re far better off than me and yet I’m not anything like as miserable as you.
You’re too obsessed with women.
I don’t know why, I’m not a psychiatrist, but that biological impulse seems to be at the core of your sad mental state. Is it a mother issue?
Everybody is going to have suggestions for you. Here’s mine. Take a vacation from the Netherlands, travel to America (you’ve never been here, right?) and camp out here in the Hoh rainforest in the Olympic Peninsula for a week. Forest bathing among old growth forest and amazing ferns should do wonders for your mental state.
Or go have fun in Thailand. You like Asian pussy. You have that option that I don’t financially.
Do you seriously think that when the gate agents at U.S. customs look at his internet usage (and they do that these days when you come in as a tourist; actually you have to list your internet usage on your U.S. visa application before you even set off) and see crap like “Elliot Rodgers did Nothing Wrong” and the first part of this post that they would let him in? Really? What planet do you live on? Planet 1975? He can go other places, however.
All he has to do is tell them that he is visiting for gender reassignment surgery.
I should probably refrain from commenting further on this blog, given my own “weirdness”, but I see now that Rad is more “weird” than I, and more weird than I previously assumed.
But I think your recommendation/advice is probably the most practical of the bunch.
I’m not sure I understand Karen’s outburst at your suggestion.
But I’m inebriated (as usual).
Charlie and I debated this before. Not long ago he told Rintrah that he should visit the U.S. and I said it wouldn’t work because of Rintrah’s internet past (of course there’s the rest of the world for Rintrah to visit, and maybe the laws will change back to the old open system).
Charlie said that he’d never seen anything written by Rintrah that could be a problem. So, here are two hugely problematic posts, and Charlie doesn’t see that it’s an issue. The police staters whom he voted for (as opposed to the other side’s police staters) put this in place. These days if someone travels to the U.S. their internet history is checked before they are given a visa.
“ These days if someone travels to the U.S. their internet history is checked before they are given a visa.”
Are you sure this is true?
.
Yes, I am sure. I just posted a very long AI generated answer (which I know is true from my own reading in the past). Its formatting triggered the moderator review so I cancelled it.
Just google “if a european wants a visa to the U.S. is their internet history checked?” and you will see. Among other things you are required to list all of the social media handles you have used in the past five years:
“During the application process, you are required to list all social media usernames and platforms you have used in the past five years. Officials look for content that promotes extremist views, violence, unauthorized work, or criminal activity.”
I don’t think Rintrah has actually advocated anything like that. However, I don’t think his blog would make a favorable impression on the federal agents checking, and check they do.
Why can’t they just lie?
Because if you enter the U.S. and they find out that you lied they put you in a very unpleasant detention center.
There’s a reason tourism to the U.S. is way down.
https://x.com/stoyatel/status/2062759687263543633?s=46
Don’t let the numbers win.
Don’t let the (((numbers))) win.
The guy us a Jew. He has automatic entry.
In case you missed it, here’s an excerpt from this post that you should pay really close attention to: “I’m still planning on ending it once the conditions are there that make it easier for me, which should be in a few months. It will be pretty straightforward, painless and leave a clean body, with no real chance of failure. I have been planning this for months.” This proves antidepressants don’t work and they make people worse. I’ve been reading this blog for a couple year’s now at least and ever since he’s been on the meds he’s been getting worse. Seriously, he’s worse now than when he was using salvia and datura, and things were getting bad then, but nowhere near as bad as they are now. Another thing to keep in mind is that all the big name school shooter cases, Columbine, Sandy Hook, etc. what they all had in common is that all the killers were all on anti-depressants. Though perhaps Rintrah knows that if he doesn’t kill himself he’ll kill others, in which cases it may be the lesser of two evils, but something tells me that he’s getting the wrong treatment, and is seeing the… Read more »
I’ve followed you for a long time and this sounds very familiar to me. Are you absolutely sure you don’t have BPD?
MALE BPD is totally different from female presentation. Black and white thinking, constant mood swings, extremist views that switched regularly, keeping everyone at a distance, never emotionally relying on anybody, hyper vigilance, low-level dissociation, high level dissociation during stress, poor autobiographical memory, lack of coherent self.
Medications generally don’t work for this.
Here’s a good blog about it: https://armchairdeductions.wordpress.com/2018/09/16/chaos-and-elucidation-the-borderline-koan/
Also if that blog is too much, check out this instead. It’s more direct and detailed
https://psychscenehub.com/psychinsights/borderline-personality-disorder/
I don’t think he has BPD
Igor!
Long time, no see.
🫡
I still check your inactive substack from time to time.
BPD in women is the stereotype so you think guys don’t have it. But a big slice of guys in federal prison are BPD.
This post is very BPD coded but diagnosis takes years for most
Love you too.
What do you think it is then?
If I were to guess I’d say schizophrenia, but I now know that is a fictitious illness, so my next guess would be poisoning by a combination of pharmaceutical agent and environmental toxins which includes psychological warfare and brainwashing.
It has all the telltale signs of a personality disorder. He’s a very smart man, very creative mind, but has not been in a relationship for a very long time, has extreme views, but is reaching out via this blog to socialize. Psychedelic drugs don’t really put a dent in personality disorders even though they expand certain parts of your mind.
I am assuming traumatic childhood and mentally unwell parents. My BPD is a combination of both genetics and environment, in my opinion. But I think BPD is almost 70% heritable.
He doesn’t seem schizoid, or narcissistic, or sociopathic. BPD. Extremely under diagnosed in men. It is very similar symptoms to high masking autism. Which Rintrah seems to have or at least claimed to have ironically.
But unlike autism, BPD will cause rapid shifts into suicidal depression and then manic grandiosity. It can look like an autistic meltdown, but it’s a completely different thing. We also share symptoms of sensory processing disorder. A key thing though is experiencing dissociation. Which is really helpful when you’re watching a video of somebody being murdered.
Not schizoid? It fits like a glove. Don’t read the DSM 5 for this, it is useless on schizoid. Read Guntrip. His criteria:
Autism is an exclusion criterium according to the DSM, because the symptoms are so similar. In this age, all introverts eventually get an autism spectrum (mis)diagnosis, so you never get diagnosed as schizoid.
Always in his head, too much intellectualizing, difficulties with relationships. Maybe depersonalization and regression were part of his recent accident?
I’ve never actually had sex with my wife, even though she makes herself available to me and I could do whatever I want with her. It just doesn’t mean anything to me, and she’s now at the point where she accepts it without getting mad at me. I hope you get to that point too.
What is your relationship like? Ever thought of doing it just for her?
I tried, but it’s not possible without sexual desire.
She is not ugly, it’s just me who see sexual desire as an annoying burden.
I can help.
You need to follow this doctor:
https://www.breitbart.com/news/4f18c951-0a0e-4e0e-a883-f791c6adb54e/
Wombat might know more – but his methods seemed to work.
Have I mentioned my wife is crack-addicted?
For men the magical combination appears to be Viagra combined with blow – according to trusted de-registered doctors.
There are high blood pressure concerns regarding that combination
“ For men the magical combination appears to be Viagra combined with blow – according to trusted de-registered doctors.”
IME, the best combination is meth with a toke of weed.
OTOH, if you can get your hands on GHB (gamma hydroxy butyrate) that is the best for sex.
I will never forget my girl on GHB, rocking slowly on my cock, saying “why does it feel so good?”
They cut open my chest with a saw and then wrapped it back up with wire. I probably received a blood transfusion contaminated with mRNA. I still feel like I’ve been hit by a train, and now people are telling me I should just let someone suck my dick.
I’m starting to wish the stroke had just killed me—then I’d be done with it all.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. What a read. This is your most pessimistic piece so far. But, more importantly, it is a naked snapshot of the little snowflake you have become. And I want you to see what the consequences are. How I am just consumed by thoughts that are destroying me, while nothing is being done for me that works. I am trying to get better, but not receiving the help I need. There. Did you really expect to get any better by visiting that homo PhD? Bet he’s quite busy taking it up the ass with the money you have spent on “therapy”. Writing is therapeutic, but I also like to watch some horrifying real-life videos of people dying in horrible ways. And because the professional cope does not seem to cause measurable effect, you resort to watch the suffering of some stupid random whores as a desperate attempt to inspire a sense of justice inside “your mind”. I mean, don’t get me wrong: I know you feel betrayed, yes. But, can’t you see you’re just running in circles inside a mental fish bowl? See, what exactly did that damn woman you write about take away that… Read more »
While meditation can be helpful in some ways, it’s really important to add in that he should only be connecting within to his own energy while he does it, if the meditation includes focusing on anything. There are a lot of cases where people will meditate and try to “connect to god (out there)” in the meditative states, or to the world or some spirit or whatever, and it’s basically a really dumb way to open yourself to demonic entities if you do that. And from there you end up with cases of meditation psychosis, and so on. It’s probably true that therapy and medication is not very helpful, I know it wasn’t in my own case. Like I’ve said in the past, things like depression are caused by demonic entities, and the most effective way to approach getting rid of it is to get rid of their root cause using energy work. Also the Buddha wasn’t even really correct. By that, I mean a lot of his assumptions and conclusions about the nature of self and reality are literally just epistemologically wrong. And even in that context, most people are badly mangling what he said. Christ was a lot… Read more »
WARNING TO ALL
Euro-tards have the European Digital Services Act (DSA).
The Dutch are particularly prudent with their enforcement.
Remember, if ugly things happen, the fuzz will be fuzzing.
As for the post author – you need to see the Rabbai ASAP – for some Chabad mentoring.
Rad, I have been in fairly dire straights myself lately, as I have indicated numerous times on the blog. Like you, I have experimented with psychedelic drugs for a variety of reasons, but probably mostly for the hope that they would “fix me” in some sense. A few months back I saw an interview with some luminary in the “psychedelic community” on Jeffrey Mishlove’s YouTube channel. I don’t remember the fellow’s name, but he seemed to be someone quite entrenched in the “psychedelic therapy” community. I was disillusioned and crestfallen to hear him say that the evidence shows psychedelic drugs offer great promise in treating depression, anxiety, addiction, grief, and PTSD, but that he has not seen any evidence they are useful in treating personality disorders. I believe I have a personality disorder, and I suspect you do, as well. HOWEVER, I have been paying more attention to the therapeutic potential of Ibogaine. I have no experience with Ibogaine, and I don’t think the researcher mentioned above had any experience with it as well. But from the accounts I have read of the experience, there is a small part of me that is hopeful it may be “just what the… Read more »
Ibogaine is often discussed alongside psychedelics, but it is actually quite different from classic psychedelics such as Psilocybin, LSD, or DMT. The main distinction is that ibogaine appears to have a unique potential for interrupting addiction, especially opioid addiction, in a way that other psychedelics generally do not. 1. Ibogaine may reduce withdrawal itself Most psychedelics can help people gain insight into the psychological roots of addiction. A person might come away from a psilocybin experience with a transformed perspective on their life, relationships, or substance use. Ibogaine appears capable of something more direct. Many people report that after taking it, opioid withdrawal symptoms are dramatically reduced or temporarily eliminated. This has led to its use in addiction clinics in countries where it is legal. Researchers believe this may involve ibogaine’s actions on multiple neurotransmitter systems, including opioid, glutamate, serotonin, and dopamine pathways. Its metabolite, noribogaine, may also play an important role. In simplified terms: • Psilocybin often helps people change their relationship to addiction. • Ibogaine may help both psychologically and biologically. 2. The experience is often described as autobiographical Many psychedelic experiences involve mystical states, ego dissolution, encounters with archetypal imagery, or feelings of unity. Ibogaine experiences are… Read more »
Look on the bright side: if it doesn’t work, you can at least die of a heart attack.
Exhaust your options before suicide, I say.
I have BPD and ayahuasca didn’t cure me, but definitely saved my relationship. It was like going to hell. Worse than a psychotic episode. With BPD you have no self-worth and can’t handle ambiguity of bad memories. It’s either grandiosity or suicidal ideation.
But by the 5th and 6th ceremonies was able to empathize with myself a bit and handle the bad emotions. Catching myself. The suicidal feeling protect you from feeling the actual pain. It’s easier to plan your own death than to sit with the sadness of your life when you have the emotional maturity of a toddler.
Ibogaine is something I’m seriously considering but I’m going to do a long year of DBT and other therapy methods first. Ayahuasca cracked too much open and I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m seriously mentally unwell, and that my thinking and social perception is far, far removed from neurotypical reality.
Hang in there brother
Thanks.
I think your plan is sound.
It’s good to hear that your ayahuasca experiences have been positive.
I’m a pessimist and I’ve seen far too many accounts of “bad trips” among ayuahuasca reports to endorse it as an unmitigated “good”
But if it is working for you, I say “keep going”
It seems to me there is some yet to be discovered factor which explains why some people have transcendent experiences on ayahuasca, and why others have bad trips.
I’m working on it.
Yeah neurotypical people at the ceremony are laughing and visiting other planets meanwhile I’m revisiting every sin I’ve ever committed in an agonizing nightmare trip. Makes my palms sweat just to remember
Hey brother I am praying for you and sending you well wishes.
“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, and he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
-The Lord of The Rings
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
-Khalil Gibran
I have now tried to call the Netherlands to report a seriously depressed person, but the numbers I am finding online are not working. If anyone can give me the right numbers (and instructions on how to dial them) I will try again. I know this will be unpopular but suicidal depression is not a joke. It is very possible that the Dutch authorities already know of Rintrah’s state and are watching his blog, since for God’s sake there are only 18 million people in the whole country, but they may not be and it can’t be assumed.
This is a bystander situation where the bystanders think that someone else will act and that does not work out well.
Radagast literally just wrote an hour ago that he no longer has a desire to sleep with a virgin, which was the main driving factor of his current suicidal ideation (and which also bizarrely prompted you to type “haha” in the other article, as noted by Mehen).
He also said that he himself literally told his psychologist/psychiatrist on numerous occasions that he was suicidal and they essentially disregarded his pleas for help. So I would assume that you and Big Bird trying to contact the Dutch authorities and INTERPOL won’t really help the situation. He also said that if (God forbid) he does carry out the act, it won’t be for several more months. So he still has time to think things through and seek further help which will hopefully improve his mental state over the Summer.
Also, he has his date to focus on instead of being distracted by a bunch of frantic comments posted on his blog by a privileged Silicon Valley upper middle class female autist over 5,000 miles away who doesn’t understand what it’s like to be a LSWM. No offence, nothing personal.
You’ll just have to take my word for it that I have enough personal experience to override what you’ve written, all of which I am aware of.
And I wasn’t expecting to be agreed with by someone with your life experience and world view. Basically you are clueless about this. Each excuse you wrote was wrong. The blog setting creates a dynamic where someone like you wants to “help and protect” Rintrah by not having him get help. It’s something teenagers do.
Also, after a person has been hospitalized once in this way, any future times are not as big a deal. It is basically medical, and it isn’t for long; it’s not like being committed to Bedlam in the 1600s.
I will address one of your points. You say that Rintrah’s therapist knows about his depression. But one of Rintrah’s points was the the therapist wasn’t listening to him about it. In that case, as with any medical problem, that means you have to find a person who will listen. The answer isn’t to say, “well, the idiot therapist won’t help so there’s nothing to be done.” You wouldn’t do that with an infection (I hope), and so you shouldn’t do it with severe depression.
There are some extremely smart people in psychiatry and therapy, along with plenty of cretins. If you haven’t come upon a person who can help, the answer is to keep looking (along with trying other things of course).
The proverbial “psyche ward” is actually harmful for sensitive and intelligent men like Rad. Unless, perhaps, they are *actively suicidal* (as in — on the very cusp of performing the act) and not merely contemplating the possibility thoughtfully and philosophically (as many sensitive and intelligent humans do from time to time) I can tell you this from experience. My one time (voluntary, and in retrospect, stupid) self-admission into the hospital has to rank among the top 3 worst decisions I have ever made. Not only did the experience not do a damn thing to help me, it actually traumatized me further, over and above the particular psychological issues which drove me to that point in the first place. I still have nightmares about it. In practical terms, I experience a general state of anxiety when I contemplate my future job prospects, because the details surrounding HIPAA and the lore regarding who exactly has access to one’s medical records are quite opaque (leaving aside the possibility of flagrant corruption). The only people I encountered during that experience (with one minor exception) were the dregs of society, and it was utterly depressing. I would have given anything to have encountered a “kindred… Read more »
I agree that a psych ward is only appropriate for a person who is in serious danger. There is such a shortage of space in such places (at least where I am), and it is so costly to keep someone in one, that there is not any risk that a person who is just thoughtfully philosophizing will be admitted.
Rintrah has made an attempt in the past and he is therefore at very high risk now. Also some of the things he just posted which I won’t repeat are risk indicators. That’s the only reason it would make sense.
The psych ward he was in earlier was not an unpleasant looking place, and it did not seem to contain the dregs of society. Of course if only a really bad psych ward were available then that means the risk has to be higher before it makes sense to admit someone.
It’s just to stabilize a person who is at serious risk. That is all.
“ and it is so costly to keep someone in one, ”
Fucking lol.
I will spare you the details of my story of requesting a release from my “imprisonment” in the psych ward two days in, and having a very coiffed “head girl” visit me in my room to explain to me in dulcet tones that if I insisted on discharge before the preordained 7 days, that I would endure “consequences”.
I later learned it was all about insurance and insurance companies and the greed of the hospital to keep me there for 7 days in order to get that sweet sweet insurance money.
Fuck this corrupt world.
They made me endure 7 days of Hell
I think I’m ready to join forces with Wombat, and allow the currents of communism to wash over me.
I know I’m not the only one.
“He also said that he himself literally told his psychologist/psychiatrist on numerous occasions that he was suicidal and they essentially disregarded his pleas for help.”
Then the obvious answer is to find a different therapist who doesn’t disregard pleas for help. I’d suggest finding one who is knowledgeable about shamanism and Jungian psychology and open to using psychedelics as a treatment method. Also, they should be at least 20 year’s older and ideally not gay and preferable a male. I’m thinking someone like Robbin Williams character in the movie Goodwill Hunting, someone who acts as a strong male mentor that can really get through the bullshit that all the other retarded homos missed.
I’m sure all secret services in the world are watching Rintrahs Blog and we commenters are all seen as domestic terrorists.
I fed Claude your past two posts. I know it is annoying that I am harping on this but I’m not trolling, just a huge fan of your blog and concerned. Reach out any time if you think you have BPD and I will chat with you, email or phone no problem. I’m around your age, male, and have been following your acct1234 stuff since forever. Claude: My suspicion would be Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), specifically in a more “quiet” or inwardly-directed presentation. Here’s what points that way: Identity instability — his sense of self seems entirely contingent on occupying a unique place in a woman’s mind. Without that, there’s nothing to stand on. Intense fear of being ordinary/abandoned — not classical abandonment fear, but a variant: the terror of being replaceable or insignificant to someone. Black-and-white thinking — the logic is very all-or-nothing. Either he is the formative experience of her life, or he is nothing. Emotional dysregulation — the depression may be partly a BPD affective instability rather than pure MDD, which would also explain the poor response to antidepressants. Chronic emptiness — present throughout, especially the sense that nothing the medical system offers actually touches what’s wrong.… Read more »
A rare Cyber Viking W
It’s good to know he can rise to the occasion when the situation demands it.
That robot girl is blushing right now. She loves you.
https://youtu.be/lOYnu38j4tE?si=dUbehIHZIAslBuex
So high — it’s hurting
So wide — the line is drawn
I’ve gotta learn to stop myself from falling
Down so low
So don’t die — it’s over
I’ve got a life, I’ve got a place to grow
I’ve gotta learn to stop myself from falling
Down so low
There’s still time to grow
You know, you know
It’s so hard to think clearly
Clear
So clear
I’ve gotta learn to stop myself from falling
Down so low
There’s no time to build
It’s no horror film
It’s so hard to think clearly
Ah
Ah
Ah
Ah – ooh
There’s still time to grow
You know, you know
It’s so hard to think clearly
Ah… Ah… Ah… Ah… Ah…
The title, “Warning: Gore” reminds me of the critical 2000 election stolen from Al Gore which I’m still pissed about.
History would have been so different.
This great song came from my old town in northern California.
Warning to the haters: it’s a Jew singing it. 🤧
https://youtu.be/W2msh0jut2Y?si=hEfT4BF5kPyVnWlG
The AI song is weird and doesn’t quite work, but it has potential. Kind of like you.
You need to look into “wake therapy” (sleep deprivation) if not already recommended by your therapists. It may sound like some tree-hugging BS, but it actually works for most depressive patients. One characteristic of depression is a messed up sleep architecture with extensive REM-phases that provide a self-reinforcing feedback loop that encodes bad memories and throughts. In wake therapy, you must stay awake for an entire night and go to bed only 2h earlier than your usual bedtime. This is the protocol that worked best for me. During the waking day, you must expose yourself to bright light at >10’000 lux for around half an hour, approximately 1h before your usual wake-up time. The recovery sleep is capped at 8h max. , you’re not allowed to fully compensate the loss of sleep. Immediately after waking up, expose yourself to bright light again. In winter, you need a therapy lamp. There are cheap ones, but you must literally stick your face into them and look downwards (the receptors are in the lower part of the eye, looking into the light is not necessary). Most protocols repeat this procedure 3x in one week (always with a mandatory recovery sleep). But in my… Read more »
Interesting thread.
Be sure to read the replies before and after:
https://x.com/cloneristic/status/2063279920013349280?s=46
Here is more wisdom.
Probably disgusting to Rad, but it is wisdom nonetheless.
https://x.com/cloneristic/status/2063427961789812951?s=46
The women commenters here are “normies”
Don’t lose sight of this fact
Sensitive Young Men lose again.
But there is nothing to fear, according to certain females on this blog.
But there are other females (usually feral) who will make it quite known where you stand as a male, and you know what I mean.
Not the prudish, masculine, autistic females on this blog, but the feral kind.
They will let you know where you stand in this Hell Realm.
They will pick at your supposed “weaknesses”
They will stick a pitchfork up your ass to do “more and more”
They are Kali, reaching for and expecting more and more to satiate their pussy-bloodlust.
It’s quite disgusting when you stop to consider it.
They are never satisfied.
At least, until a man puts his foot down and says “no more”
So, the two females are trying to talk Rintrah out of committing suicide, and you somehow interpret that as a bad thing? I’m beginning to think your idea of a feral woman is a woman with a dick. I’m also beginning to think that there are certain bad actors in this comment space who are influencing Rintrah to kill himself, for instance, your constant reference to this being a hell realm and your statement about suicide being freedom isn’t helpful at all, but could actually be detrimental in steering a naive person into committing suicide as a way to escape “this hell realm”. What you fail to mention is that dying doesn’t guarantee escape from the hell realm, and suicide may actually bind a person deeper into it, because it has negative karmic repercussions that carry over into the next life. You can’t run away from your problems, you have to resolve them while you’re alive, otherwise you’re going to just keep repeating them over and over again until you do, and suicide leaves a karmic debt that makes it ten times worse. In fact, if Rintrah does kill himself, or anyone else, and law enforcement investigates this website and… Read more »
> What you fail to mention is that dying doesn’t guarantee escape from the hell realm, and suicide may actually bind a person deeper into it, because it has negative karmic repercussions that carry over into the next life. You can’t run away from your problems, you have to resolve them while you’re alive, otherwise you’re going to just keep repeating them over and over again until you do, and suicide leaves a karmic debt that makes it ten times worse.
He didn’t “fail to mention” that hypothetical concern/possibility, he literally wrote an entire comment addressing it:
https://www.rintrah.nl/warning-gore/#comment-28058
Dude, are you fucking retarded? I was responding to what he said here, not there. Also, he contradicts himself all the time , and apparently he’s drunk most of the time that he comments here, so he really shouldn’t even be taken seriously about anything. However, not a good idea to make statements promoting suicide when you’re interacting with someone who is suicidal. But guess you don’t have a problem with that, since you are clearly defending this demented maniac.
He is not retarded.
I am retarded.
I agree that you are smarter than him, but just don’t forget IQ is not everything, it’s what you actually do that makes all the difference.
I am that ******* retarded that only I could figure out that this entire website might as well be a Unit 8200 LARP – with the boys in TLV pissing themselves at the responses.
I just realized this about you LSWM, you’re like a little grammar Nazi dork. You read every single comment, and I bet you even save them to your computer, waiting for someone to make a mistake, so you can cross reference it and point it out to them, except Mehen, of course, in which you must have selective hearing because he contradicts himself all the time, and that comment you highlighted is a perfect example of that. Just like you took special delight in pointing out, when apparently I must have said something you didn’t like, about how you wondered why I didn’t go away to my log cabin in the woods, when I’d previously dropped a comment implying such, though I never said it would be permanent. Believe me I wish I could, it was more wishful thinking, but unfortunately it’s not in the cards at least not right now, but it is a passionate goal of mine. Anyway, I get your vibe, can’t say I like it much. When I meet people like you in person, smug, autistic male, clueless idiot, I walk away.
> Dude, are you fucking retarded? I was responding to what he said here, not there. And? What’s your point? What difference does it make? You shouldn’t be posting replies and jumping to conclusions until you’ve read through all the comment threads first. You are also making basic errors and misinterpretations e.g. during that interaction between Vlajdermen and Karen about CV/SYM. Also, when you are referencing other people’s comments, you often say “someone else” or “another poster” rather than just simply type their username. I find that behaviour peculiar, or a “red flag”, as the normies say. > I just realized this about you LSWM, you’re like a little grammar Nazi dork. You read every single comment, and I bet you even save them to your computer, waiting for someone to make a mistake, so you can cross reference it and point it out to them OK, this is getting ridiculous. It is quite common for autistic people to have remarkable memories for specific details. Like that time you were paranoid about not displaying a profile picture, claiming that having one could be a security risk for “tracking purposes”. LOL, as if the NSA doesn’t already know everything about you… Read more »
“You shouldn’t be posting replies and jumping to conclusions until you’ve read through all the comment threads first. You are also making basic errors and misinterpretations e.g. during that interaction between Vlajdermen and Karen about CV/SYM. Also, when you are referencing other people’s comments, you often say “someone else” or “another poster” rather than just simply type their username.” This is Rintrah’s bog. It is not your blog. He did not post such rules. I have ADHD and I couldn’t follow those “rules” if I wanted to. This is not third grade; you aren’t anyone’s boss. I don’t even remember my interaction with Vlajdermen. Your mental traits isn’t any more special than mine. Do you actually read every thing that everyone posts??? Most people literally can’t; they have other things they must do. And it would also be ludicrous to read 99 percent of the total crap that Mehen posts; it is just sick and damaging stuff; I don’t want my mind filled with toxic things; it is not a good thing for a person to do; there is even biblical support for avoiding damaging people (2 Timothy 3 1-5); we should help others but not sit around consuming horrible… Read more »
> This is not third grade; you aren’t anyone’s boss.
Lol.
You are great at piecing things together; the problem is that you sometimes start from false premises and then work your way to something wrong. You also sometimes attribute too much significance to unimportant particulars, rather than the whole argument/picture.
Now I remember the Big Bird Vladjerman thing. She hardly ever makes that kind of mistake. And, it is easy to do that with these threads.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y66lVscV5Oc
You reveal more than you thought you intended.
I once had high hopes for you, but you have merely confirmed my pessimism.
Whatever you are (male or female) you are clearly not capable of parsing nuance, or even reading my many comments properly.
I would like this blog to be “men only” but I understand Rad is a Scandanavian with “progressive” views.
I can understand why the portions of “male locker talk” here trigger you, but it doesn’t mean your wishes that I be arrested for my speech should be platformed or taken seriously.
Rad, remember what Jesus once said:
“I come not to bring peace, but a sword”
Well, at least I’m not mentally ill.
Anyway, you can wish all you want to have your all boys club, but if Rintrah actually wants to find a girlfriend it would probably be in his best interests not to exclude females from his blog, at least to get some exposure to the female perspective. Otherwise if all he has is a bunch of old men that are all plying for his attention and want to keep the women out, some would suspect that they may have homosexual designs. It’s actually kind of sick, what you’re doing, and I am aware of what you doing. You are an extremely toxic person, who has dabbled in black magic, and you have a harmful influence. But you’re also very intelligent, but you don’t seem to be a very good person, and being a good person trumps intelligence every day.
“I would like this blog to be “men only””
Wow, he said it.
Yes, I do wonder if Mehen’s constant attempts to drive any females away, while pretending to be obsessed with females, aren’t simply his wanting to become a life partner of Rintrah. It would solve Mehen’s status needs, but obviously would be terrible for Rintrah, no matter what Rintrah’s sexuality.
However, Retard is Mehen’s betrothed, not Rintrah.
I didn’t “accuse” Mehen of being gay. Big Bird did. You misread me.
It’s curious that you did, really.
I wasn’t thinking of them having a sexual partnership, but that is what you came up with.
Also, there is actually nothing wrong with being gay; it is not an insult. You may be an anti-gay bigot but I am not.
Maybe it is an Australian thing? I’ve lived in CA for many years, including in San Francisco. Men aren’t paranoid about their manhood around here.
And, Mehen relentlessly attacks me and Big Bird as females, as such. If we say anything in response than we are being mean females, lol.
Thank you.
“ Typical female behaviour.”
I wish I had some clever zinger meme to post here, (it’s deserved) but I am but a lowly GenX LSWM. I’m like a Grandpa who can’t make sense of the “kids”.
Hopefully some Zoomer male reading can provide one.
“ Typical female behaviour”
The Eternal Solipsism Of The Female Mind
https://x.com/mattforney/status/2046964399760445692?s=46
Lol. Do you ever read Retard’s posts????? You’re looking for an argument, preferably with a woman. People who live in the SF Bay area are not anti-gay, and they are not hyper sensitive about jokes, and they don’t go around looking for fights about sexuality. It is really weird that Mehen wants a “men’s only” group with Rintrah. The guys I know in real life get along with women and have female friends along with their wives and daughters. They see them as fellow humans. Maybe that is a California thing, too, although I see it in New England as well. Guys who are secure in their sexuality don’t take offense at these sorts of things. My gay friends don’t; they have a sense of humor. It is the guys who feel conflicted who tend to be hyper sensitive. Mehen was actually not upset or insulted; you’re the one who is. It really is weird, I guess that maybe Australia is like the U.S. in the 1950s. “How dare you impugn Mehen’s manliness!!! I will show you!!! And by the way, men could beat up and kill women and you should keep that in mind!!!” And you want your cake… Read more »
I know you want me. I could be just like the Prince of Pegging.
Give the guy your virginity. This is what he wants.
I cannot even read my posts.
Well, I’m glad you defended the honor of Mehen and Retard; thank god for that. Who knows what would have become of them otherwise.
I guess you are taking your own problems and issues and projecting them on me. It is getting boring. This is a blog; it is not your Aunt Matilda’s living room; people say snarky things.
Well, that was a rebuttal.
I have no honor.
What becomes of me?
Endless gooning to sick and depraved AI generated porn – that is limitless and without any social boundaries – because it is generated by my own completely uncensored AI server in my garage – which also serves as my goon cave.
The smell of my garage sickens me.
Wombat, I have recently come to the conclusion that it is folly to engage with women as if they were discoursing in good faith.
Trust me, I have tried.
Your blood-pressure will fall when you let go of the need to have them realize the “truth” you are attempting to convey.
It is best to think of women as children, who require some direction or nudges, but never as equals who are capable of abstract or logical or principled thought. (There may be an exception for female autists; I am not sure)
I understand this admonition might clash with your previously stated experience with “witches” in your immediate family.
That’s a hard thing for a man to extricate himself from.
I just posted about stuff that is worse than witches in response to your claim that I was being vague about the miseries of GenXers. Looking at what I wrote I now see it was mostly men doing the horrible things. However, I think humans are individuals and I am not going to bash men as such merely because I know of horrible men.
I am not gay. Only those that go bottoms are gay.
Think of me as a Greek.
The funny thing is that they tell me the next day that they thoroughly enjoyed my cum running out of them and that they needed to wear a pad. It is not one islander “friend” with benefits that says this, they all say this. I took it as a subtle hint to buy them a pack of pads each get-together. Women’s hygiene products cost a fortune here.
Gay means you go bottoms.
Blessed be man that gives, and cursed be the man that receives.
Retard, I’ve never seen the attraction of a man’s hairy butthole, but you do you.
I am talking about going down bro.
It is you that has the ********** thoughts.
Retard, at least learn your definitions.
PEGGING refers to a man being penetrated, not a woman.
You talked about not being gay in the Greek sense, as you are the one penetrating the asshole, as opposed to being penetrated, so I assumed you were enjoying men.
Either way, to me it’s fucked up (and yes, I’ll spell it out because to hide words with ********** is just silly) but if your woman enjoys it and you do too, I have no objections against your sodomy.
Meh-hen is not gay. He just wants a girl that uses all four holes. This is not too much to ask for nowadays, in my retarded opinion.
That is correct.
I will make him bite the pillow in retarded agony.
“Do you accuse all men you argue with of being homos?” No, only Mehen. I realize that not all gay men hate women, but there are some who do. These will be the macho homos, overly aggressive, high testosterone, muscular, often with neo-Nazi sympathies, who deep down inside hate women, not just on a physical level, but mentally, emotionally, spiritually, they oppose the concept of femininity in its entirety and embrace masculinity as the epitome of greatness. They are misogynists, and they don’t consider women equals, even if she has a higher IQ then he does, better job, better educated, more experienced, he will always consider the woman inferior no matter what. Mehen, prefers men. He only likes women to fuck and to worship him like a god, and the only kind of woman he actually wants to have sex with are the ones that like to be choked. Says a lot right right there. No, any man who prefers the company of men, who believes that only men are his intellectual equals and that women should just shut up and spread her legs, is homosexual deep down inside, even if he never has sex with a man, his moral… Read more »
> and the only kind of woman he actually wants to have sex with are the ones that like to be choked.
That’s all I need to hear. You are a point-blank liar. Possible pathological/compulsive. Mehen NEVER said that. Show me the evidence that he stated that. Granted, he has posted some questionable things while inebriated, but he DID NOT say what you are accusing him of. It is not worth engaging in further debate with people who fabricate false statements.
Contrary to your bizarre accusations, I do not have all 28,000 blog comments saved on my computer. But if I have some free time later I will re-read those comments to prove that you are a blatant liar. So not only are you twisting other people’s words, but your explicit language and incessant use of abusive ad hominem tactics e.g. calling me a “mentally challenged retard” and “dipshit” and “clueless idiot” and “grammar Nazi dork” further erodes your credibility, especially considering that my own grammar is far from being perfect.
“ That’s all I need to hear. You are a point-blank liar.” Thank you. It’s not my nature to spend any more than the tiniest bit of time defending myself against false accusations (I prefer to simply show my accusers my ass) but I will attempt one last try at explaining myself. When I first raised the issue of female kink/sexual choking on this blog, it was in reaction to a week of frantic discussion/controversy on Twitter regarding the topic of “female smut” My posting here was deliberately provocative (as is my nature), and initially somewhat cagey regarding where I stood in relation to the topic. Because of this, the initial pushback I received could reasonably be attributed to my ambiguity regarding my intentions. But after the initial accusations from Karen and Big Bird, I made subsequent comments clarifying my thoughts and feelings, demonstrating my own discomfort with the phenomenon. I think it was you or Cyber Viking who offered the reasonable comment that such sexual kinks squicked them out, and that they would not feel comfortable with it, which is a totally normal reaction from a civilized male (and comports with the majority of anecdotal reports from men in… Read more »
Rad, why does the blog give me only like 5 seconds to edit a comment
“Forgive them. For they know not what they do.”
“Forgive her, for she knows not what she does”
This one’s for you, Karen:
https://youtu.be/3sMALbhJU6M?si=jCcFYCYniHbiTCK7
I made a mistake.
That video is the censored one with softened lyrics.
These are the original lyrics:
————-
Forgive her, for she knows not what she does
A cross upon her bedroom wall
From grace she will fall
An image burning in her mind
And between her thighs
A dying god-man full of pain
When will you cum again?
Before him beg to serve or please
On your back or knees
No forgiveness for her sins
She prefers punishment
Would you suffer eternally
Or internally? Ah
For her lust
She’ll burn in hell
Her soul done medium well
All through mass manual stimulation
Salvation
Corpus Christi
She needs
Corpus Christi
Corpus Christi
Corpus Christi
She needs
Corpus Christi
Corpus Christi
Body of Christ
She needs
Body of Christ
Body of christ
She’d like to know God
Love God
Feel her God
Inside of her
Deep inside of her, ah
She’d like to know God
Love God
Feel, feel, feel her God
Inside of her
Deep inside of her
Inside of her
Deep inside of her
Jesus Christ looks like me
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ looks like me
Jesus Christ, ah
A “dying God-Man full of pain” reminds me of Rad
Whose woods these are, I think I know
His house is in the village though
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake
The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep
In Stephen King’s fiction, the Shine is a psychic ability that allows certain people to perceive or interact with reality in ways that go beyond normal human senses. The concept is introduced most famously in The Shining through the character Danny Torrance. Danny can: • See events from the past and future. • Read thoughts and emotions. • Communicate telepathically. • Perceive supernatural entities and hidden truths. The cook, Dick Hallorann, explains that some people “shine” a little, while others shine very brightly. As King’s fictional universe expanded—especially in Doctor Sleep and the The Dark Tower books—the Shine came to be understood as part of a broader psychic and metaphysical reality. Different manifestations include: • Telepathy • Precognition • Clairvoyance • Psychokinesis • Psychic sensitivity to other worlds and dimensions The Deeper Meaning On a symbolic level, the Shine often represents heightened perception rather than merely a paranormal power. People who shine tend to: • See truths that others miss. • Perceive hidden connections. • Be unusually sensitive to suffering, evil, and beauty. • Experience reality as deeper and stranger than it appears on the surface. In King’s work, this heightened awareness is usually a mixed blessing. It grants insight,… Read more »
In Stephen King’s fiction, the Shine is a psychic ability that allows certain people to perceive or interact with reality in ways that go beyond normal human senses. The concept is introduced most famously in The Shining through the character Danny Torrance. Danny can: • See events from the past and future. • Read thoughts and emotions. • Communicate telepathically. • Perceive supernatural entities and hidden truths. The cook, Dick Hallorann, explains that some people “shine” a little, while others shine very brightly. As King’s fictional universe expanded—especially in Doctor Sleep and the The Dark Tower books—the Shine came to be understood as part of a broader psychic and metaphysical reality. Different manifestations include: • Telepathy • Precognition • Clairvoyance • Psychokinesis • Psychic sensitivity to other worlds and dimensions The Deeper Meaning On a symbolic level, the Shine often represents heightened perception rather than merely a paranormal power. People who shine tend to: • See truths that others miss. • Perceive hidden connections. • Be unusually sensitive to suffering, evil, and beauty. • Experience reality as deeper and stranger than it appears on the surface. In King’s work, this heightened awareness is usually a mixed blessing. It grants insight,… Read more »
Isn’t there an Irish group called “Sinn Fein”
That’s way above my pay grade.
Shout out to my Oirish readers.
Hush child. Don’t get your panties in a twist. You don’t have to be so defensive, I didn’t realize you and Mehen were lovers.
So I called you names. Get over it. While we’re at it, I’ve got another one for you to add to your obsessive compulsive collection. Based on thorough investigation you can now add “souless NPC” to your repertoire of names that Big Bird has called you.
P.S. I’m just a natural comedian. Don’t take yourself so seriously.
Sincerely,
Big Bird in the Zoo
The black pill is that Borat was 100% correct:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRXAZGFn8hM
“ You are an extremely toxic person, who has dabbled in black magic, ”
I realize I am probably pissing into the wind by asking you this, but I’m genuinely curious of your own definition of “black magic”
“ and being a good person trumps intelligence every day.”
This is a contentious and debatable issue which has vexed me for much of my life, and still does. I offer no “final conclusion.”
My erratic and unstable comments here are evidence of that fact.
“ Anyway, you can wish all you want to have your all boys club, but if Rintrah actually wants to find a girlfriend it would probably be in his best interests not to exclude females from his blog, at least to get some exposure to the female perspective.”
There is a trope in the “Manosphere”: don’t ask a fish how to catch fish, ask the fishermen.
I can’t say I fully endorse this oversimplification, although there is much truth to it. However, after a certain level of experience/wisdom/maturity, a man learns he can, indeed, learn much from hearing womens’ rationalizations. But this requires a certain level of discernment born of experience.
“Lies are closer to the point than truth. They convey what someone is trying to hide.” — Hyatt
The black pill is that Borat was 100% correct:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRXAZGFn8hM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y66lVscV5Oc
Just organize him a virgin that is not fat.
It cannot be that hard.
Not as hard as you, Retard. You disgusting pervert.
I know.
Just organize him a virgin already.
Do something useful.
>Imagine what God or the aliens or whatever does to a soul that goes down that route.
Hahaha you wish. There is no punishment, because there is nothing to punish.
The same thing happens as when you go to sleep and don’t dream.
If I don’t want to live, I don’t want to live. Nobody can oblige me.
In regards to my mother, she was depressed and suicidal when she was young.
She even received medication for this.
Having children is a choice she made, despite her own life history.
I however, have no memory whatsoever of choosing to be born.
Still, don’t blame your mother. It took tremendous effort for a female to avoid getting pregnant on principle back then. Contraception was not great; it required huge amounts of ongoing diligence; most humans don’t have that kind of attention span. And then one moment of being happy for a second and thinking the happiness could last this time could screw it all up.
And it would destroy your mother, so Cyber Viking is right about that. Don’t destroy your mother.
My mom was extremely depressed; she had me and my brother by accident; she would never have had kids intentionally (but she thought abortion was horrible). She took loads of antidepressants and they did help (since she is female). She was an atheist, so like you she had the irrational certainty that after death there is nothing (in fact, we have no idea, truly; it is absurd to make any claims about it). On the topic of suicide she made the insightful (to me) point that we really don’t live long anyway and we will be dead for a very long time so one might as well stick around for this brief period.
What you don’t seem to understand is that I feel no obligation to live. I’m done with that bullshit. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t do anything to deserve it. If it comes as a shock to anyone that I kill myself, they’re a bunch of morons. If they’re attached to me, they should have used the opportunity they had to remove their emotional attachment to me. I have been mentally preparing myself for the end, FOR YEARS. Is it my fault if other people just stick their heads in the sand and refuse to acknowledge that I never wanted any of this? I don’t think so. If people refuse to acknowledge that I don’t want this, then they will just get what they deserve. >You go on and on about muh Netherlands history and muh Judeo-Christian West I’ve never said a thing about Judeo-Christian West. You’re arguing against a strawman. >If you kill yourself over being a virgin I’m going to laugh at you. Laugh all you want. I don’t care. Your life will suck. You’re what, twenty? Enjoy living on a planet that gradually becomes uninhabitable. There’s 0.5-1 degree Celsius of warming in the pipeline over the… Read more »
Cyber Viking’s life won’t suck because he’s not depressed. People who are not depressed mostly enjoy life even when things are terrible. That is why you need to keep looking for better meds and treatments, since then you could at least sort of enjoy life even though times will be hard.
Oh everyone will be depressed when they have to live with the reality they will have created.
Maybe they should be depressed but if you look at slums these days in India, that is the situation people may be living in in the future, but there are plenty of people presently in those slums who are not depressed. They may be miserable but they are not depressed; there is a difference.
There has never been justice on earth yet, and there is not likely to be in the future. If you stick around you can help mitigate the misery of people and animals who you think deserve help.
No, he is depressed. Happy people don’t frequent this blog. He is masking it with catty 4chan rhetoric like greentext arrows and fake-laughing at suicide, because he’s just so macho and above it all. Not unlike his ceaseless schizoposting from a year or two ago, it’s clearly him trying to impress rin.
Well, yes and no. He is less depressed than he used to be. And he helped himself, I think, by telling himself the sort of stuff that he is telling Rintrah now. I don’t think it is a good approach to use on another person.
“less depressed than he used to be”
And yet he’s planning to commit suicide?!
Okay, I guess before, he wanted to get better, and was seeking treatment to enhance his quality of life, to cure his depression, by learning how to maintain a state of equilibrium in the face of prolonged periods of crisis, but now he is convinced that the only way to get better is to die?
Sounds a bit backwards to me. Sounds like an act of war though, that Rintrah is a casualty of war, the war against the indigenous white man. Or he’s lying about everything, and everything he has said about himself has been a lie. That is a very strong possibility that no intelligent person should ever rule out.
Sorry, I only scanned your comment, thought you were talking about Rintrah, didn’t realize you were talking about someone else. My comment is still relevant though.
Big Bird, I was saying that Cyber Viking was less depressed than he used to be.
“ You don’t actually know this. Your metaphysical beliefs change every other day though.” Indeed. As Karen noted, none of us really know what awaits us after death. I used to be an atheist who conceived of suicide as “ going to sleep”, and this notion (or hope) might explain Rad’s prediction towards the materialistic/reductionistic conception of the universe. It offers the hope of a “final rest” But I have been close to suicide before. I have also been in psychosis where some small part of me intuited that death is not the “end”. Under conventional Christian beliefs, suicide is sin. But under Neo-Gnostic beliefs, suicide is also a kind of “sin” in the sense that whatever Demiurge/Archonic Beings keeping us individuals imprisoned in this Hell Realm have a degree of power comparable to a prison warden, and as we all know, prison wardens don’t take kindly to prisoners who attempt to “escape” They punish escapees harder than they do the prisoners. In those psychotic states of mind I was once in, I intuited that if I suicided, I would merely “wake up” into an even worse Demonic Reality. In my case, it was returning to my first job after… Read more »
I may have called a demon into this blog, I’m not sure.
I did once perform Sigil Magick for Diogenes’ sake.
The small problem with ritual magick is that it contains the possibility of Unintended Consequences.
It’s ok though, Demons have much to teach.
If that really works, and you’re the one who gave me this stroke, then you better watch out for me in the afterlife.
You have me wrong, my vodka-drinking brother.
The ritual was from long ago, (months(?), years(?) — my memory fails me).
It was during your second-to-last disappearance from this blog. Activity on the blog had slowed down at that point, and I missed your contributions.
So I performed an impromptu sigil magick ritual calling you back to the blog.
Lo and behold, you returned a few weeks later.
It was probably just coincidence, though.
We are literally in hell already, take it from someone who was literally ass raped by demons for a few years straight (that’s what a “kundalini awakening” is). If you wish to see this as a judgement conferred by some “god”, then it is a sadistic one which attempts to cause spiritual harm to otherwise good people. It is a common misconception that hell is where the evil are punished – rather, those who have the kindest hearts are tortured here, while evil beings are rewarded. You can even infer from the suffering in Radagast’s life, that he has a very kind heart. I don’t think Radagast should care about hypothetical judgement from gods, demons, aliens, spirit guides, his family, whatever. If he is going to do this, he really needs to be focused on not trusting whatever entities he encounters upon death, avoiding the light tunnel when he dies, and not going along with the reincarnation process generally. Depending on what he chooses to do, I wish there had been more time to confer the information I know about these topics in a more detailed way besides just like, random comments on his blog tho. Ideally I would strongly… Read more »
You should author a manga series about all of that.
And, well, imagine I give you a sincere smile, pat on your back, and just walk away.
lol I’ve had a strange life yeah. I’ve thought about that you could make a movie out of some of it, but people would probably assume it was fiction if they watched. This world is a lot stranger than most people realize.
Anyway, the advice I gave above can be generalized to everyone, people should be energy training for a variety of reasons and obviously you should seek to leave samsara after your physical body dies too.