Every once in a while I just feel like pointing out again what a complete banality they have planned for us. By 2040, one in every four employed adults in the Netherlands is supposed to work in healthcare, because we’ll have so many sick elderly.
Just think about this for a moment. You go to the nursing home, change grandma’s diaper, get her dressed, walk outside for your cigarette break, ask your colleague whether she had a nice weekend and then you go back, staring at the clock until you’re allowed to go home again.
I visited my grandmothers in the nursing home, it’s the most depressing place on Earth. But for droves of people, that’s supposed to be every day of their lives. Babysitting grandma, two weeks a year in Spain, a house without a garden that you paid half a million bucks for.
One of my favorite movies is Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof zoo. It’s what Fight Club and trainspotting try to be. It’s about a bunch of teenagers in Berlin who become heroin addicted prostitutes. I don’t buy the idea that heroin is physically so addictive that people can’t quit. I think it’s something psychological. “Ha, I found out what the greatest feeling in the world is, but you want me to spend the rest of my life wiping grandma’s arse in the nursing home? FUCK YOU!”
It’s the same reason war veterans generally don’t become productive members of society. The Hell’s Angels were founded by world war II vets. You push your brain’s hedonic state too far in either direction, it can’t readjust to the narrow band that constitutes most people’s day to day lives. Just as prostitution is the apotheosis of femininity, war is the apotheosis of masculinity. In both cases, if you’ve experienced it, there’s no true recovery from it.
I just distinctly remember those moments I had sitting at the office, thinking to myself: “Alright, so this is it. This is what I’m supposed to spend my days doing, in one variety or another.” And I just couldn’t accept it. So I began constantly getting high. Once we were all supposed to “work from home” during lockdown I would just wander through the forest during worktime, vaping kush, smelling the leaves of the trees.
And I looked for some other way to make money. I now seem to get stuck at around half a million, enough to travel the world, not enough to buy a house, settle down and sink into stasis. I could buy a house in the countryside, earning money on the side growing cannabis. But I can’t buy a house and just do nothing anymore, I’m not rich enough for that. And that’s probably a good thing.